Wednesday, August 31

2016 Summer Tour of Hope - Conscious Living

As a Personal Transition Specialist, I support others in their journeys to move forward in their lives.
Every situation, without exception, I use as a mirror for personal reflection. How can I improve for myself?

I had a spiritual director say to me years ago, "Pati, if you're going to resist every change that comes into your life, you may as well check out, because you're done! This life is about growth, evolution."

I do not take lightly the trust that clients give me. I try to honor each person's journey as uniquely theirs without judgement, knowing that we all have different chosen paths in this life. And I am filled with deep gratitude that I'm allowed to be a part of their sacred journey. 

Most recently I am working with a client who is making a life change. While supporting their journey, I have also asked myself, how can I use their situation to further my own path of growth. So I took a look my life and asked myself, "Where can I grow?" I decided to take a new look at my codependency issues. I also asked myself, "In light of my client's journey, can I also make a lifestyle change that would be beneficial to my evolution?" 

It may sound trivial, but it's a big addiction for me. Coke! Why? It... like most addictions... has an emotional element. For me... it's a reward. "If I clean... I deserve a coke... if I'm working outside... I deserve a coke... a road trip... fun time... I deserve a coke! So would my life be better without coke? I've been told that I have Adult ADD and I self medicate with coke. So would I be better without coke? I don't know!

But I do know that I will be a better person for consciously making decisions in my life. And so for now, in support of the bravery involved of what my client is claiming for themselves, I shall too claim for myself... A new beginning in every moment and for this moment, I choose to be coke free:)

A doctor said to me about my husband's stroke...

He will only get as better as he is willing admit to needing help!

And it's applicable in my life as well. I will only get as better as I am willing to need help.  I have support resources in my life and that's what I've chosen to do for my life's work, a Personal Transition Specialist. Feel free to contact me if you're in need of support or an empathetic ear!. 





Tuesday, August 30

2016 Summer Tour of Hope - Stuff (Part 2)

We left off last blog with my realizing that while my 22" suitcase held nearly everything that I owned, there was nothing in it that I could remember.

I'm on this tour with my 22" suitcase of my clothes for the next 4-6 months and I've not even used anything from the suitcase. I have a smaller tote to take into where I'm staying and that's all the stuff that I've used so far... and I'm well into over two months into the tour.

Do we surround ourselves with stuff because we think more is better? Because it is a status symbol. Because we can't stand to have empty space around? It's the empty space that makes room for us to feel. We surround ourselves with stuff so we don't have to feel?

Because we can't let go of the past? We're afraid of the future? It was..."Mom's, Dad's, Joe made it, Sue gave it to me... fill in the blank. You're actually saying that others are more important than you're sanity.

Because it feels like love? We can rationalize, I deserve it!

Because its a DEAL? You can always find deals! Guaranteed... Stay out of the stores...  While in Grass Valley, CA, I noticed how many new thrift stores that have popped up since I was last here. Why? Because as a society have so much STUFF and people will pay money for what they think is a bargain! Where do we place ourselves on sale? I say to my clients,  "If you NEED something, and you know how you're going to use it... and you know where its going to live in your home and you're willing to go into a high-end store and pay full price for it... then buy it!"

Because we don't trust that we will be provided for?  I may need it someday! However when the day comes, it's old, it's rusted, you can't find it.

When we have to carry, pack and haul our own stuff, quickly we can see what is really important. I spent two years traveling without a car and two years with and it was much easier to travel with just a 22" suitcase and backpack then it was a car. Why? Because in a car you can always add more stuff! In a suitcase, it fits or it doesn't. If it doesn't, you leave it behind!

There's no judgement. It's simply an observation. And I know from the work ETL does, that folks aren't ready until they're ready. It's been true in my own personal journey. It's just interesting to me how many people on the 2016 Summer of Hope Tour are dealing or not dealing with their stuff!

Monday, August 29

2016 ETL Summer Tour of Hope - STUFF (Part 1)

Holy moly! Like in the movie, Hello, my name is Doris, I'm noticing on my tour that people and THEIR STUFF continue to have an off balance relationships with each other. Why is that?

