Thursday, June 30

LABOR PAINS - THE THIRD IN A SERIES OF ECLIPSES




I know for myself and have had many calls and emails in the past few days about people feeling a bit anxious and uncertain in their lives right now. I thought that I would pass along this information from Simone Butler about what is happening in the sky that is creating these labor pains of change, dying to old ways and rebirthing ourselves. www.astroalchemy.com/thismonth.html

Theme: Labor Pains

Are you feeling the heat? Since June 1, we've been in a super-accelerated eclipse phase. If you haven't already felt--and heeded--the call to change, get ready - because the July 1 Cancer New Moon eclipse (1:54 a.m. PDT) is the Big Mama of them all.

Cancer rules birth. And summer is a time of ripening and fruition. Because this birthing season is more powerfully potent than most, we can create something extraordinary--if we're willing to go through the pain of labor. The July 1 eclipse forms a Grand Cross with Uranus (sudden change), Saturn (reality), and Pluto (pressure), all in cardinal action signs. This alchemical pattern unfolds between June 26 and July 2. It's the moment when lead transforms into gold. Through intense heat and pressure, something new is born.

The Moon (feminine), strong in her own sign of Cancer, eclipses the Sun (masculine) at the dark of the moon. This puts Mama in charge. And, she's no longer taking any abuse. Earth changes or uprisings are a possibility around this eclipse. The deep feminine is also rising up within us. Our feelings and intuition demand that we bury the old and birth the new.
This eclipse initiates a new chapter for you.

What this simply means to us is to remain conscious and awake. Pay attention, journal, ask for support. (It’s in my journaling that I can go back and see how I’ve grown, what still needs healing, what are my intentions for creating and manifesting.) I’m trusting that new, bigger and exciting things are brewing and I am happy to be a part of it all, even though I have to go through a squeeze, much like being birthed through the birth canal.

The Angel Card that I pulled today was from Francesca - “What do you desire right now? Visualize it and it will come about. Negativity will block your progress.” Making no decision, is making a decision to remain the same.” So my friends, let’s put on our little helmets, slip through this birthing canal, get back our positive attitudes and begin creating fabulous things and exciting lives!

Wednesday, June 29

THE GENTLE NUDGE OF LETTING GO TURNS TO BODY SLAMS!


One of the things that I talk about in my work, which of course is just a mirror for my life, is learning to let go. I’ve often said that “You get as many opportunities and as much pain as you need until you get the lesson!” I can give example after example about this, but I’ll use my most current situation.

I’m having trouble letting go of the Riverbend Retreat Cottage. It’s really all that I have left of my previous life, so what keeps me hanging onto it? I ask myself the questions that I use in making decisions in my life. What would you do if you weren’t afraid? What would you do if it weren’t about money? I’d sell...on both counts! In a heartbeat, without a doubt!

Feeling like I’m finished living in Grass Valley, I wonder what keeps me hanging on. The money. It was wonderful the first two years while I was traveling, however, I feel a bit more stable (for now) and even have a few job opportunities. The house no longer is stress free. I have to constantly be on top of getting the rent. So, finally, I hired a property management company, thinking that it would be less stressful for me. NOT!

After doing that, the cottage has quickly become the house from hell. Continued (actually worse) issues with the rent and now issues with the property management company. Certainly I have to take a look at my contribution to the equation of dysfunction.

Others around me have been witnessing as things began to get a bit rough. Many times I’ve thought about selling, but just kind of skirted the issues, trying other options. As many people think that I should keep it as think that I should sell. As much as a financial decision, for me, it is also about wanting to stay in alignment with my personal journey.

I was telling my daughter about the latest episode with all of this and she, (being one of the cheerleaders for selling) said, “Hmmmm, your gentle nudges are quickly becoming body slams! Let Go!

