GIVING EVERYONE, INCLUDING OURSELVES, PERMISSION TO EXPERIENCE GOD IN THEIR OWN WAY!

A few years back I was driving across country with one of my daughters and I had written about the experience.

As we arrive at the Dakotas, as sacred to the Native Americans as the Holy Land is to Christians, I notice the young Indians rebel against the ways of their elders as many Christians rebel against theirs the same way many children rebel against their family traditions.

It’s natural; it’s normal; it’s how we learn; it’s how we grow.

The similarities in the Lakota Ceremonies and the Christian Rites are amazing to me.

I think God – One God – One Creator – One Universe, One Great Mystery, One Holy Spirit, One Great Spirit – One Wakentanka…but as many ways to worship as there are people in the world. (One Great Mystery, beyond all understanding)

If a person’s life experience has turned them from one form of honor and worship, there is always another waiting to be discovered. For me today, out in the open, in the beauty and the Wind of the Spirit, I listen to John Denver’s Eagles and Horses and I realize…that I have been to church.

This holiday season, find your individual way of worship, giving thanks and co-creating life by dreaming BIG, with the Creator of your understanding!

SANITY DURING THE HOLIDAYS...TAKING CARE OF OURSELVES!

Christmas….

How can one day put so many people into a tail spin? After all, it’s just another day…right?

I had a phone call yesterday from someone very dear to my heart….the conversation began…. “ I need a valium to get through the day tomorrow.” This is not the first person who has confessed to me the stress of the holidays and the need for some relief to 'get through it!'

I thought back to the movie, Christmas Vacation….Chevy Chase wanted the holidays to be perfect. He tried to duplicate Christmas from his childhood memories, what he thought he needed to do to make Christmas...Christmas! After every thing he created turned out to be disastrous…he turned to his dad and asked, “How did you make it through so many holidays?” His dad held up a bottle of whisky and said, “I had a little help from my old pal Jack….Jack Daniels!”

I put myself in the category of not fitting into the Norman Rockwell holiday scene and the stress that trying to ‘fit in’ can cause.

One more gift to make, to buy. One more thing to cook, to clean...One more person to visit~

Sometimes we can get so caught up in the preparation that we totally miss the gift, the gift of time and doing what bring us joy.

The question: Can we stay grounded and happy in the Holiday Season simply by taking inventory as to how we wish to spend our time. Who do we want to spend our time with and how much are we willing to give others while still taking care of ourselves.

Maybe the next time a holiday or special occasion comes around, perhaps we'll be able to say 'No' to the things that don't bring us joy....saving space for the things that do! Remember to take some time just for you...resting, playing...rejuvenating! Remember that when you're feeling your best, that will radiate to the others around you.

EAGLES, HORSES AND DOLPHINS ~ DIVINE SUPPORT

I recently recruited a friend to help me do a Rising Star Healing session for a friend, long distance. I hadn't much experience with long distance healing before, however I knew that, Energy follows intention and so we began. Great Spirit was the first to arrive with the most loving breeze, the lines from a song, 'you're on this earth until you can paint with all the colors of the wind' came to my mind. The following account was written by my friend after his experience on the table.

Colors of the Wind ~ resonating, pulsating thru out my inner self ~ Wild horses moving joyfully, effortlessly across the plains, eagles soaring majestically, reverently above the mountain peaks. Dolphins swimming, jumping moving exquisitely in the vast sea! Tom’s spirit was there, (a friend in a coma) witnessing. My mom, smiling, assuring, comforting that everything is as it should be and it’s all ok!!!

The long distance recipient reported having more energy.

We had all been touched.

Healing and support come from all sources. Once again, we are all interconnected....we're all One!

WOMEN SUPPORTING, SHARING, NURTURING EACH OTHER

Here we are on the last day of APDM and I don't want to miss a minute of it! All Planets in Direct Motion is a very powerful energetic time for us! It happens only 8 times in 10 years!

Looking back to the first day, 4 of us women got together in ceremony to set intentions for the next period of time. We had no idea how it was going to look, we just came together trusting that things would unfold how they were going to. We began by setting up an altar and we all added items that we had on our person to the collection. It began with my eagle, hawk, owl and turkey feathers, resting on a purple scarf, and some dried rose petals that have been accompanying me on this part of my journey.

We all took turns being on the massage table, being tended to, nurtured by the other three, feet, arm, hand and head massages etc. We broke for dinner and returned to complete our session. Some pretty powerful things happened that evening for us all. Not only ourselves personally, but for the collective, all creation, beginning with our families, friends, community, the world etc.

It's not too late for you to use this powerful time and set some specific intentions for yourself. Sometimes the hardest thing is figuring out what we want! If you know you want to climb to the top of Wanapicchu, you can get there! Once you know the destination...you can arrive.

As this last day of this APDM comes to and end, I will stay vigilant to my intention of holding you all in sacred space and that your intentions will manifest and all of our lights will shine making the world full of love and light. The Brightest Planet of all!

