Sunday, September 25

GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN!



My first official speaking conference! The topic, Control is just the setting on the washing machine! How by letting go of our perceptions and expectations, God is free to work, even when it seems like He’s out for a smoke!

What I was reminded of were two things. !. I only talk about what i need to hear 2. Be careful what you talk about, as you’ll get many first hand experiences to drive your point home and 3. It’s not about the ‘conference’ or the publishing of a book, or whatever for that matter....it’s just all part of my life’s journey and I’d better enjoy the ride!

My GPS book was not in print for the conference. We were now 15 days into the publishing and still no book! The spine of the cover was off, the holiday came, my designer went away, the list was endless....but i won’t bore you. The bottom line, I was able to get 1 proof sent to my sister’s house in LA (where the conference was being held). When I arrived, still no book. I coincidentally talked to my son in Grass Valley that evening. “There’s a package here for you!” Yep, the book! There was absolutely no reason that the book should have been delivered there. I had never used that address with this company. I said this to him. Maybe you’re supposed to be here. He and his girlfriend drove through the night so the book could have it’s debut. (And it was lovely to have them with me!)

I am making a perpetual calendar....was it done....NO! We also have an iphone and android app....were they uploaded...of course not! It became comical. I announced to my two friends who had accompanied me, “We’re going to go and have FUN and anything else will be a bonus!"

I walked into my session with the incomplete calendar in my hands with a spiral hanging off the side....like a slinky toy!
I simply said, “Has anyone seen the movie “Little Miss Sunshine?” Many nods....I got down on one knee, held up this laughable handiwork that I was trying to create and said, “Please, you have no idea what I’ve been through to get here!”

Out of 25 in my session half came by and bought a book, which is double what is ‘normal.’
One woman said, I loved what you were talking about, it’s definitely ‘edgy.’ I thought that was really telling about our beliefs in ministry, I know they were certainly my old beliefs.

One nun said, life is about sacrifice. She gave the example of the sacrifice parents make for their families. I agree, there is a time for sacrifice, but service to others comes after service to self....even the airlines tell us to put on our masks before helping anyone else! We can’t give what we don’t have!

One woman came by the table and said how much she enjoyed my workshop and asked would I be at the LA Congress? (40,000 people in attendance) Sr. Edith, the Sr. who got me into this conference was standing there and said, “She’ll be there next year!”
YAHOO!!!!

While I learned lots and met lovely people, but most importantly....we did have FUN!

Thank you all for your support to get ETL to this point.....I love you!!!

Tuesday, September 13

WARNING: HAVE VACUUM...WILL USE!!!






It’s been nearly a year since I’ve been here in the desert....off and on....and one of the things that has been most interesting is watching the different species of insects and bugs. They are born with full force and within a short period of time...they live their life cycle, disappear and a new variety appears!

We (the bugs, critters and I) have an agreement....No one is allowed in the house or on the veranda....it’s simply a boundary issue! So, my vacuum cleaner never gets put away...it’s always in the ready position!

The infestation of turquoise beetle came and went. They ate all of the apples on the tree....when I walked out to the tree, all I could see were millions of tiny little butts in the air, while their little faces buried deep in the apples....they were fine and contained as long as I left them alone!

Scorpions....several in the house...the best time to see them is late at night....and then turn the light on....I don’t go out searching for them...but when they appear, I simply turn on the switch.

My daughter was visiting and as she went into the garage, she calmly (not so calmly) said, “Mom, come to the garage now...QUICKLY....RIGHT NOW!.. Well, I had not seen a tarantula up close and personal before. But there she was....too big to be vacuumed up! Now what? No shovels around...no one to help....(Deb!!! My old housecleaning buddy! Where are you?)....I just got the broom and swept her out....I felt bad about it later....but I remembered the boundaries I had set up....no one in the house or veranda....guess I forgot to mention the garage.

Most days, I vacuum the house and porch and if I’ve been gone overnight, I cautiously open the door...wondering whose come to call?

The June Bugs (not in June) made their debut. Tons, everywhere! I did an experiment and even with all of the windows and doors closed, they still found their way inside! I began by vacuuming them, but as their numbers decreased, I began to feel sorry for them. Once they get on their backs, they’re finished...their little feet move in the air as they appear to be walking. So I began turning them over, putting them on the porch, pointing their little heads towards the garden...I found myself laughing one morning as I had lined up 5 with instructions to move forward....within a minute they had all turned around and were headed back to the house!

