In the next stage of GPS for Living, rewrites, I was going though some notes that I have kept over the past 10 years of my personal growth journey. i stumbled upon some old codependency writings and dang if I didn’t still see myself there. While I have improved tremendously, I could see that there is still healing and work that needs to take place.
The line that caught my attention this morning was, "The least bit of disapproval, they’ll clam up and say whatever you want.’
I recognized that I said this to one of my friends just the other night. (Male, of course, however can simply be someone we perceive as having authority.) I feel like we are always on opposite sides, as we see life differently. I had always thought that our friendship was just the refiner’s fire of my old boss. Simply more practice in being conscious and seeing where I still give myself away. (Not wanting to face disapproval.)
Now while I did succumb to his opinion (I can’t remember exactly what we were even talking about) this time, I now remember that I also stood up for myself a bit earlier. I actually blogged about the night that this group of men and I were having a conversation about the Master Cleanse. My friend was trying to shhhhhhh me! It was OK for me to be shhhhhhed, as long as I didn’t upset the owner. I didn’t shhhhhhhhh and so, kudos to me!
My daughter is here visiting and when I took her to the Cheers Bar, where I get to see where I am still needing approval and teasing (attention), as we left, she said, “I don’t like the way that they treat you in there!” Good for her! I grew up with teasing, dumb blonde jokes etc., for me, it can be what love feels like. Great reminder....thanks!
It’s not about winning. It is simply about standing up for the little ones inside of us, who get tamped down or shhhhhhed!
It’s been how they’ve survived childhood. Seen and not heard.
I’m grateful for these insights as they have helped me connect a few more dots in my healing process.
I’m including the other one lines here today to see if any of them help you. Happy Journey!
Co dependents
Can’t communicate
Can’t challenge authority
The least bit of disapproval, they’ll clam up and say whatever you want
Wouldn’t say anything to hurt the feelings of another and yet would hurt themselves
Try very hard to be perfect and take criticism to heart as they’ve tried so hard.
Do for others
Do without
Look for sales
Buy what’s on sale, not what they want
Don’t feel worthy of the time of another
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