LIVING WAGE; CONSCIOUS LIVING

I've been here in AZ, working 2 jobs to try a get enough money together to publish my first book. Something has come into my awareness that I had known about, but never really internalized. I work at Fry's Market for $7.50 an hour and a waitressing job that pays, $4.25 an hour; certainly, they expect you to get tips and the truth of the matter is, sometimes you do and sometimes you don't.

I am definitely not going to be making this kind of money for ever, however, there are many people who do and my heart goes out to them. I overheard someone in the parking lot telling her friend that she just went to The Olive Garden and when asked if she wanted to purchase an item, she replied, "That's more money than I make in an hour." You really have to begin to think about minimum wage and a living wage. While taking a training class, I met a young mother of 2 small children, living alone....and making $7.50 an hour. Come on, give me a break!

When I first arrived at my waitressing job, I met a woman in her 50's who had several jobs and crocheted potholders and place mats that she was selling for $30 a set. I asked her, what it was that she did with all of her money. She said, "Just trying to survive." She lives in a trailer that needs to be torn down, so the heating and cooling bills are high. She has an older Kia car with a car payment and a few cats.

I am trying to be conscious in my living, what I eat and recycle etc. I am not a fan of purchasing chicken after watching how they're treated in chicken farms. So, if I want chicken, my heart tells me that it has to be free range. However, the reality is I have to work over an hour and a half to buy it when the cooked chicken in the store is only $5. While many are against Walmart, I can buy a bottle of juice at Walmart for $3 when it cost $6 at the regular market. Again, I have to work nearly an hour to have a nice bottle of juice.

What this experience has done for me is open my eyes to how many of us are living. It has made me fully aware of why people choose what they do when it comes to eating and the environment. I can get a $1 burrito or $3 happy meal! It's simply about the money!

Until we as a society are willing to pay a fair wage (a people work for it) social justice for all creation won't be a reality. Sometimes it's easier to live with our heads in the sand about where our food comes from and how things are treated simply because there seem like no other options.

When I'm eating fully consciously and giving thanks, the thanks not only goes to a Higher Power, but also, mostly to the one who has sacrificed it's life for my health. I can no longer eat a fish without reverence when it's lying on the platter, looking me in the eye or eat potatoes that just came out of the dirt with their little faces without a sense of gratitude.

The bottom line, working these low paying jobs has given me a new since of compassion and honor for the people who do them. My hat is off to you all!

ALL PLANETS IN DIRECT MOTION!

Today, Dec. 5, 2011 is the beginning of 5 days, known as All Planets In Direct Motion! At a recent Shamanic Astrology class, a graduate did a presentation on this. She researched all the previous times in history that APDM was in effect and while I don't remember exactly the stories, the concept that stayed with me, was THESE NEXT FEW DAYS ARE FULL OF EXTRA ENERGY! This presentation was so impressive that I decided to set a goal to publish my book during these days. Now that we're at the beginning of this gift of extra support, I have found that it has also been an important time for me to reflect and set some specific intentions for where I want my personal and professional life to go.

APDM only happens 8 times in 10 years and we're in one! Lucky us! The next one is Dec. 30 - Jan 26, 2011 and not again for quite a period of time.

My wish for you is to take some time to reflect in the next few days on the intentions you want to set for your life and direction for your life's purpose.

I BELIVE IN ANGELS

My vision quest is to last until May...ish according to Shamonic Astrology. I am in a cycle of; exactly what I am doing, following the doors that open and paying attention to the ones that close. In my previous life, thinking I knew what was best for me and everyone around me, I would simply push, maneuver and manipulate things the way I thought they should be. It wasn't a bad way to live, but I have found out from experience that watching and waiting for guidance and support from a higher place is much more fun and I've had opportunities and experiences that I didn't have when I was in control of everything.

Most recently, I am here in southern AZ, watching and waiting (and working on my books) for doors to open. I had gone to a restaurant to apply for a bar tending job that I had heard about. I began talking with one of the customers and I said, "I want to go to the dentist in Mexico." He said that his dad goes there. He then gave me his number and I gave him a call. The next week I had an appointment in Nogales, Mexico for an exam and teeth cleaning for $20. How would I get there? No one down here will go to Mexico...really? I remembered I had a friend in Grass Valley who had a cousin who lived near Nogales, so I called and his cousin agreed to accompany this one time.

Everyone I talked to had nothing good to say, in fact, they were all pretty obstinate about Mexico period. As the morning arrived I had some errands to do. I looked at the clock when I left the house, 9:44: in angel numbers, 9=completion and 44=your angels are surrounding you. Great. I was intending to go on the freeway, the light changed, I went another way and discovered a family of crosses along side the road. I stopped and did a soul releasing ceremony. When I finished all my chores, I got back in the car, the clock caught my attention once again, 10:44. 10=new beginnings and once again the 44= angel support. Heading to Nogales, the song that came on the radio, 'I just called to say I loved you, by Stevie Wonder'. I looked at the time, 10:56, once again the 10 representing, new beginnings and the 56, stay focused on your internal spiritual growth among the changes that are coming your way. Getting closer to Nogales, I called the man accompanying me to Mexico and once again I noticed the time, because of the song that came on the radio; The Dance by Garth Brooks, I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance. The numbers, songs and words were all very meaningful and touching to me. I was perfectly calm to go to Mexico. I said my morning prayers for protection and taking love and light wherever I go and attracting only that for myself.