She was with me as we were driving from Oakland to Grass Valley recently and I was on the phone with someone I counsel with. I kept seeing ‘signs’. The phone number on the billboard, 864.3333 - 9, the first 3 numbers is completion. The 3’s for me, was a sign of ultimate support from Spirit. 8888 was the address that we saw 4 different times, on different sides of the building. 4 of anything is a signal that someone is trying to get our attention. 8 means prosperity, and then the dolphin and rainbow billboard. The dolphin energy was instrumental in Evolve to Live moving into a business. The rainbow...well, it speaks for itself.

I know, a person can read the signs anyway that they want. But, that’s the point. What do they mean to you, personally. For me in this instance, I just continue to waver back and forth, with a bad case of the ‘What if’s?’. What if I sell? What if I don’t? It’s not a good time to sell in the market, or is it?

Things are no longer flowing smoothly with this little cottage. Everything is a struggle. From getting the rent to hiring people to help me. I don’t know, maybe I need a couple more slams before I can really get it!

The point is to let go sooner than later. Less pain, more peace.....

Monday, June 27

VISION QUEST IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO GET!



I’m in Salt Lake City and heading back to over 100 degree temperatures tonight. I thought it was interesting that my confirmation number begins with GPS...GPSX7B.

Again, I haven’t had any vacations for quite awhile. These trips are vision quests. As Forrest Gump puts it," Life (Vision Quest) is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.” An important part of Vision Questing is not only taking time during the time away, but also after, to check in with myself. It’s important for me to take time for reflection to see how far I’ve come and where I still need to heal and where the refinement of skills are still needed on my personal journey.

The questions I’m asking myself. How did I do on this trip? Where was reaction and resistance emerging? Where was the brat running the show? Did I allow the wise parents to rise up and love her? Did I allow the wise parents to reassure her in her panty twists, that everything was going to be ok, that they had her back? Where did I still loose myself? As a friend recently put it, “I don’t want to inflict myself on anyone. (Definitely still a place for healing, codependency still alive and well.) Who inside me still needs outside approval, wants to fit in and who am I still seeking acceptance from? Where did I give away my power? Where did I live unconsciously, reverting back to old patterns and habits?

Conversely, I also need to remember how I was supported and rejuvenated. How from the very beginning the trip went smoothly. (When I arrived in Oakland, the billboards and angel numbers were amazing.)

Where had I grown and where had I stretched myself? Where was I joyful, full of love and light? Where had I allowed fun and excitement to enter into my soul?

By my answering the call of the Yuba, (through resistance) gave me a sense of replenishment, just by being in its energy. (The water was too high and too swift for swimming. Something very unusual for this time of year.) By driving in my daughter’s new red VW Eos (The Greek Goddess of the Dawn) convertible the cobwebs were cleared from my head. And riding a horse and just being around the baby horse helped me to regain a new zeal for live once again.

After having dinner at a mexican restaurant, I had a new vision for a property that I have my eye on in Tubac. And as my shaman friend pointed out, having several opportunities to work in Tubac, that Arizona is calling me back, just in this moment. So from Salt Lake City, I’m on the road again! Happy Summer!

Sunday, June 26

YUBA RIVER



Where am I? Well, now it should read, where have I been? I flew into Oakland, CA, where the temperatures were lovely. I even needed a sweatshirt! We stayed with a college friend of my daughter’s on the Oakland Lake and went to yoga. Where the desert is a bit desolate this time of year, the lake was full of life and energy. It felt nice. We then drove up towards Grass Valley, to check into the Riverbend Retreat House situation and stopped at her cowgirl friend’s barn to ride gypsy’s, big gentle draft type horses. The little gypsy foal was so fun to watch with his tail that was so wavy it looked as though it had been permed. He began to feel his oats, wandering a bit from mamma, who was getting a bath. She kept calling him to stay close to her and he’d wander off just enough to give her cause for concern! Very cute to watch. I rode the lesson horse, Bella. Now that’s my kind of exercise. Holding onto the back of a horse bareback. My inner thighs are still talking about it!