A client and her sister are being swallowed alive by trying to merge their separate life times of stuff into one living space! Slowly but surely they just keep plugging away and they're getting things situated. They're very inspiring!

I just received an email from a former tenant who has been trying to get back into the house after several weeks to get a box of stuff that she left. Really? And another tenant still has stuff in the work shed that was supposed to have moved a month ago. It's been hauled from Point A to Point B, C, D and E... and each time not only does it cost money, it costs time and emotions. How secure is it? Whose going to steal it, break it or use it? It's exhausting!

What in the hell is the hold that keeps us attached, worried about and stressed over our stuff? Why do we have this unbalanced relationship with objects! What are we searching for? Why are we willing to spend so much money and energy on stuff? Stuff that will eventually end up in the land fill or someone else's garage. And yet it still holds us hostage.

I hear this story over and over again, "When my parent's died, I threw everything away." I know it was true for me when I settled my dad's estate. He had soooo much STUFF! So much that it was too overwhelming to deal with. So much that while he had paid money for it, I had to pay money to get rid of it!

In 2009 when I left for what became the book A Year in a Suitcase,  I had left everything that I owned in my 22" suitcase at the ranch of one of my daughter's friends, except my backpack that I took with me, while delivering horses to Chicago. On the way home, there was a fire in the area where my suitcase had been left and we weren't allowed back to the ranch for several days. After my original, "OH NO! My suitcase!"f Not even thinking of everything else that was at stake for others. After all... it was MY SUITCASE and it literally held nearly everything that I owned. Finally, I realized that while it held everything that I owned there was nothing that I could remember. That's how important all my stuff was.

My suitcase held all that I owned
 and yet nothing that I could remember!

(To Be Continued)


Sunday, August 28

2016 Summer of Hope Tour - Joy in San Fran

Spending the day in San Francisco, I witnessed more joy in two men in wheelchairs than I've seen in anyone since I began the tour two months ago. One black man, (is that okay to say?) in his wheelchair had the biggest smile and sparkle in his eyes that was simply contagious. He brightened my whole day! It was worth fighting all the traffic to see! Well, that may be stretching it a bit, but he definitely was raising the energetic vibration around him.

Then, just a bit further up the road I could hear reggae music and here came another black man dressed all in blue bobbing up and down to the music that he was playing from his electric scooter. It was interesting to watch as he drove by, people began to smile and bounce to the beat.

One could only wonder what these two men had to be so happy about. Both in wheelchairs and both effecting those around them for the positive. And both HAVING A GRAND TIME!

Happy fun!!

Monday, August 15

THE HEALER - House boat - Who saved who? (Part 2)

By now, The Healer, had taken on so much water that she was tipped at a 45 degree angle and the propeller was out completely out of the water. It felt like we were on a submarine... dive... dive....

Once the propeller was out of the water time seemed to stand still. There was an eerie quiet that filled the space. For a hot second it felt like we had lost her. With my friend still at the helm, I begin yelling for her to grab my hand. The water was now up to her chest and all of the kitchen drawers were open and blocking her in. Finally... for whatever reason, she was able to leave the helm and tried to pull herself free. And just then... the miracle... everything began to shift... things no longer seemed hopeless. With everyone on the side and a rope tied to a boat, she began to return upright. For me it was clear... "Oh hell no... this girl's not going down on our watch!"

We were now surrounded by many boaters asking what they could do to help. And in the end, we tied her to land for the night and we were all transported back to the marina.

The experience and potiental healing for each was of course different. There were many little nuances. One in our party said, that a song that we had been playing on our way to the marina came to his mind... sometimes staring death in the face takes its power away.

The boys... got a new sense of self esteem... "We can conquer anything", they told me. WE ARE STRONGER THAN WE THINK! (One of the boys went on the following weekend to place first in his heat at the Junior Olympics.)

