Sunday, September 17

Day 16 - Body Image Meat Suit

Why is this so hard to get?

From my time in Ireland with a shaman, I came to appreciate the fact that not all souls have the privilege of having a body and no matter what kind of body we have, it's a gift!

In this life, our bodies help our spirits to experience things that they can't without one. Our bodies are really God with Skin on. As important as Spirit is in our lives, we're just that important to Spirit because of our bodies.

And so, it's so sad that so many of us... including me... struggle with our body image. Gratitude... that's the appropriate response for our meat suit.

Growing up in SoCal,  I did all the things one does to keep in shape, because heaven forbid... I didn't want to be one of those fat old ladies! And then life goes on and you find yourself just able to get up and breathe each morning and nothing else mattered... And my body had changed.

Taking Aquatic Massage, my instructor lived at a clothing optional hot springs.  She wore a suit during her sessions because she said the space between the client and therapist must be neutral. I asked her about her personal experience of being naked in the hot springs as an older women. She simply said, "I feel nothing but gratitude. Just look around. That man took off his leg before entering and that woman has only one breast. There are all shapes and sizes. It's all good!"

Why then do we have such trouble? Of course... we want to be healthy. But beyond that there is a feeling lurking around many of us of being not good enough. Good enough for whom? We have a meat suit! Wow!

When I was about 50, I spent a summer in a small town in So Az and because I had no money for air conditioner, I found that if I didn't wear clothes, I didn't get hot. And because the property was completely fenced, it was doable. Still trying to accept myself completely as I was, I took it one step further and for a very short period that summer, I began watching porn. I know... but it was the only way that I could see the bodies of other women and give myself permission to have my body. We basically all have the same parts... beautiful!

I thought that I was completely over body image, and while I'm clearly not, (refer to Day 13) I find the gift in this challenge is to once again remind myself of the gift that a body is to the soul. To accept, love and appreciate all of its parts and allow myself the space to grieve the loss of the parts no longer with me... my appendix, uterus and ovaries. It is with deep gratitude for the joy they've brought me as a woman. I'm thankful for the reminder of this challenge... to love and accept me... all parts of my meat suit. 

Day 14 - Self-Care Awareness Challenge - UNPLUG - GET A LIFE!

The invitation for Day 14 of the Self-Care Awareness Month Challenge was to UNPLUG... I suppose to unplug from anything that we are too over consumed with, but in our society today, unplug from electronics. For me, I even unplug from the news and daily morning news talk shows.

I'm not sure when it became the 'norm' to be available to everyone 24/7. I know the excuses; My work... I have children... I'm in a relationship, etc. Not to even mention how we've become addicted to social media, sharing every last thought, what we ate, what we're doing, and we give our opinions and viewpoints on everything under the sun, even things we know nothing about.

In my world, unplugging is easier than plugging in! My phone is always on silent, not vibrate and my texts only come when I turn my phone on, which allows me to be present in each moment with whomever I'm with or with whatever I'm doing. I know, it seems a bit antiquated, but it works for me. I'm not always jumping every time a text, email comes in. And I don't get regular updates on social media, I only know what's happening... when I physically choose to go to their pages and take a look.

What can I say... it gives me peace and I feel calm. I get to keep up on whatever... but on my terms. (Now that's true Self-Care!) No one is so indispensable that they have to be available whenever someone else decides. By unplugging, I put myself in control of my life.

But... you say, "What if someone needs me?" I would argue, that not being available to them 24/7, gives them time to figure out things for themselves. We're giving others an opportunity to grow. The hardest part of unplugging is that we can feel the void of not being needed or having a purpose in life. There's the real invitation... GET A LIFE for yourself and you won't be so plugged into everyone else.

Week 13 - Self Care Awareness Month Challenge - Start a Compliments File


I'm a little behind on posting my experiences of the 30-Day Self-Care Awareness Month Challenge.
I read through them everyday, but as I believe in Divine Timing, I am trusting that the perfect time for this challenge for me was today. We were invited to begin a Compliment File for ourselves.