Friday, I got to see how my little cottage is doing and try to make a decision on what is next down the pipe for it. I continue to explain away, always defending bad behavior and making excuses for everyone. Something I’ve always done and struggled with to overcome in my recovery process. I can always defend the underdog. As is the situation with the guests at the Retreat house. Everyone can see the situation clearly, except me. I have the gift of a 'quick to forget memory'. I quickly forget the facts that have taken me to the point of wanting to reclaim my cottage. I even hired a company to help me do that and now....I can explain and make excuses for the guests. Give me a flippin’ break!

We then visited one of my son’s and my daughter bought me (really herself, but boy am I having fun in it!) a new car! VW Eos (Meaning Greek Goddess of the dawn!) red convertible! Red meaning power (personal)! In Oakland, while on the phone with my shaman, we passed up a billboard which read, You’re Incredibly Powerful!) That is all that was on the billboard! I have no idea what they were advertising! (Angel support)

Staying at the home of my shaman, I should have expected no less as Saturday started off a bit traumatic for me. We watched a snake (we thought was dead) begin to move from it’s cave alongside the path and a frog jumped out of the washing machine onto me, after the cycle was over no less!

I had not planned to come to Grass Valley, and yet here I am. Without a doubt, I knew that after consulting with my friend she of course explained some possible parallels of these incidents to my life’s situation. (The snake and frog were both there as support in making decisions in my life to leave the past behind and move forward. And then adding that she new we would be staying at her home even though I had insisted that I had no plans for coming this way.

While in the area, I didn’t have time or a means of transportation to see any friends. And as I’m writing this we’re cleaning and off this AM, (Sunday) for Salt Lake City, UT. (With a short stop at the Yuba!) We’re spending the night in Elko and driving to SLC where I’ll catch my plane back to AZ while my daughter attends a basketball camp in UT. Happy rest of the weekend!

Wednesday, June 22

ON THE ROAD AGAIN, SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA GET AWAY!



Today I was going to write about support from the angels in numbers. However, I find myself on the road again and so I’ll talk about that.

I’ve been feeling a bit stagnate, the heat? (111 degrees today) the blues from my company all having left? Tears well up in my eyes often and I find myself saying, “I just need my mommy,” as tears began to roll down my cheeks. “It feels like my heart is closed again.”

My friend just told me about a shaman who had told her about the incredible energy vortex where we’re living in the middle of in Southern Arizona. He added, “When things are good, they’re really good and when then bad, they’re awful!” “Well, that splains everything…Lucy!” He added how important it would be living there to be sure to take time away as well.

A friend made an observation about me when I said that I was thinking to leave for a few days, “You can’t be alone with yourself.” I certainly I acknowledge that being with me is part of my journey. The aloneness can turn into loneliness. And I felt that I had been abused by neglect for the first half of my life so the loneliness brings up past hurts. (Which is how we heal if we give them the space to emerge).

However, I think the trouble right now for me is that I’m home by myself too much. I get up early and work on my projects until early/late afternoon, depending on the day. That’s it! I haven’t really gotten out into the community as I’ve been focused on finishing GPS and the projects around it. I work best when I can use the energy of others and then go away and be alone to create. It was great when I had company because I had a piece of both worlds. I could stay in my room in the AM working and then had time and people to play with later.

When I was married and our children small, my husband would come home from work and being gone all day, he just wanted to be home and relax. I on the other hand, had been home with the children all day and just wanted to go and do something or spend time with him. There were many when my children were young that I said, “Get in the stroller, we’re going out!” Sometimes you’ve just got to get out of the energy that you’re in.

Ultimately, I am very happy that my daughter called this morning and said, I book you a ticket to SFO. You have an hour before you have to leave for the airport!” (Obviously there is a bit more to the story.)

I know it’s a good thing for me. Everything has gone so smoothly and when I looked at my phone for the time, 1:11. (Angel support!)