Cleaning the porch, I noticed one had been caught in a spider web but was still alive. I have no idea what possessed me to save him! But I did....not sure it was the best thing to do! Once out of the web, he couldn’t move and so I began to peel the sticky spider web from his body...not good enough...his little legs were covered as well....So I picked him up, by his body and tried to get the web off without injuring his legs...He was free...The purpose??? I don’t know...a mirror for me? Where am i stuck? What is keeping me from moving forward?

Anyway, the moths....we’ll they’re always kind of around. I live in an authentic Mexican Hacienda...and the windows have no screens, only bars....when I leave on a light they all come to visit....What? Do they think it’s Motel 6...”We’ll leave the light on for you!”

A LITTLE TOO MUCH NATURE!



OK, I talk a lot about seeing the Divine in everything, including nature. Well, I’ve had just about enough nature for awhile!

It all began this spring. I was in Nevada City and I spent several days with a snake living by the front step...after my initial heart attack, she helped to me get over my extreme fear of snakes. Don’t get me wrong, we’re still not friends, but it was an opportunity to stay present rather than run for the hills...Then...at the same house...my friend’s washing machine is outside...I did a load of laundry and as I pulled the clean clothes out...so jumped a frog! Heavens to Betsy! Give me a break! How does a frog go through the wash cycle and come out rejuvenated!

Back in AZ, I’ve had the pleasure of seeing bats up close and personal...again, not ever having the opportunity before, I was less than embracing. Again, after I got over my initial fear, I was able to come to terms and be with them. One little guy burrowed himself in the crack by the front door. Hearing many derogatory stories about bats, I didn’t know what to expect. It was quite cute, with his brown fur. My daughter picked him up with a dust pan and moved him to the garden. Certainly something was wrong as bats need to take flight from a high place. He screamed as she moved him and he made his way back onto the porch clinging to a planter. He did die of course. I had a little ceremony for him...the sacrifice of the bat...death and rebirth....everyday living. I laid him to rest in an old saguaro cactus whose top had deteriorated to make a perfect burial place for the bat.

Finally, now and then lizards come inside the house. I’ve been very clear with the munchkins....no one in the house or even on the veranda....One little lizard found his way into the master bath...I decided to let him find his own way out...A day or so went by and I had forgotten about him. I went to brush my teeth one morning and as I put my toothbrush back into the cup...guess who popped out! Yep! Scared the bajeezus out of me!

I like to think that he was helping me to help him....get back outside. He knew I wasn’t going to pick him up! I put a cover over the glass and carried him out!

While I know we’re all one...we all inhabit this earth together....I still don’t like sharing my space with the critters!!!

Monday, September 12

EVERYTHING WE HAVE TO GIVE BEGINS WITHIN OURSELVES



Dynamic Stillness - Cranial Sacral Work Workshop with Charles Ridley – 9 /10 $ 9/11 2011
It’s interesting to note that while Charles had a very successful practice in NY for many years, he is now ‘unlearning’ everything that he learned in order to let the wisdom of the body heal itself.

I was hooked only $300, no special requirements to attends, for practitioners of any kind…

Cranial Sacral work is what I always wanted to know about. It was the first time that I had permission to just lie down and rest….physical therapy for my neck….all I did was lie there….the therapist moved around the table on a little rolling stool and just touched me. When asked if I wanted to go to the Pilates machines or in the back room, Back room, blurted out every time….permission for someone of ‘authority’ to lie down, permission that I would eventually learn to give to myself.

I purchased the recommended reading book but as usual, didn’t read it, oh I tried, just wasn’t that interesting to me….Psychology and Erotic something….In the writings that Charles had sent for us to read, there seems lots of talk about erotic and perineum and genitals….I had no idea what I was getting into….but I knew that I was to go. I said to my friend the night before, I better shave it may be a sex orgy for all I know!

I was intrigued when he mentioned areas of the body that can hold ‘dust’ as he called it. The jowls, the solar plex’s and the perineum. From my own personal work, I also knew that droopy eyelids should be included in the list. I began to wonder if the fat, just above the scars at my bikini line were also a place containing dust.

In this Bio Dynamics work, (something that anyone can do) there is a sitter upper and someone lying on the table. In this case, the sitter upper holds the space for the healing of the bodies’ own wisdom.