My daughter and grand baby had just left from a week long visit and the void left space for unhealed feelings to emerge, as always happens for me when I transition from one project to the next. This time was even more intense for me as I had just watched the video of my last television appearance promoting Self-Care Awareness Month on a morning talk show.

I found myself quickly going down a rabbit hole that I wasn't sure I could find my way back. Start a compliments file... you've got to flipping be kidding me! No Way! I couldn't find one thing nice to say about me!

I've been struggling with getting older. Getting older in itself doesn't really bother me, but how my looks change in relation to how I feel makes me very sad. I still feel 19... until I look in the mirror, and I don't even recognize who I am. So watching me... or a version of me... on television was just more than I could take.

I won't bore you with the details... but I needed to go to bed to get out of my pain. I felt bad that for all my body and  has given/provided for me, that I had nothing nice to say. So, I went to bed and through the tears tried to say one thing nice to this old gal. A compliments file? Let me see if I can just find one.

Saturday, September 9

Self-Love - Day 8 - Self-Care Awareness Month 30-Day Challenge



Here we are at Day 8 on the 30 Day Self-Care Awareness Challenge... with the palm of your hand on a mirror, look yourself in the eyes and say, I LOVE YOU, 10 times! I wanted to write about this because it's hard as well as powerful.

Whew! I've been doing this work for many years and have done this very exercise many times and yet it never looses its potency for accepting myself just as I am.... over and over... again!

When I first began my journey of self-discovery, I was living in a beautiful home in southern Arizona that was completely fenced and had a wrap-around veranda. In trying to learn to appreciate and love all of me, I spent the summer in the nude. Now, 10 years later not only do I still struggle with my body image, I'm still very aware of the areas that I feel lack or not enough.

I took this exercise a bit deeper. I broke up my life into decades and said I LOVE YOU, to me in each stage of my life. I began with pre-birth. I LOVE YOU... I knew you before you were born.

I went to me in the womb. I LOVE YOU, knowing I was an unwanted child.

Next decade, age 1-10, I LOVE YOU, visualizing me as a child, feeling all the parts that I was told were unloveable.

Ages 10-20, I LOVE YOU, in those very awkward years of feeling like no one could love me.

Ages 20-30, I LOVE YOU, finding love and meaning in relationship and family.

Ages 30-40, I LOVE YOU, as the children grew and began finding their own path in life... and realizing that I wasn't a part of it. (I had to get my own life!)

Ages 40-50, I LOVE YOU, as the invitation (discontentment) to the path of self-discovery began showing itself.

Age 50-60, I LOVE YOU, accepting my path for living my life as untraditional and magical, when I rest into it and say yes to the doors that open. Still struggling with my side kick - 'not good enough.'

Let's see, that leave 2 more, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU... you're perfect just the way you are. You're made in the likeness and image of the creator, how can that not be perfect.

Pati, looking into my eyes with one hand on the mirror, I say one last time with true heartfelt meaning, I LOVE YOU.

Thursday, September 7

DON'T POSTPONE THE JOY!

Day 6 of the Self-Care Awareness 30-Day Challenge invites us to take the time to discover what brings us joy in our life? What lights us up? What puts a smile on our face.

When working with clients, I also add, "It can't be SOMEONE or SOMETHING." Well, that takes loads of things out of the equation. Now, I'm not saying that people or things can't bring you joy, but when you're trying to discover your passion for living, people and things are just on the surface.

Why can't it be someone or something? A few reasons. First, as I mentioned, they are not deep down desires of who you were created to be. What brings you real joy and puts a smile on your face is something deep within your being. It's a soul calling. It's a gift that you've been given to share with the world.

Secondly, SOMETHING... will always go away. It may bring you joy for a bit, but it's not the passion deep within. SOMEONE... is on their own life's journey path... and at some point will venture off to follow their hearts desire even if you're not ready.

Nope... to discover what truly brings you joy in your life, you may have to ask someone from childhood. "What did I like to do? Play?" Many times, in becoming an adult we loose sight of what we used to love.

So while the challenge today is to discover and show what brings you joy in your life, if you'd like to go deeper... begin noticing... what really brings ME joy! What makes ME happy?

DON'T POSTPONE THE JOY!