It’s a short trip, just enough to get a new perspective on things. I plan to be back in Arizona sometime Sunday. How am I getting back? Don’t know. I’m sure I’ll know when I need to know! But for now, signing off, from On the road. (Technically in the plane!)

Tuesday, June 21

WE ARE ALL TEACHERS WE ARE ALL STUDENTS




Having had a lot of recent visitors to the new Riverbend Retreat House in Tubac, AZ, has been a grand (to use Irish lingo) to remind myself once again that we’re all teachers and we’re all students. We learn from each other. We share our experiences and our stories. We’re mirrors for each of us to see ourselves more clearly and visa versa. We are able to see where we’ve grown and and where we still need work and healing.

I had dinner last night with my Shamanic Astrologer friend. He was helping me with the part of my book about life cycles from a Shamanic Astrology view point. One of my favorite things that I love about his philosophy is that no matter who we are, what archetypes (astrological signs based on our birth, time, date and place) we have brought with us to this life, we all have a valid place on the wheel of life. We are all important and necessary. We are unique and not one other person is exactly like us. All of our gifts are needed. We all have a piece of the puzzle.

Once again, we are all on our own journeys. There is not one person on this earth that is not! So the next time you find yourself in awe of another, look at it as just a mirror to see yourself more clearly. It’s you too! You’ve attracted these people into your life. And I for one am honored to be in yours! Nameste my teachers, colleagues and friends. (The Divine God/Goddess in me, honors the Divine God/Goddess in you!) (P.S. I used the cartoon of the 2+2+22 as a way of showing Divine support. The number 2 is about keeping your thoughts positive as you are going to attract more of what you’re thinking.....2222! Quad whammy.....really pay attention!

Monday, June 20

SIGNS THAT WE ARE ALWAYS SUPPORTED BY GOD


There are always signs and clues for us, to help us to see that we are supported in a myriad of ways by Great Mystery.

I began to learn to read the signs of support when I was going through major life changes. By this time in my life, nothing that was familiar to me was working any longer. Marriage, family, finances, church, God, friends, etc. There seemed to be no one that I could trust in my life. Everything had changed.

After many retreats, classes, books, seminars and coaching under my belt, I began to see that I was never alone, even for one minute. I was always under the radar of support from Spirit/God/The Universe.

I just want to clarify, that I don’t make decisions based on perceived Divine Support. I only use a sign (from my perception) in support for what I am already feeling inside.

I was telling a friend that while I was journaling about selling the Riverbend Retreat house in Grass Valley, in order to reinvest in Tubac, Az, my pen ran out of ink. Running out of ink is no big deal, in and of itself. However, I had already been feeling like it was time to sell and I read this running out of ink while writing specifically about the GV house as support from my Guardian Angel/Spirit Guides. (possibly)

Would I make a decision to sell my house simply because my pen ran out of ink. Not a chance. The journey of personal growth is to get to know and trust ourselves, our intuition. Taking in all of the facts, pros and cons and then taking the inward journey as to what feels right.

It had already felt right to me and I could give you a list of reasons why I’ve come to that conclusion. But right now, it’s just an idea that is percolating and I’ll watch to see how things unfold and how gentle the ride is along the way. Living in the moment will keep me focused on what is current and not spinning in a bunch of What if’s? Happy deciphering!

Sunday, June 19

PUT YOUR FILTER ON! - DON’T LISTEN TO or PARTICIPATE IN GOSSIP/RUMORS



I’m reminded after a recent conversation, of a couple of things that a dear priest friend would remind me of when I was in the thick of my life changing. I worked for a church, a breeding ground for opinions, gossip and rumors. (Prayer concerns!) He used to repeatedly remind me, “Put your filter on! Must you take everything in?” He added, “Must you talk? You Americans talk too much! You give others the ammunition to use against you later.”