We went to Mexico and I had the most enchanting day. I loved being in another culture. It had brought back fond memories of being in Peru. When we left Mexico, there was absolutely no waiting line to cross the border back to the USA, as there had been when we arrive.

The angels are everywhere. All we have to do is to pay attention. Anything that comes into our awareness is Spirit trying to speak to us. Wind chimes, for me are the angels, Wind in the tops of the trees is Spirit. When you stop and tune-in you will recognize what these signs mean to you. We are not alone...we don't have to walk through this life by ourselves!

IT DOENS'T MATTER WHICH TRAIN YOU TAKE ON LIFE'S JOURNEY

Recently I had a phone conversation with a friend about his step daughter. She had a baby at a relatively young age, which now will certainly make life a bit more challenging from some perspectives and yet more exciting from others.

In my beginning to study Shamonic Astrology a bit deeper, what it really does is give everyone a valid place on the wheel of life as well as compassion for ourselves and others. The theory is that we all knew (Great Spirit did, to use the Native American word for God) before we came to earth what we each needed to learn in this life and who would accompany us on that journey. Sometimes the decisions that one may make on their path, another may look at and think... if only, or what a waste, if you had only done....The point is that while we are all on the road of life together, we all have different trails that we follow. Each personal journey is unique unto itself.

My friend was explaining to his step daughter that in big cities there are a couple of different options for train transportation. One being the regular train and the other the express. On the express, you get on at point A and ride the train all the way to point B without any stops. He made the analogy that, it's like when a person chooses to go to school and graduates and then gets a 'regular job.' But she had chosen to take the regular train, stopping many times before arriving to point B.

While I thought his analogy was good, I also thought that taking the regular train allowed for many more adventures and life experiences, which yes, definitely can translate to pain. However, it's in touching the hot stove that we know not to touch it again, or not! One of my favorite Garth Brooks songs comes to my mind...The Dance; I could have missed the pain, but then, I'd have had to miss the dance!

EDUCATION COMES IN MANY DIFFERENT PACKAGES

I am the biggest advocate of education coming in many disguises. Traditional 'education' (the classroom learning) is not always compatible with everyone's learning styles.

A while back I had an issue with the Verizon Air Card. For the whole 6 months that I had it, the bill remained the same. Then one month is went up $200! I spent many hours on the phone trying to understand what happened! One customer service representative took the time to explain to me what a mega bytes and gigga bytes were. (see I can't even spell them!) I was still very unhappy as all I had tried to do was download a free song from Starbuck's and something got stuck and my computer froze and wham....$200 later! What made me the maddest was that no one seemed to care.

I was complaining to my counselor about the money situation, when I noticed the words coming out of my mouth, "I consider it tuition for my education! Guess what will never happen to me again!" Her reply, "So you're wanting Verizon to pay for your education."

More recently, having a renter issue this came to roost again. I had to spend $100 serving papers to them because I hadn't been clear in my communications when they signed the rental agreement. I was angry, hurt and felt taken advantage of. Why am I the one who gets stuck with everything and they get off scott free? Why? Then I remembered Verizon. Because you have to pay for your education one way or another. Sometimes it's just the hard school of knocks that we learn our lessons the best from! So, after a good cry, I wrote an addendum to the original rental agreement, this time being very clear and specific in what I expected. Like I always say, "You get as many opportunities and as much pain as you need until you get the lesson!" You get all the time you need! (PS. the longer it takes to get the lesson, the more pain it seems to cause:) Get it now or get it later....it's up to you!

PAPA'S CHINO HOUSE

After receiving my graduation gift...a car! (Next blog) I was heading back to Arizona, but without a plan, (what else is new) and was just open to what 'felt right.' In the past few weeks, I had driven by the off ramp to my dad's property in Chino and each time I would tell who ever I was traveling with, "My dad used to live down there." But not once did I think to go by. Well, this trip, I found myself on the same freeway, however, this time I pulled off. I called my sister as I couldn't exactly remember the off ramp. I found it with ease and as I pulled up, I was happy to see it had a new face lift, new life! I sat across the street and marveled at the fact that I hadn't even seen the trees in the yard when my dad lived there. I pulled up to make a u-turn as to take some pictures and the song that came on the radio, Dance with my father again, by Luther Vandross. I sat and listened as the tears welled up in my eyes...Even after the years pass, when we pay attention, our loved ones are trying to get our attention from the other side. We are loved! (another picture below)

BACK ON THE GRID OF LIFE

You may have wondered or not:) why I haven't been blogging...I've been off the grid for a bit. Experiencing and processing. Since my last blog, visited a friend in AZ and took another Shamonic Astrology course. Then a friend from Ireland came for 2 weeks and we traveled to the Grand Canyon, Sedona, Kartchner Caverns, all in Arizona and then over to the California coast, Avila Beach, then back to LA. We had many adventures and met lots of people, including family and friends and had some extraordinary spiritual experiences. While I had a great time, I learned a lot as well. I ended this time with a 3 night stay in Laughlin, NV. I had just wanted some retreat time. (I assisted in several soul releases along the way.) I booked Harrah's on line for $27 a night. A beautiful room on the 17th floor with an incredible view of the Colorado River from my bed:) (Where I write) A lovely retreat space or fun spot either way! Lake Havasu was my next stop to see a former neighbor of mine and then to Green Valley, AZ where I'm putting the finishing touches on my first book, due to go to press Dec. 5.

