Wednesday, June 26

ON THE ROAD AGAIN!

I woke up this morning, knowing it's my last day in gorgeous San Diego! What happens....a pit in my stomach, a catch in my breath and a knowing that I'll be making a Shift  again.

It seems silly as I know where I'm going and what I'll be doing, so what's the anxiety about? It's not about the not knowing (which has been part of my journey so far) so what is it?

Don't know...do I care? Should I care? 

What I am grateful for is that wherever I am...is the most beautiful place ever...wherever that is! I guess that is living in the moment. Certainly I've stayed in less than lovely places, but there is always something special about where I am...the places, the people, the animals and situations I encounter.  

So while I do have my panty twisting...still...probably always will...I catch them earlier, allow myself to feel them and then breath through them. Then I come out the other side...sooner!

I left for Phoenix this morning and am sitting at the car dealer, waiting for my car to be serviced, (16,000 miles - 6 months old!) I'll be heading to Green Valley, AZ where I'll spend a day before heading to Mt. Lemmon, AZ. Happy Summer! 

I appreciate and love you..thank you for your support...





Tuesday, June 25

IS IT TRUE BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN?


A lady Clariol Blonde, A Silky Shinny Blonde.....Any one remember the commercials from the 60's, where the blonde is the only one having fun? 

If you ask me what color my hair is, I'd say light brown, even though I know it's blonde. I guess, I don't feel blonde....whatever feeling blonde feels like! I was born a towhead, grew up in southern California, where I spent my spare time either at the beach or swimming in our pool. (When I was younger my hair acquired a nice green tone to it, making me less blonde!)

It is true that about once a year I head for Newport Beach to have my blonde brightened and I do like being blonde. However recently I've been considering changing the color.

I am house sitting for a neighbor that I haven't seen in many years. When I arrived, she said, "You probably don't recognize me because I changed my hair color. She HAD and it was beautiful. It is a deep auburn red. 

When she told me why she changed it I started questioning my own hair color. She is a school teacher and consultant for remote school districts. She said once she changed her hair color, she was taken more seriously at her job and valued for what she brought to the table. 

I started reflecting back on comments I've heard from men about how they prefer blondes (not all men, just the ones I'm referring to here.) I wondered how people feel about blondes and Marilyn Monroe came to mind...A Blonde Bombshell! And Dumb Blonde jokes...it's all about looks and nothing else.

I know my hair color doesn't define who I am. But I'm ready for some kind of change., just not sure it's hair color. But I do know that something has to change for me. Its time!

So....I'm thinking about it! OMG! It's not brain surgery...it's hair color for Petesake! 

Friday, June 21

FOLLOWING THE FLOW - HAPPY SUMMER SOLSTICE!

Summer Solstice! The longest day of the year! Yahoo!!! (Well, in the Northern Hemisphere anyway!)

This morning I took the two dogs that I'm sitting with for a hike up the mountain behind the house I'm staying. (read more) It has a trail that leads to the big white cross that is lit up will lights all night.

The trail is quite steep and rocky in places. It brought me back to my Yuba River hiking days, and how I wouldn't look too far ahead when the trail was steep. I'd place my focus directly in front of me and eventually I'd make it to my destination, whether it be the end of the trail or out of a canyon.

I was going to write that sometimes goals aren't the answer, sometimes, you just need to let things flow, which went along with a recent astrology blog I read by Simone Butler. (read more)

But I realized that I did have a goal. It was to reach the end or the top of the trail. However, my focus was on what was directly in front of me and not the end result.

Usually, I'm watching and feeling for the flow of energy. That's what I'm doing for this week. If you remember, I put down all the have to's, and went to In and Out Hamburgers. Feeling a bit better than yesterday, I'm now ready to enjoy the week doing whatever/wherever the energetic flow takes me.  (Today, Dana Point!) 




Thursday, June 20

DEPRESSION...MAJOR CONTRACTION!

I just left Green Valley, AZ, where I will be housesitting on some very special land and lovely house for the summer. Yahoo! Yesterday, I was headed to San Diego to housesit for a week. I took a detour to Joshua Tree National Forest, someplace that I pass up every time I head west and yet have never made the effort to stop, even though it's been calling my name for sometime. This time, I did! (Another blog.)

After a yummy dinner with my sister's family in So Cal, I continued on south to San Diego. When I began the climb up the steep driveway I started laughing. You've got to be kidding! Another spectacular home, in the hills of San Diego, complete with view of the city lights and swimming pool and spa! Wow! Whose the lucky girl?

With things seemingly going smoothly, why am I depressed? So depressed that I deactivated my Facebook. Why? I use it as a diversion when I sit down to write....Hmmmm, let me see what's happened since the last time I logged on...and...it just makes me feel bad about myself. 

I read the Writer's Blog....before writing your book you should: Write an overview paper. Whose your target audience paper? Write an about you paper. Establish yourself as an authority. Whose work is yours like? Now, I'm just paralyzed. While it's all great information, I don't know any of the answers.

On Facebook, I get invitations to join this club and that webinar. Again, I just feel bad about me....why? I'm not doing it! They're all doing what they love...they're all making money, they're taking risks and they have friends. Not me:(  (Yes, it's a small pity party, but we're in the shadow of a retrograde, so there!)

