When we find the courage to practice clear-direct-communication, it's important to share what we're feeling, (not always that easy) remembering that the lessons in life are always OURS!
A friend recently told me of her and her husband's willingness to work on their communication. Every time that he barbecued hamburgers, she got hers opposite of what she had asked for.
One night, he asked her if she wanted him to barbecue hamburgers. She calmly replied, "No, thank you!" He was puzzled. She explained that every time she got her hamburger, it was how she didn't like it.
After many times, what she felt like saying was, "You stupid moron! Cook it like I asked!" But she was able to hold her tongue, take a deep breath and tell him how she was feeling.
"When you cook my hamburger exactly opposite of how I ask for it, it makes me feel, unimportant: you don't care enough give me what I ask for and unheard: you are not listening to me."
When we are able to share how we're feeling, it takes the focus off of the other person and places it back on ourselves, exactly where it belongs!
Remember that the lessons are always ours! When we make it about the other person, we miss the teaching for ourself!
"When you cook my hamburger exactly opposite of how I ask for it, it makes me feel, unimportant: you don't care enough give me what I ask for and unheard: you are not listening to me."
When we are able to share how we're feeling, it takes the focus off of the other person and places it back on ourselves, exactly where it belongs!
Remember that the lessons are always ours! When we make it about the other person, we miss the teaching for ourself!
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