Monday, December 23

Who will you be when you realize you weren't who you thought you were?

Who will you be when you realize you weren't who you thought you were? 

No longer are you child, mother, father, sibling…whatever used to define you. 

One day I woke up and discovered that I had been fired from being a mother, my children had grown up!  Certainly to some degree, I'll always be that, but I really shifted from the mother role to a peer role with my children. 

It took a lot of counseling and conscious work to make this shift and though I still struggle with it at times, I've come to use the following two questions in wanting to support but not live their lives. When they come to me with a question or need, I simply use these questions that I learned from crashing my dad's van in a snow storm. "Are you okay? and What can I do to help you?" 

This gives the other, (no matter the age) not only support and encouragement to live their life, but it also allows them the dignity of making their own choices. 

The question for us then becomes: Who and what am I going to do with all the free time I'm going to have? Think back and try to remember What makes you smile and what brings you joy? 
Hint: It can't be someone or something else. Happy Hunting! 

Thursday, December 19

ACTION IS REQUIRED TO MOVE THROUGH FEAR

Especially during this holiday season, fear of meeting others and going to parties with people who are unfamiliar, can bring a bit of anxiety with it. 

John Lennon said it well in the quote below, but to summarize, 
We should love ourselves and accept who we are, who we were created to me with love and compassion, we can begin to stop comparing ourselves with others. 

Once we accept that we are not better or worse, prettier or not prettier, skinnier or fatter than anyone else; that we are all created as unique individuals and we are all at different places on the path of life. Perhaps then we will free ourselves from paralyzing fear and take action; Saying YES to life and going to places that we've been invited with the curiosity and fun nature of a child.

For me recently, as my new job I was invited to a Bond-Fire for the team I work with. I accepted, I went, but didn't go inside. When asked what happened to me, I told the story and said, "Next time I plan to go in!" And I did and it was good. 

Perhaps this Holiday Season, you too may decide to move through fear and begin embracing and celebrating life, no matter how it looks for you. 

The choice is ours and ours alone.

Live, Live, Live, Life is a banquet and 
most poor souls are starving!!! 
Auntie Mamme

Sunday, December 15

ASK THE QUESTION

Transition back into a normal lifestyle…whatever normal is…has been a bit challenging for me after living my alternative lifestyle for over five years. 

One of the main challenges is making ends meet, just like millions of americans. After I had been in my new apartment for a couple of months, I realized that what I brought in didn't cover what was going out. So one day, I took a day and reviewed the situation and decided to Ask The Question.

The electric company had wanted a $225 deposit and the gas company wanted $70. After discussing the situation with a neighbor, I called and asked the question; Could I get the deposits waived? Simply by asking the question, they both were removed.

Next on the list, cable/internet. I had signed up for it when I was in deep depression, but basic cable is like not having television at all and it was $70. So, I took the box back and spent the next hour on the phone but the bill was waived. 

Lastly in this series, the bank had charged a $34 overdraft fee and I used the same technique. I simply asked the question. 

I make $12 an hour and I would have had to work 28 hours before taxes to pay these charges. Simply by Asking the Question, I was able to make a positive difference in my budget. 

Don't shy away, be bold and ASK THE QUESTION!