What I have since learned is that everyone is not a safe place to share. You need to find a confidant or two where you can share your deepest thoughts, (it’s how some of us process) knowing that our thoughts will be held in strictest confidence, not ever to be shared with another or used against you at a later date.

Otherwise, for the vast majority, the philosophy of “less is more” is best. Think before you speak.

Let’s take it one step further and add, Don’t gossip or start rumors. Don’t tell the story of another. If you find yourself caught in a situation where someone is wanting information about another, I’ve found a good line to use is “It’s not my story to tell.” Who can take issue with that?

So there you have it. A little secret to help you move through life with a bit more ease and peace.

Happy trails.....

Saturday, June 18

OPINIONS




Opinions are like assholes, everyone’s got one. We sometimes forget the fact that people and their opinions are very small in the bigger scheme of things. We act as though they are as big as the ocean and yet they are simply a drop of water in the ocean. When you see it on a scale like that, the opinion of another hardly matters.

At times in our lives, especially when we dare to live outside the lines that have been drawn for us by our society, we’re going to hear the opinions of others, if we’ve asked for them or not.

I decided to look up the word opinion. 1. a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty.
2. a personal view, attitude, or appraisal. Doesn’t sound like an opinion has much value does it.

When we have the courage to follow our gut instincts and know that it is time for a walkabout or vision quest in our lives; a yearning to discover who we are, deep within our souls, it can be confusing to others who don’t understand or have the courage to say Yes to the unknown.

It is then that we simply have to stand in our knowing that the path that we’ve chosen will be in complete and full alignment with the cycles of our life and the journey that our soul is on. Trusting that we will be fully supported by God knowing that we are cradled in the Universal Flow of love and energy.

It is great to listen to the experiences that another has to share, that’s part of the learning process. However, the only opinion that matters is YOURS!

BECOME INDEPENDENT OF THE GOOD OPINION OF OTHER PEOPLE!
Happy Trails!

Friday, June 17

INSIGHTS INTO MY PERSONAL GROWTH


In the next stage of GPS for Living, rewrites, I was going though some notes that I have kept over the past 10 years of my personal growth journey. i stumbled upon some old codependency writings and dang if I didn’t still see myself there. While I have improved tremendously, I could see that there is still healing and work that needs to take place.

The line that caught my attention this morning was, "The least bit of disapproval, they’ll clam up and say whatever you want.’
I recognized that I said this to one of my friends just the other night. (Male, of course, however can simply be someone we perceive as having authority.) I feel like we are always on opposite sides, as we see life differently. I had always thought that our friendship was just the refiner’s fire of my old boss. Simply more practice in being conscious and seeing where I still give myself away. (Not wanting to face disapproval.)

Now while I did succumb to his opinion (I can’t remember exactly what we were even talking about) this time, I now remember that I also stood up for myself a bit earlier. I actually blogged about the night that this group of men and I were having a conversation about the Master Cleanse. My friend was trying to shhhhhhh me! It was OK for me to be shhhhhhed, as long as I didn’t upset the owner. I didn’t shhhhhhhhh and so, kudos to me!

My daughter is here visiting and when I took her to the Cheers Bar, where I get to see where I am still needing approval and teasing (attention), as we left, she said, “I don’t like the way that they treat you in there!” Good for her! I grew up with teasing, dumb blonde jokes etc., for me, it can be what love feels like. Great reminder....thanks!

It’s not about winning. It is simply about standing up for the little ones inside of us, who get tamped down or shhhhhhed!
It’s been how they’ve survived childhood. Seen and not heard.

I’m grateful for these insights as they have helped me connect a few more dots in my healing process.
I’m including the other one lines here today to see if any of them help you. Happy Journey!


Co dependents
Can’t communicate
Can’t challenge authority
The least bit of disapproval, they’ll clam up and say whatever you want
Wouldn’t say anything to hurt the feelings of another and yet would hurt themselves
Try very hard to be perfect and take criticism to heart as they’ve tried so hard.
Do for others
Do without
Look for sales
Buy what’s on sale, not what they want
Don’t feel worthy of the time of another

Wednesday, June 15

One of the 4 Agreements, Don’t Assume Anything!