I was lying on the table, he came and laid hands on my jowls. He did each person lying down for about a minute as an example. When he left me, my awareness was drawn to someone holding my lower back and their other hand on the perineum. Certainly no one physically was. Next it came time for the sitter upper to do a session and at one point she did the same hold as I had previously felt. I began to panic. I got hot flashes my breathing became quick, I wanted to throw the blanket off…I remembered what Charles had said, “When you get into a dust storm you have 2 choices, be with it or leave. It is simply a portal, an invitation to go deeper. So I consciously began the breathing practice that he had been teaching. The sitter upper, also recognized the change in my breathing and had begun wondering for herself, what to do…she also re-grounded and rode it out with me. (I’m grateful).

Over the years, trying to master “Be Still and know that I am God….Be still and know, Be still…I’ve attended countless meditation classes and workshops including moving meditations like QiGong.

I get many dust storms while on my journey to find me and though I know what to do, sometimes I just wallow in panty twist mode.

I’m happy to show this method to anyone who wants to know. It can be healing for your family and friends and it’s just simply touching. Your family and friends can also do it for you! Once we get out of the way, the wisdom of the body is free to heal. The work begins with our breath.

So for the last two days, I was immersed once again in lessons of letting go, of my preconceived ideas of what the workshop was or wasn’t going to be. Trusting, my apprehension of attending as I knew no one, I knew nothing about the group attending, not even the facilitator and receiving, what was there for me to learn, deepen my relationship with myself, with the Mystery of it all (God) and the gentle touch of my healing partner.

Interesting note: As I’m writing this, thunder, lightning and the angels chimes are going crazy. It’s early in the morning and the storms usually come in the afternoon!

Saturday, September 10

A HAPPY NEW ADDITION IS COMING TO YOUR FAMILY!




This is the angel card that comes up quite often for me! It’s a surprise! When I think of new addition I think of baby.....or perhaps in my case a dog. It’s funny how our perceptions limit our thinking. Maybe a new addition could be a room addition:) Truly the possibilities are endless.

I woke up at 1:30AM night before last, got up and worked on my projects until 6AM at which time I still couldn’t sleep. Needless to say, I was not at the top of my game for the day. A bit teary all day, emotions were stirring. (A gift to me to see what else still needs attention and healing.) I’ve organized a couple of workshops and community events here in Tubac and I was struggling with the fact of my being the first speaker at one of the events. After asking several people, the deadline came and I plugged myself in. It’s exactly what I want to do, but when the tire hits the pavement, I’m too willing to let it go to another...more experienced, more interesting....ok, hold on....interesting? I’ve lived for 2 years in a suitcase, that IS interesting.....Well, the point being I was in a funk...

Text message arrives from my youngest son, (Now 26) "Don’t be butt hurt, but I just got married, it was totally spur of the moment!’ Involuntary tears rolled down my cheeks....text from me....Congratulations! Why the tears? Our family does live non-traditionally and he, his girlfriend & her son) have been a family for quite awhile. Seems ultra smart on many levels....The party to follow in the fall will be fun with less drama and less money! OK, why the tears? My youngest...time marches on? Haven’t quite figured it out yet.

The angel chimes on the porch are going crazy as I write this....sending their love and support and we had the biggest storm of the monsoon season here last night.....hours of thunder/lightning/rain and hail.....A pure and total cleansing of the past....new beginnings with POWER...the power of love, forgiveness, HAPPINESS, LAUGHTER & JOY!


I had just cleaned a house, had $50, (5 representing change) wrote a card (one that my daughter had made) and mailed it filled with love and the above intentions.

The new addition.....a beautiful new daughter and her son.....while they’ve always been a part of the family, now it’s ‘official!’ I’m so happy for them. It’s lovely to have someone you love to walk beside, support and love you on your life’s journey. For me, Time Marches On.......and I’m off to Tuson for 2 days of Cranial Sacral training.....

Sunday, September 4

DO WHAT YOU LOVE TO DO, FOLLOW YOUR HEART, LIVE YOUR PASSION!




What do all 3 movies have in common?
Do what you love to do, follow your heart, live your passion.
Never give up
Doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, go for your dreams!