Well, the bottom line is...I don't know who my target audience is. (Not that I haven't been trying to figure it out!) I don't know how I want to continue my next book and I don't know anything! 

The problem: I don't care about following people, who their friends are and what they ate yesterday. And I don't think anyone cares about that for me. I promote thinking for oneself, not following. 

Someday when I learn how to use social media, I will! Until then....I'm taking a week off! I'm not working and I'm not writing any in my book! (Even though my BFF and I have a date to compare books when I return to AZ. I'll just have to go empty handed!) 

What I know about contractions, is that there is a birth following! So for now...I'm going to enjoy this beautiful place and when the energy begins to flow again...I'll follow it...until then....Enjoy your summer! It's the official first day today:)))) Yahoo! 


Tuesday, June 18

Social Responsibility vs Loyalty

Living my unconventional lifestyle (for now), I've taken on some pretty random jobs. A couple of years ago, I found myself working at Fry's, a chain supermarket in AZ. I was hired on part time at $7.50 an hour. Twenty years previous, I worked for Von's (supermarket in CA) as a journeyman clerk and I was making $17.00 an hour.

I was working this job in order to help publish a book that I was writing at the time and living rent free because of my friend's generosity. It was very clear to me that a person living in the real world would not be able to live on this salary. I knew for myself that it was going to be short term, but what about the other people who had to live on these wages? How can they afford to live like this? What about health insurance? (I go to Mexico to get my teeth cleaned.)

My daughter was on an organic health kick at the time and was insisting that I buy organic. While I do agree with the philosophy, I couldn't justify the extra expense. I could buy a half gallon of juice at Wal-Mart for half the price as the local supermarket.

I was at a conference when I met Barb who was promoting social justice in all areas of life. I purchased a little book from her to help me understand what and who corporate villains were and why it was important not to support them.

I noticed that all of the companies that had taken a chance and given me a credit card after my bankruptcy were all corporate villains. (Companies that put profit over everything else.)

The dilemma for me...to stay loyal to these companies, after all they took a chance with me, or to close the accounts...sending a message of dissatisfaction with their business ethics.

Whatever one's beliefs are about the subject, becoming educated will help each of us to make better decisions on the companies and products that we support. 

Saturday, June 15

LIFE LESSONS ARE ALWAYS OURS

When we find the courage to practice clear-direct-communication, it's important to share what we're feeling, (not always that easy) remembering that the lessons in life are always OURS! 

A friend recently told me of her and her husband's willingness to work on their communication. Every time that he barbecued  hamburgers, she got hers opposite of what she had asked for. 

One night, he asked her if she wanted him to barbecue hamburgers. She calmly replied, "No, thank you!" He was puzzled. She explained that every time she got her hamburger, it was how she didn't like it. 

After many times, what she felt like saying was, "You stupid moron! Cook it like I asked!" But she was able to hold her tongue, take a deep breath and tell him how she was feeling.

"When you cook my hamburger exactly opposite of how I ask for it, it makes me feel, unimportant:  you don't care enough give me what I ask for and unheard: you are not listening to me."

When we are able to share how we're feeling, it takes the focus off of the other person and places it back on ourselves, exactly where it belongs!

Remember that the lessons are always ours! When we make it about the other person, we miss the teaching for ourself! 




Sunday, June 2

LETTING GO WITH CLEAR INTENTION

"Why you need to live in good weather don't you?" The words of an Irish Mystic that I saw during my four months in Ireland ran through my head this morning as I woke up in the Pacific Northwest to another day of clouds and drizzles.

Yes! Yes! I do need the sun! Finally, someone knows that besides me! Days without sun leave me nearly comatose. It seems the sun is up about 5:30AM and I'm not...and then when I'm up...the sun is not! I've been here in Vancouver, WA for the past two weeks and this has been the pattern.

However, I've come to appreciate the benefits of the light drizzle and last Monday was one. It was Memorial Day and we decided to drive to Bagby Hot Springs, in the Cascade Mountains at Mt. Hood.

Before we left, I picked up a book to take with me, The Way of the Shaman. A gentle reminder for me not to miss any part of the journey. Yes, we were going to enjoy the healing mineral water, but there was so much more to experience, if I'd just pay attention.

I'm pretty sure the drizzle is what kept the crowds away that day. When we arrived, there were quite a few cars, however we were rewarded with the secluded hot tub on the top being vacant. What's extra nice about these hot springs is the tubs are drainable after each use. (I know, that seems contrary to the places where water is an issue, but not here! The water flows freely, continuously! There is nothing to shut off!)

When we had finished our soak, I suggested that we do a releasing ceremony, leaving all of the burdens that we were carrying with us behind. The lightest drizzle continued as we all made a whirlpool with our hands. Then we all thought of the things that we wanted to let go of...anxiety, fear, pain, distrust, etc., and then placed our awareness on the swirling warm, healing water. With clear intention, we placed the things that we were willing to let go of, in the middle. We then let out the plug and along with the vortex of water, they all went swirling down the drain.

Just then the rain picked up noticeably and I knew that we had been supported by Spirit. I've witnessed this for myself many times and it was magical to be a part of this releasing ceremony in the spirit filled Cascade Mountains.

Try it for yourself! If you need help or encouragement, email me and I'll tell you how:)