The ship's captain... I saw it as an opportunity to show all the nay sayers that she instinctively knew that The Healer had to been taken out to find out that the pontoons had many small pinhole leaks in them, something no one would have known had we not all been on board. I could see that she had been able to stand in her power and strength and say upon our return, "This is my ship and I know what is best for us!" I think my friend is so courageous and from my perspective, The Healer helped to heal what many of us woman struggle with, insecurity... "Did I do it right? Did I listen to my intuition and do what I knew was right for me, rather than listen to the opinions of others?"

And me, I was so grateful to be apart of The Healer's Maiden Voyage with my friend and family. Of course I see the hand of The Divine in everything and for me it was the challenge of, "Oh hell no... she's not going down on our watch! We were a hand picked team of survivors who were not going to give up so easily!"



Friday, August 12

THE HEALER - House boat.... Who saved who?


Words Matter. Words having meaning... intention.

My friend's houseboat had been named The Healer when it had its recent remodel. From my experience I could have told you that extraordinary things would be happening with such a powerful name.

The Healer had been bought about five years ago and out of the water for the past four awaiting her face lift. The weekend I came into town she had just recently been launched. So the next weekend, my friend, her sister and I spent the weekend onboard cleaning and organizing while the marina crew was putting on the finishing touches for her maiden voyage. The following weekend, two of my children and their families were in town and we were privileged to be her first passengers.

All excited for the adventure, five adults, two - eleven year old boys and one - seven month old baby girl, along with all our stuff, that spending the afternoon on a boat would entail, boarded the small water vessel. Last minute adjustments were made from the crew and we were underway. With my friend at the helm, we backed out of our slip, turned around and we were off.

Cruising at slow speed out of the marina, all was well. But as soon as we got onto the open water, the least little wake from the ski boats would send water up and over the bow. We weren't really sure why, but we made the necessary weight adjustments by scattering to different parts of the boat. The next wake came and it was so powerful we lost a lot of items to the water. "Run to the back!" came the command and when we did, the engine sat so low in the water it shorted out. The boys eventually got it running again and we puttered ourselves to the nearest cove for an afternoon of splashing around.

Time to pack up and head back... yep... the motor wouldn't start. The boys shifted some batteries around and we were off. In the meantime the crew from the dock had been called and had taken the baby and mama onboard as a precaution. The next wake that came washed everything on the boat through the cabin,out the back and into the water. Then a wave washed over the back and the next command came, "Kid's, jump off! Everyone else, all hands on deck, port side! Sit back and PULL!!!"

What were the secret fears each person brought along that day? They were soon to be revealed as The Healer lived up to her name! (to be continued)




Sunday, August 7

Half Dome - 19 Hours Later - We did it! (Part 3)

You may remember from the last blog that Kansas joined our group and with Half Dome in sight, I stood evaluating the situation with my knee. We had to go down before we climbed up the other side to Half Dome. Not only was my knee painful, I knew that I had to also make it back and so with some sadness and disappointment, I chose not to continue. But I did wonder, was any of this caused by fear? After all, Half Dome is a BIG mountain! And I had to wonder, "Was I afraid of other BIG mountains in my life?"
Skellings Michael in Ireland

"But what about hiking Skellings Michael in Ireland?" I began rationalizing with myself. "Doesn't that count for any accomplishment? I know, it's just a large bump of land in the middle of the ocean but it also had a billon stairs and no trees or railings to the top. Okay, Skelligs is only 714 feet abouve sea level and there are only 618 steps not a billon, and it was only 7 miles through what can be rough waters. But you did it even though all your Irish friends said, 'You can't go! It's too dangerous!' You courageously rode the small boat out through the choppy waters and hiked fearlessly to the top. How much scarier could Half Dome be? So could it be fear? I don't think so. It's my knee! It's honoring what my body is telling me without any judgments. Now that's the harder journey!"

More meds for my knee and the group was off and I was left to deal with my hurt pride.  However, a real rest and not feeling the pressure of having to keep up, felt nice. After a bit, all the meds began to make my knee less painful and I said to myself, "Self, you're not stopping here... you're going to go as far as you can go... this time." And so I hiked down the hill and up on the other side to the bottom of Sub Dome. After listening to my story, the ranger, who was checking for permits, said to me, "You can't hike Sub Dome with your knee... it's all stairs!" And of course, I had given my spot away, so there you have it... Divine Order!

