BENJAMIN BUTTON - USING ALL LIFE AS A MIRROR

Benjamin Button has been claimed as a healing dog and in the short time that I've had him, he's already had several assignments besides me. (See my previous blog about Benjamin)

I'm having a bit of trouble moving forward today, still in reflection and so I'm just going to share with you how the process of using all life as a mirror looks in case you may find it valuable in your life. 

But, before I do that, I just want to say, that I KNOW that all is well with me and Benjamin. Still crying, still in bed, not really seeing any point to get out of bed, I asked for guidance and pulled an angel card, it was from Yvonne, the angel of pets. The short of it, "You have a special bond with animals. Your pets on earth and in heaven are being watched over by angels."

Benjamin as a mirror: He was a male, so I used him as a reflection of the male relationships in my life. He is loving and accepting of me just as I am. I have an Irish friend who it the same. I had to wonder do I just like men who don't like me and the ones who do....I push or send them away? Just noticing.

I noticed that I got very emotional whenever I would talk about how Benjamin reacted to loud voices or coward down to a raised hand. I was his advocate. (I was being the advocate for the little one in me who had no one to advocate for her in the past.) I would say, "The only discipline that he needs is just to be told." I had to get down to his level and softly say, "Benjamin come," and he did every time. But kept his distance at a raised body or voice. He responded to love and affection. A mirror for myself.

When I first got him, I could see how I really felt about being in relationship. "I don't want to have to answer to you! I don't want to come home before I'm ready. I don't want to feel guilty that you're home and I'm not!" All areas in my past life that I got an opportunity to re-look at. But even more than that, I was able to know that he was safe and provided for at home and I got over feeling like I had to hurry home, something that I had done in my past life. (Which causes anger; saying yes when I meant no.)

I was able to see where I possibly still think more of men than myself. (I was raised this way.) I was so concerned that Benjamin get a good home, that I wondered if I had abandoned myself in what was best for me. Just wondering. But then, was giving him a new home best for us both? 

The last time I cried like this was when a male friend came to visit and left earlier than expected. This of course I took personally as one of my wounds if from the masculine. I was able to see how I may continue to "I'll leave you before you can leave me!" It's funny, it seems to hurt the same.

Benjamin showed me how to take time for my own self-care in the middle of life. We stopped, took bike rides, walks etc, and there still seemed to be time to complete my work. (Something I talk about but have trouble putting into practice.) 

I've been writing for the past month about the mirror of Benjamin, but you get the idea. And this method of seeing ourselves more clearly can be used with anything. 

I have spent many hours and tears in what I call 'tuition' for higher education. Yes, he cost me money, something I couldn't afford if looked at logically. But I still haven't missed any meals. And what education is free? 

Maybe the day is well spent, even if I do stay in bed, reflect, feel, do breath work to heal the places that have been revealed to me. And embrace the life lessons that I received from Benjamin; remaining in gratitude for what he's given to me, I to him and the support from Spirit assuring all is well.