THE RIVERBEND RETREAT HOUSE

Today it was with joy and sadness that I packed the last of my things and said goodbye to The Riverbend Retreat House in Grass Valley. I had spent several days there alone in ceremony and reflection, a most magnificent gift to me. Putting the last bits and pieces into my friend’s car reminded me of two years ago when I began this journey of letting go of everything and living in a suitcase and backpack. At the very end, it’s a matter of just getting it out of the house and dealing with the remnants later.

My last night there for some reason it was necessary for me to do a through cleaning and I had to be sure that all of the lights were working with two light bulbs in each fixture. (I now see that I needed to be sure that I needed to leave “The Light” behind and 2 representing balance of the masculine and feminine, which was this house.)

As I awoke this AM, the last time I would awake in my old bedroom, I looked at the only original door on the house. When we were putting in new doors, I just couldn’t bear to let this old beauty go. I remembered my dad buying a door for the bathroom which had only a shower curtain over it and the new beautiful front door with the oval shaped beveled leaded glass in it and my resistance to it all.

Many years have passed and much healing was present for me in this sacred place. I met the new owners, something that I hadn’t wanted to do. While I knew that selling this house was in Divine Order, like I can sometimes do, I was still holding on and resisting, saying one thing but I definitely had my brakes on. I was to meet the mother who was buying this house for her daughter and 2 year old grand daughter. I knew it was in alignment with my intentions of this property.

As I walked out the front door for the last time, I remembered thinking how I resisted buying my new car. I had such trouble seeing myself bigger and in a lovely car. I had done the same thing with the woman who was buying my car for her grandson. I said yes but put up many roadblocks. Finally, I explained to her how hard this was for me. The next day when she brought the cash for the car, she also brought a bouquet of flowers and a thank you note which read, “By your willingness to move forward in your life, allows my grandson the same opportunity. Thank You.” I knew that was the case for this house as well.

Before I left, I had bought a cupid angel and a heart picture frame with gold trim on it and a card that was in black and white. It was a scene from the Wizard of Oz, with Toto and his basket and Dorothy’s red shoes...which were sparking red and inside it read, “Welcome to your new home!”

My friend and I began our journey back to Arizona down Hwy 49 which equals a 4 (angel support and continued our journey on Hwy 99 which equals 9 (completion). We had many options when leaving and I found it interesting when I noticed the roads we chose.

I’m not saying it was easy but I am saying I know it was right for me in this moment. The tears are flowing but I mostly think they’re tears of awe, thanksgiving and love for the shelter and opportunities this property has provided for me. And it is with deep gratitude in my heart that I say AHO...a Native American term with many meanings, for me...a heart felt Thank you! And So it Is.....