HOLIDAY SANITY

The holidays are once again upon us. I know for myself as a young adult, I tried to bend myself around the plans of others. However, now much older and wiser:) I no longer feel like I need to do things that don't bring me joy, in order to make other people happy. By the way it's happiness from my perspective not theirs.

This holiday season perhaps you could 'check in' with yourself and ask the questions 'What would bring me joy and make me smile?' You may need to think outside the box a bit. It may feel a bit awkward at first. Holidays in my family traditionally were about our little children and our family of origin. It was a very happy time. But then things began to change as things always do. Children began to grow up, siblings moved and parents crossed over to the next life. So what are you supposed to do now? Take care of yourself, that's what! Decide what do you want to do for the holidays.....your imagination is the limit! After my life dramatically changed, I went to a wedding of a child of my close friend of mine. Of course I was a basket case. Another close friend said to me, "What in the hell were you thinking? You can't go to stuff like that right now! It will just make you feel bad about yourself!" He was correct! So the next wedding that I attended, I learned how to support others and still take care of myself...I arrived at the church just before everyone went inside (so everyone felt my love and support) and stood in the back of the church. After the bride walked in, I walked out. No one even missed me. So the point is...take care of yourself....do only what you can do with joy! Have fun! It's your life!

ANOINTING FROM BISHOP QUINN

Things are beginning to open up for me with the work of Evolve to Live. My first book is in its final editing stages and I did many healing sessions while I was in GV. I have been paying attention and reading the 'signs' of support. Among many little things that were signs for me, the most touching was that I was anointed by Bishop Quinn for service to God for the work that I do. Bishop Quinn has worked with the Indians for many years and so he understands and supports my healing modalities using feathers and stones. Because he believes in me and the ministry that I am doing, which requires a non-conventional life-style, being free to go where the doors open and my energy is needed, he made a donation to ETL. It was very touching for me. He acknowledged that my work was the same as a priest.

When I left Grass Valley for Arizona, the first two days, as usual, were transition days and my being unsettled and anxiousness began to appear. But this morning, I woke up at 1:11AM and then again at 5:55AM. I began laughing. "OK, thank you!" I looked up the meaning of 111 on the internet. "Pay attention to your thoughts." 3:33PM happened while I was in Grass Valley. "The Ascended Masters, Saints and Angels are with you." and then 555, "A big change is about to come your way!" Everything from finding 11cents on the ground, to the lyrics of songs, animals that cross our paths, really, anything that comes into our awareness is help from above. And I say, Thank you!

SUPPORT COMES IN MANY FORMS

On my recent trip to Grass Valley, I became obsessed with working as many jobs as came my way. I wasn't trusting that I would be supported when I left the area and so I worked continually 24/7, neglecting friends while I was there. On my last day, my last evening in fact, I was rushing to take a friend to a doctor's appointment that had been part of the trade for using her car. Not being fully present with what I was doing and because of my rushing, from trying to fit too much in to a little bit of time, I hit a car stopped at a stop sign. It didn't do alot of damage to either car, but enough to make me feel really bad and enough to wake me up! I took the car to my son who is going to begin school for auto bodywork and he was able to fix my friend's car on the spot. I had asked the lady I hit, if she would consider having my son look at her car before she turned a claim into the insurance company and she agreed.

Today, I got a phone call from my son. They brought the car by and the husband owns a hot rod body shop in a nearby town! He said, he needed side help all the time and if he did a good job on this, he'd give him a job....a job he was going to need when school begins. I just sat back, once again amazed at the orchestration that occurs for us, on our behalves when we can really are present to see them. I barely hit the car....no one was hurt....and of all the cars in Grass Valley, this is the one that I hit...