Boundaries, Clear, direct, communication or self-care. Usually situations in my life seem to fall into one of these categories. I think of these situations as the refiner’s fire, simply more practice in perfecting these skills in my life.

I had an opportunity to work on my clear, direct communication yesterday with a friend. He was telling me about an email that he had sent to his sister about the possibly of getting a new door on her garage. The window had been broken and needed repair. My friend thought that getting a new door without a window would be a good solution for her, however when she didn’t respond to his email, he assumed, she didn’t want to go that route.

I picked up on the word, assumed and said that in this day of modern technology, and his assuming, he should assume that she hadn’t gotten his email and should call her to clarify. One thing led to another and we we ended up in a conversation that was going no where.

I found myself ending the conversation because he was getting irritated. I was reminded to stand in my truth when I walked by a license plate that read PESKY 4. For me, it was a reminder from Spirit. The number 4 is angel support. The angels were telling me, it’s ok to be pesky. Just say what is true for you. The panty twist that another has, is simply your gift to them. An opportunity for them to see themselves more clearly...and visa versa.

I said, "Well, anyway, do me a favor. If that happens to us in our friendship, don’t assume anything. Give me the benefit of the doubt and please call me and ask me for clarification.”

Don’t assume anything, is one of the 4 Agreements, by Miguel Ruiz. 1. Be impeccable with your word 2. Don’t take anything personally 3. Don’t make assumptions and 4. Always do your best.

The old saying about the word assume....it makes an ass out of u and me....

Monday, June 13

YOUR LIFE IS RIGHT NOW! NOT SOME DAY.....WHEN......


Gosh, it’s been nearly a month since I last blogged. There are several reasons for this. One, could be that I’ve been ultra focused on finishing my next book, however, that certainly is not a reason, not to blog. I could easily cut and paste sections into the blog. OK, how about, I write each day in a journal as a way of helping me figure out things in my life and for the next book coming out. Nice try, but no dice. Again, a simple cut and paste would do the trick! Would you believe "The dog ate it?” OK, “Nobody reads it anyway!” Well, except for one person who has left a few not so encouraging comments. (Which by the way has been a great gift of practice for me when I begin my speaking engagements in the fall.)

What I have found out in the past few weeks is that there are people who do read and apparently even look forward to reading my blog. So to you I apologize for my neglect and inconsistency.

A lot has happened in the past month. This beautiful house has become the new Riverbend Retreat Center and is beginning to feel like a home. I’ve had quite a few charming people visit and two dinner parties. We’ve had a pretty intense fire down here and I had another enchanting time in Mexico at the dentist with some pretty amazing amigos! (Something that I’m happy I don’t listen to negative talk about...not going to Mexico, that is!)

But what I’d like to share today is what I was reminded about for myself after having had a conversation with a friend about making time in life for the things that are important to us. I had been complaining that we don’t go for hikes or have any time to spend together as friends. He was telling me, that it will happen later,” When the season slows down, when the snow birds leave, when some deals in California close"...you get the picture. We can add to the list, “When I retire, when the children leave home, when I’m 64! Wait! I am 64! Dang, when did that happen?"

The part that I just finished in the book was about, This being your life right now. You’re in the middle of it. It’s not someday....when! We have to make time to do the things that are important to us, first and then everything else seems to work itself out as far as time allotment anyway.

In the end, it won’t make any difference how many deals you close or how many books you write if you don’t have family and friends to share your life with. While I become intensely focused on finishing this next book, I find myself neglecting things that are important to me...YOU! (Via the blog!)

Thanks for reading and being a very valuable part of my life. Nameste, I honor the Divine in each of you!

Live, LIve, Live, Life is a banquet and most poor souls are starving!...Auntie Mamme