My gal pals were having their own adventure. They climbed up the stairs at Sub Dome, then across to Half Dome and pulled themselves upward with the cables. Kansas, took the sweepers position in the group and followed everyone to the top. Exhausted, GI Jane felt like she couldn't go up or down and it was our little angel, Kansas who encouraged and coached her all the way to the top and back down again! Yes, literally... I believe that he was an angel, who arrived just at the time that this weary group of women needed to be supported by masculine energy.
GI Jane was taking the picture!

While waiting, I got what I needed.... rest in nature and solitude. I was able to talk with the people we had met on the trail all day long and privileged to hear their stories of triumph. I became the After Half Dome - designated picture taker. But most importantly, I felt like by my honoring my body, everyone got exactly what they needed! Kansas was beyond grateful for his experience, which was apparent from his hug and GI Jane had a victory that most likely wouldn't have been possible without Kansas! And me, I got to experience God in nature.

With the wise experience of GI Jane and her water purifier, we all made it back to the valley floor with my whining the entire way! The John Muir Trail... the trail never ending trail from hell! Switch back after switch back with no sign of noticeable progress descending. Eventually... 9PM we (me) hobbled back to our cars and I couldn't help but remember that we began this adventure at 3:30AM and it would be 10:30PM when we returned. 19Hours!

Are you kidding me? Who takes that long to he Half Dome? WE DID! Six courageous woman and one angel, all with our own individual experiences that we will never forget. And it is with awe and gratitude that I bow before each and every one for allowing me the honor of this sacred journey together.

And although I was ranting and raving the entire 8 miles DOWN, "I'm never doing this again.... blah, blah, blah.... " we had been taking ibuprofen during the hike, to help curb muscle swelling, so in the morning, we were all feeling pretty good. And as I popped up out of bed I exclaimed,  "OK... how can we make that better next time?"

Happy Trails...

Thursday, August 4

Hike to Half Dome (Part 2) Kansas, New Energy!

In my last blog, we left off where my gallon of water and food in my backpack were weighing me down and I was falling behind the group while climbing the billon steps to Half Dome. My little Sherpa Angel (my daughter) helped by carrying my pack on her front and her pack on her back part of the way. As a mom, it felt a bit out of order (ego), but as women on a journey together, I felt supported.

We continued the trek… the hares and the tortoise. While my gal pals seemed to sprint and then rest and refuel... I couldn't. So after getting my ego in check... again, I honored what my body was feeling. We continued to pass each other on the trail until about a mile or so from Sub Dome, when even the hares seemed to loose steam.

Then a miracle… We met Kansas. He was traveling alone and had hiked to Sub Dome but couldn't climb Half Dome because he didn't have a permit. My left knee (ego and pride) began hurting ALOT. Getting to the top was one thing, but I knew I had to hike the 8 miles back down. From the beginning, I was never sure that I was going to climb to the top of Half Dome, but on the other hand, I wasn't sure that I wasn't. I had no expectations. My reason for saying yes to the adventure had a little different flair than most. And I knew it from the first moment I set my foot upon the path in the very beginning.

There was alot of time for thinking and I remembered when my children were small we had a motorhome. We traveled… non-stop… from point A to point B. Finally, I had it with being a motorhome stewardess and said to my husband, "Do you suppose that we could enjoy the journey of getting there?"

That's what this trip was for me…. the journey, the experience, the spirit of it all. And from the very beginning, with the curiosity and trust of a child, I had wondered, "What mysteries would be revealed? What magic would happen along the way?"

We invited Kansas to join us back to the top and IF I didn't continue, he could take my spot. His male-supportiveness gave everyone a renewed energy to continue. He'd been to the top… he knew how far it was… his different persective kept our minds occupied until we turned the last bend to see close up… Sub Dome!! Holy Moly… there is an end to this trail!

To be Continued… One more part:)))