PUSHING AWAY DISTRACTIONS AND SAYING YES TO SELF

Learning self care and receiving are still 2 of the life theme's I continue to work on. Since I've been to Southern California, this trip, my intent was retreat time and the opportunity to go whale watching was intriguing to me...even though it's not whale season! I thought a boat ride for $15 was a bargain! (with a coupon)! A project job came my way which hadn't left much room for retreat time! My stay was coming to an end as Sunday rolled around. The day was beautiful. I had a friend visiting from up north and she was trying to get me to go with her to downtown LA, something I would have loved to do but another friend of hers decided to take her, freeing up some time for me before attending my niece's party. I missed the first boat and the next one was at 3PM, later than I had wanted to go. But, in keeping with the self care theme, I decided to go. I called, made a reservation and away to Newport Beach I went. I bought my ticket...with my discount coupon. As I waited for the boat to arrive, a young girl, in her twenties??? came to tell her friend with a very sad and disappointed look on her face, that they had given away her reservation! I said to her, "Honey, I was going to go by myself and I have a ticket you can buy, if you like." They were both most appreciative and asked me how much was the ticket....$30? Normally, I would have said "No, $15." But, as usual, I was down to my last few dollars, literally and I said, "Yes, thank you!." (WHO ORCHESTRATES THIS STUFF??? (I now have money for the week!) They were thrilled and I was thrilled too! I walked to the parking lot and there was 11 cents with a small bit of gum, wrapped in a piece of paper. I looked up and said, "Thank you! For me, 11 in angel numbers, is angel support. For me, the gum represented angel support sticking to me and the money I had said "yes "to, was because I had honored myself with self care. I followed my intuition to go to the water, even though I could have very easily talked myself out of it. I didn't actually need to be on the boat, just the drive to the beach and be in the restful energy of the sun, water, whale and dolphin! There was a little sign in a shop downtown that reads, "If you're lucky enough to be at the beach, then you're lucky enough! And I am!

PRACTICING PRESENCE EVERY DAY

My ex-brother-in-law came to see me while I was in Southern California. After our afternoon together he had the courage to ask, "Did you skip over some of your co-dependency work...intending to come back to it later?" I didn't think so, but I asked him for his observations. One of the things we talked about was how in AA, your walk through life is practicing living life each moment of the day. CoDa - codependency recovery is the same, learning a new way of living, which I recognized I needed to do. I still can work 24/7, it feels good and comforting to me, but to carve out time for me...not that interesting, well, not that familiar. So when the depression set in, I made a list of how I was going to spend the rest of the day. It included exercising, I choose NIA Dance and a walk to the beach...and in the water. This was a great improvement for me as I didn't just EAT! After our visit, I re-read the codependency characteristics and recognized there were a few more that needed healing. In the meantime, I'll make a list and do some unfamiliar things in my daily routine, exercise and meditation we'll begin with!

SOMETIMES I FLY LIKE AN EAGLE & SOMETIMES I'M DEEP IN DESPAIR!

Here I am, alone at the beautiful beach and depression begins to rear it's ugly head once again. You may ask yourself...as I ask myself....what in the heck do you have to be depressed about? The answer comes....I'm alone with me....again! When I give myself the space, last little bits of unsettledness begin to emerge and I'm stuck with just myself and my pity party! Quick...how do I make this uncomfortableness go away? Diversion of course! No car...well a car with a bad transmission...it'll be ok...I'll just go......around the corner! Driving always makes me feel better....until a sharp jolt wakes me up....it's the transmission! 'You need to stay in your uncomfortableness,' and recognize what the feels of loneliness and anxiety are all about for the healing to begin. I'm reminded of the John Denver song....Looking for Space....'Sometimes I fly like an eagle and sometimes I'm deep in despair! That's it...that's life....it the journey...it's the up's and down's, and the down's that help me to appreciate the up's!

DOLPHIN ENERGY FOR MOVING FORWARD IN LIFE

I just arrived at the next destination on my itinerary, Huntington Beach, CA. The first 2 days had been overcast and as I was settling in, I made a conscious decision not to go to the beach. Finally today, the sun was out and about noon I started out the door. I got as far as the house next door but turned around and came back, deciding to go this evening, for no particular reason. Evening came and I headed for the pier, along with a mob of other people as it was the downtown open market. I walked to the end of the pier and looked out into the sunset and there they were...the fins gliding through the water! The dolphin! They had come to see me! (Evidently a rather rare occurrence) Certainly they came to see everyone, but for me, they had a special meaning. I had been initiated in Hawaii by the dolphin. When I returned home, I got a credit card in the mail for Evolve to Live with a dolphin on it. Then finally, my last trip to Chicago, I acquired my first tattoo...a dolphin. The dolphin for me have been a sign of spiritual support in my life that I'm happy to receive!

PEOPLE FIRST; THEN MONEY; THEN THINGS

My friend has a visitor from South Dakota and one morning I arrived early to drop something off. Her visitor came to the car and asked would I come in for breakfast. "No, Thank you," I replied, "I'm on my way to exercise class," and with that, I was off! Well, at least until I got down the road a bit and then something inside me remembered something I had heard Suzie Orman, (a financial guru) speak about, "People first, then money, then things!" I turned the car around and went back and apologized! "I'm so sorry," I began. "I nearly forgot...People first! I was happy that I had made the decision to spend time with my friend's....friend! Because in the end....when we leave this world we only take the love of our family and friends....everything else is left behind! People first, then money....then things!

A GIFT FROM THE SOUR CHERRY TREE

Recently, while I was in Grass Valley, I had the honor of working on an organic farm. It was the middle of July, hot and dry. I was working at the U-Pick site and in between avid pickers, I would pick fruit for the stand. My assignment this day was to pick from the sour cherry trees.

I strapped my picking bucket ( a shallow 1/2 circle plastic bucket) around my head, resting on my stomach and headed off to the dwarf sour cherry trees, which actually looked more like very tall bushes, (way over my head).

