Who will you be when you realize you weren't who you thought you were?

Who will you be when you realize you weren't who you thought you were? 

No longer are you child, mother, father, sibling…whatever used to define you. 

One day I woke up and discovered that I had been fired from being a mother, my children had grown up!  Certainly to some degree, I'll always be that, but I really shifted from the mother role to a peer role with my children. 

It took a lot of counseling and conscious work to make this shift and though I still struggle with it at times, I've come to use the following two questions in wanting to support but not live their lives. When they come to me with a question or need, I simply use these questions that I learned from crashing my dad's van in a snow storm. "Are you okay? and What can I do to help you?" 

This gives the other, (no matter the age) not only support and encouragement to live their life, but it also allows them the dignity of making their own choices. 

The question for us then becomes: Who and what am I going to do with all the free time I'm going to have? Think back and try to remember What makes you smile and what brings you joy? 

Hint: It can't be someone or something else. Happy Hunting!