I’ve had the movie Julia/Julie on for background noise and it’s played all the way through several times and I had not ever watched it. Tonight I decided to sit and watch the movie and I was inspired. Julia Child’s life was inspiring as she didn’t give up, even when she was told she had no talent for cooking! In her first cooking class she had only 3 students that payed $2 each which barely covered the cost of the food! She just continued doing what she loved to do following her own path on her life’s journey. She, like I, had people supporting her which gave her the courage to continue on.

In the movie 'The Pursuit of Happyness’ the father said to his son, “Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t do something, not even me! You got a dream, you gotta protect it! You want something, go out and get it...Period!”

And in the movie 'Little Miss Sunshine,’ "Do what you love to do and f*@# the rest!" were the words of the teenage son who was tired of everyone telling him what he couldn’t do.

This is the journey of life, figuring out what you love and doing it. Appreciating the love and support that you get from others along the way. Don’t ever give up, don’t let anyone discourage you! You got a dream....Go for it!

Saturday, September 3

LIFE’S A BEACH



I had the good fortune of having a wonderful friend who lives at Huntington Beach CA. Each year when she takes a vacation, It’s been my pleasure to housesit....I grew up at the beach and so I love this opportunity.

Usually, I have a critter or two to care for, but this year, there was quite the group. A lovely dog, 2 long haired guinea pigs,(one died while I was there and of course, I tried to use the wand on him:) to revive him! A little gecko who dined on crickets, 2 little turtles, who can climb out of their tub on the leaves of the plants, a beta fish who eats one worm at a time and has to be hand fed, a tank with a couple of fish, a frog and a big fish who wants to eat every time he sees you!

The alarm on her car would go off randomly and the little buttons on the key were all worn out and so there was no way to turn it off. I had lovely visits from my daughters, son in law and met some great people. One daughter had a pretty bad encounter with a wave (which we wanded!) To say the least the 10 days were filled with excitement.

Lying on the beach with one of my daughters, thinking about the projects, our finances etc, we take a moment to look at each other, realizing the blessings that we have. While our life styles are not ‘regular’ we’re staying at a beautiful home with a top deck, high above the other homes, we’re playing at the beach in the middle of the day and we’re flying in a helicopter with some of my daughter’s friends who work for the sheriff’s department....and we’re complaining about....what? We don’t have a ‘job?’ We’ve never missed a meal nor not had a place to lie our heads at night.

Living a kind of 'vision quest’ life style....never knowing what’s next....comes with it’s panty twists and life lessons of learning to let go, trust and receive. And now and then I long for security and a pay check....but it quickly passes! Actually that’s not true, it doesn’t pass quickly, but it does pass. HAVE A LOVELY HOLIDAY....TRY TO DO SOMETHING FUN!

Thursday, September 1

THE JOURNEY



I work, I plan, I create, money goes out, nothing comes in....it’s exhausting!

I call my friend, just hearing his voice makes me cry....what are the tears about?

I become acutely aware of the fact that I do not fit in, I’m different. I think I come from a different planet...

For the first time in 11 years, I’ve allowed myself to become a member of a group, the Master Minds. Are the tears, that once I let others get close, I feel like running? Run where?

I’m sensitive to the fact that I do appreciate the friends and family in my life who honor my life path. Accepting and loving me always and understanding when I go underground. They are not offended by the amount of time that goes by before I resurface and connect once again. I want to say now how much I love and appreciate you! Thank you!

The angel cards that I have been pulling relate to the fact that 'hang in there', the tide is getting ready to turn... I flash back to a memory of telling my mother in the middle of the night, “It’s always darkest before the dawn, just a little while longer before it gets light out!” But I just say Fuck you....it’s all talk....nothing changes....except my constant challenge of financing my projects.....I figure it out, sell the house, the house unsells...what the hell? I continue to borrow....

The song that comes on the radio, from the Beatles, All my Lovin’...what are the chances this old Beatle song would play on the radio and not an Oldies station. I’m aware, I inwardly try to give thanks and yet,it feels just like another promise....

I head off to a meeting at a Retirement facility and before I walk in, I wonder how I can go in there after crying all the way there....my cell phone beeps....an email that simply reads, 'Please Advise, Pati’s travel/speaking schedule.’

Wow! Someone is out there....someone is listening...someone does care what I have to share.....

My theory is correct....God throws a bone. We get one brick laid on the path that we are traveling at a time...we stand, waiting for the next to be laid....I begin looking for wildflowers and ants while I wait.....can I enjoy the wait...can I enjoy the journey....because after all that’s really all there is....The Journey.....