I noticed that up close, the cherry trees were the cherries I had always seen depicted in pictures. Their bright red color reminded me of Christmas! I began as I always do, with an introduction of myself, complimenting the tree on it's beauty (just as you would a friend), asking permission (simply showing respect) and always in gratitude for the sacred honor of being totally connected with part of creation.

The sun was very hot and so I moved inside of the tree I was completely surrounded by the branches. It felt like I was being caressed in the arms of a lover, protected from the sun, basking in the gentle breeze (spirit) that gently rustled through the branches and I was feeling protected, safe and loved. The cherries can be quite sticky, especially when the pit is occasionally left behind but it wasn't a 'sticky' I was wanting to get off in a hurry, it seemed important to savor entirely what the tree was offering.

While the tree was providing all the above mentioned gifts to me, I realized that I too was providing a gift to the tree. I was helping to lighten its load. Some of the branches were so full of cherries they were a strain on the branches. My time alone with the sour cherry tree was truly intimate encounter and a sacred honoring on both sides.

After my first day working on the organic farm, it was very clear that I had a Spiritual Encounter with the Divine right in the middle of everyday living.

BEING CONNECTED

It was while I was on my second trip to Ireland that I became fully conscious of the food I was eating. At the family's house that I was staying at, they had a very small refrigerator compared to what I had been used to in the states...something we may find in a recreational vehicle. So shopping was not a once a week excursion. Everything was bought locally from the little village. Bread was bought at the bakery, meat at the butcher shop, fish from the fresh fish shop, fruit and vegetables were purchased at the local farm stand and everything else came from the neighborhood market.

'Living in the moment,' was the norm. I came away with a new appreciation of the food and products I was consuming. When you purchase your fish with the head still attached and the eyes still open, it became a sacred exchange of awareness and gratitude, for me. I became aware of the life that had been sacrificed for my health and well-being and of another and gratitude followed; that another creature would sacrifice their life for me.

I became aware and present with everything I bought and put in my mouth. Remembering the grace that we offered before dinner as a child, all stages of nourishment, now, became a prayer.

TRAVEL TO CHICAGO; THUNDERSTORMS AND FLOODING

Leaving after a month is Grass Valley, CA, I was heading back east, feeling like I wanted to visit my relatives, once last time....once last time before what? Before the "J" word! You don't mean 'job' do you? Yes, it feels like the time is coming close for the end of my "Year in a Suitcase!" Certainly, the year, logistically is over, but I'm living in the 'Second Half of Life,' and it just didn't 'feel' like the year is up! So I packed my bags, adding one larger suitcase to my normal backpack and 22" carry-on and headed to Chicago, via Kansas and Missouri. I had a lovely visit with my brother/ cousin and families. For my short flight to Milwaukee, I decided that I would check my baggage, after all, it's just an hour, non-stop flight....what could possibly happen to my baggage? Flooding and thunderstorms, that's what! My flight was due to leave at 8:40PM and by midnight they had decided to detour the plane to Chicago where we could catch a flight the next morning to Milwaukee. (I was to fly to Milwaukee where my daughter had a basketball camp.) I at least had a sweater and shawl, oh, and of course my pillow, in my back pack and so I slept on the floor of Midway Airport in Chicago. 5AM announcement, "We'll let you know at 7:30AM when the Milwaukee airport will re-open! Now, it's time to take matters into my own hands! At least I was in Chicago and could get public transportation to my daughter's house, even if she wasn't there! The 'el' began to run again after closing down at midnight. So I hopped on the 'el,' to downtown, where I had to find the Metra rail train, (not so easy, however a lovely time to be in downtown Chicago), and took the hour plus train ride to the suburbs. When I arrived, it was pouring rain, so I treated myself to a 5 mile cab ride! Now there was a point to why I was telling this story....oh yes....while I made it to Chicago, my luggage spent the week in Milwaukee, and just arrived via Fed EX, 6 days after my journey had begun! The moral of the story....I never check my bag....but it did lead to an adventure!

EVERYTHING IN MODERATION; THE DOSE MAKES THE POISON!

I just rented the Riverbend Retreat House so I could continue my journey of A YEAR IN A SUITCASE! I would have said, I own, very little...a half dozen boxes or so...I remembered back to when I had lived for a year at the beach in LA and arrived with absolutely nothing and left with a toyota truck...loaded to the brim...so much STUFF...I couldn't even find room for a soda for the 10 hour drive up north! Well, once again, having to get rid of the few (:-) things I had in the garage, I realized how our STUFF keeps us in bondage. When I left a year ago, I had put a few things in the garage and while moving the things yesterday, opening each box..."I can't get rid of...." I remembered how much time and energy just having these bits and pieces have taken! I had to have someone go to the garage and reorganize, put plastic down, cover the things in plastic in case the garage leaked, hunt for things I asked, reorganize again, make room for other treasures and now...my apparent 'nothing' fills another toyota truck! So now, carrying nothing, to the truck, loading nothing into the truck, carrying nothing into the house and resorting nothing is simply exhausting! It's stealing my energy...literally! I help others with organization and I can actually see when someone is ready to clear STUFF from their lives. New opportunities open up for them. Having too much STUFF, blocks the flow of energy. STUFF takes up space! It stifles creativity, blocks the flow of money and we can feel stuck! While it is hard to let go of some last bits and pieces the criteria that I will be using..."Can I get it again?" If the answer is yes, then it's going! Too much of anything is what makes it off balance! I want to move forward in prosperity and so I'm leaving my STUFF behind!

THE MOST TOUCHING THING THAT HAPPENED IN IRELAND

Recently I was remembering back to my last Ireland trip. My friend had picked me up at the airport and we had stopped for tea at his friend's house. We were all seated around the table and his 4 year old son had joined us in the room. He eventually worked his way towards me and it appeared to me that he wanted to get by, behind my chair. I asked him, could I scoot my chair forward so that he could get around me. His reply, "I just wanted to touch you!" On a physical level, I would have just thought, I was so different than anyone he had ever seen. I had just arrived to Ireland from Hawaii, so I had a tan, (the sun is something Ireland doesn't see a lot of!) I talked differently as well. But on a soul level, I took his words as that he 'saw' me. He knew who I was on a soul level, he saw who I was created to be! Children are so close to the spirit world, they're so innocent in their experiences. I love watching them play...are their friends really imaginary

(The picture is the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland County Clare where I believe that my mother's family is from.) Next blog: How it takes only 4 hrs to fly from Chicago to San Fran and 6 hours to travel by public transportation from SFO to Roseville! Go figure!

A Horse is a Horse....

Pretty cute and innocent looking...don't you think? My daughter and I were getting ready to take her horses for a camping trip and trail ride this past weekend. As I was leading the black horse back to the stall, minding my own business, when out of no where the young brown buck, was standing next to me and Wap! I'd been shot! Or so I thought! It all happened so fast. I had no idea what had happened! In his playfulness he did a little buck and kicked me in the chest! OUCH!

I went inside to catch my breath and I began thinking back on my memories of horses in my life. The first time I rode a horse, we had rented one for an hour and I was walked to the fence and then dumped off, on the other side! Memory 2. It was my birthday and my ex- husband (you'll see why in a minute:) took my eldest daughter shopping for a birthday present for me and came home with a pony for her! She got the pony, I got more work! We had several more horses and I decided to buy a horse of my very own! I had been sick and had taken a couple of benadryl, which made my head foggy. I said yes to buying this horse named Fire...can you imagine! Fire....his name and how he behaved! And then now, my 3rd memory; getting kicked in the chest! Well, no wonder I'm a bit apprehensive at times around these beautiful creatures. Just when I thought we had an understanding between us, the horses and myself, they didn't hurt me and I let them out on the pasture to graze we'll have to start back at square one! Respect! R-E-S-P-E-C-T...(Aretha Franklin style!)

Part 8 Inca Trail THE JOURNEY ENDS!

OK! Finally! We're done! 5:30AM, we walked to the bus for the ride to Machu Picchu for the hike up to the top of Waynapicchu . As you can see the stairs were very narrow. It was foggy which was a blessing for me...I didn't like seeing straight down...my son made it to the top in 1/2 hr! Me, it was an hour, but I made it! It was so much easier that the Inca trail. It was cooler, I wasn't carrying a backpack, I wasn't trying to keep up with a group, don't get me wrong, it was still hard and I still had nothing to eat since we started this trek and I was using up alot of energy! I got to the top, went through a cave, I was later to find out was called the 'moon cave,' came out the top (dying and rebirth) and instantly began the climb down. For me, it wasn't about arriving; it was about the journey! It was about "Anything is possible!" If you know what Waynapicchu is in your life...you can climb it! You CAN get to the top! If you have a goal, you can reach it! You simply take baby steps, rest, ask and receive support...ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

Part 7 - The Inca Trail

The question has been asked? Did I get a t-shirt for making this trek? NO! But what I did get was this incredible view....the last one in Machu Picchu at night. Pretty incredible. As I was trying to keep up with the tour guide as he was running down the trail, in the near dark to try and make the bus, I was consciously trying to place my feet on the stones paving the path so as not to twist an ankle. One last stop and my picture was taken overlooking Machu Picchu. I arrived...the last on the bus and I sat next to my son. I was exhausted; emotionally & physically. Tears began to roll down my cheeks. I tried to tell him about my rush to try and make the bus, but I had to stop...I said, "I can't talk about this right now, there's not enough oxygen to cry!" There was not enough oxygen to take a breath in. We arrived at our hostel and had a meeting for the next day. My son wanted to climb Waynapicchu....you see...that really big mountain in the background! Not one other person on the tour wanted to go! After taking 4 extra strength tylenol so I could move....I asked the question...."Do you think I could make it?" The guide looked at me and said, "Anything is possible!" So dinner, which I didn't eat...still not feeling well...sleep and up at 5:30AM to be one of the first 400 to climb Waynapicchu!

Part 6 - The Inca Trail

OK, no wonder I'm so tired! Intipuncu or Intipunku is an Incan Trail connected to Machu Picchu. The term translates as "Gate of the Sun" or "Gateway of the Sun., Wikipedia called it a trail, but it definitely had lots of stairs! It was the last of the 3 Inca ruins on this part of the trail and 8,692 feet high! That's higher than the pass over Donner Summit which is about 7,000 feet high! While on the trail, we had gone through several micro climates including a rain forest which is why all the orchids were growing along parts of the trail. The picture on the left...the last set of stairs. that I was to "hurry up" and climb....and then crossing to the back side of the mountain, was the Gateway of the Sun which then leads down....yes! I did say 'down!' a path to Machu Picchu. It was getting dark and my guide and I were the last two on the trail. I drug myself up a few steps then rested, a few more...then rested....I did that until I reached the top. My body was really feeling the no fuel to run on. It was beginning to get dark, and I was trying to hurry! OMG, what if the bus didn't wait! We'd have to walk all the way back to the little town that we were to spend the night at. As I crossed over the last step to the other side of the mountain, there it was, Machu Picchu! The pictures on the right above are what it looks like from the top of Intipunku.

Part 5 - The Inca Trail Saga Continues

The pictures in the previous post. My guide kept taking pictures of me at various points...something I typically would never let happen...however...I wanted to have proof of the last point I was known to still be alive...so I agreed! In one of the pictures, my guide is pointing across the mountain....see the little clearing....waaaaayyyy over, near the top of the mountain? Well, that's the next destination! The Inca's used terracing for planting and living on the side of the mountains.

After reaching the top of the ruins, we went thru the hostel for hikers and there was a security check point station. They don't let anyone go alone past that point and your group has to remain together! Group? What group? Our other guide was waiting at the security check point so my guide and I could continue on. The trail was now flat and I was making time! Well, as good as quickly as a person can go with no fuel in their body and being dehydrated! I began to feel very weak. Eat something! What? I threw out everything! Oh, except the beef jerky...protein. I sat on a rock in the shade and opened the bag....I put a piece in my mouth and began to chew....and chew and spit it out! Hot! It was peppered! I was already hot and exhausted! A sip of water and another 2 hours. I found myself alone on the trail for about an hour and my mind began to wander..."You are all alone on a trail, in Peru, miles from anywhere! Right before I arrived in Peru, the mother of my daughter's, friend kept telling me all the 'bad' things that can happen. I explained to her, that I was going, and I didn't want to hear about any bad things that can happen while traveling in a foreign country. Nevertheless, my mind began to wander. Was my guide going to catch up with me? Was the security station where he was stopping? Does the trail have sub trails? Am I going to get lost? I brought myself back to the moment. I knew on a spiritual level that it was no accident that I had been left alone. I began to pray and listen and watch what was around me. Come to find out, my son was alone on the trail during the same time. More walking, my guide did show up...with the information; "We've got to hurry... we have to meet the bus at 5:30! Hurry??? What in the heck? I am hurrying...it looks like slow motion, granted...but nevertheless...I'm going as fast as I could!

Part 5 - The Inca Trail Saga Continues

Part 4 The Inca Trail

I still wondered how I was going to make it uphill to the first ruin, let alone climb the steps to the top of the ruin. Since my back pack was waiting for me at the rest place, I had to figure out something. I'd have to lighten my load. What in my back pack could I let go of? Was leaving things along side of the trail considered littering? Well, after another 10 minutes in the heat, it didn't matter, things had to go! What could I let go of? Well, the apples they gave us were the heaviest and I was sick to my stomach, (altitude and heat and as I look back dehydration) the apples, bananas, cookies and crackers all were left at the side of the trail. I said a prayer, that someone was going to come along and be really grateful to have them! More minutes, more rests, more sips of water....what else can I let go of? The sunscreen. We'd already put it on, it was a big heavy tube....bye, bye. A few more minutes, there's got to be more...Pati, can't you let go of the rest of the food you brought? Fine! But not the beef jerky! It was light and it was protein. Crackers, nuts, etc...left on the side of the trail. Well, certainly it's not raining, the poncho was the next to leave. Well, it worked, the back pack was lighter. More stops, resting in the shade of the bushes and more sips of water. (So far, I hadn't even gone through (1) 12 ounce bottle. More praying and I was at the first ruin. OMG, you want me to climb where? Counting 1,2,3...come on Pati, 10 steps and then you can rest! Then 10 more, and 10 more and Whew! I'm at the top. I'm sick....there's a camping hostel for a short potty break, another sip of water and keep on truckin'.

still uphill to our first ruin still more uphill to the second.

Part 3 THE INCA TRAIL

Bringing up the rear of the pack does have it's advantages, if you can let your ego go! I really had a personal tour guide and needing to stop every few minutes, I was able to see and experience the trail in a way that wouldn't have been possible, had I just been able to keep up with the pack. I reached the first official rest spot and guess what was waiting for me? Yep, my back pack! Crap! I was unable to eat or drink, just taking sips of water to wet my mouth at each rest. My guide showed me the first ruin we would be getting to (the picture on the right) and yes, those are stairs....all the way to the top! I can barely walk the trail, how in the heck am I going to climb those stairs?