ADDED NOTE: ALL WHO WANDER ARE NOT LOST!

CURRENT TRIP

I’m still here in Chicago, in the land of ice and no sun! They say....it’s going to snow tonight!

I had an insightful conversation with a friend about my current lifestyle. It was brought to my attention, “Why do you get to live this amazing life while the rest of us have to work for what we get? You have others who take care of you!” (Some others don’t see it as amazing at all, but rather not having a place to call home, or ‘things’ to call their own, can be rather a burden! We all have different life journeys!)

My answer: Because I had the courage to let go of the illusion of security and follow the doors that opened up for me, even when I didn’t understand how things could possibly work out, trusting that my needs would be met. I’ve not missed a meal, not slept on the side of the road ...yet!

This may sound like Pollyanna thinking, however, my old way of life was not working any longer. I had to find a new way to move in the world or kill myself. Truly, I saw these as my options and if I hadn’t killed myself the doctors would have with all of their well intentions of pills to help me through my troubled times. I could no longer continue to live the way I had been living and working for the past 40 years. My hand was forced.

AND, Yes, I had to learn to receive. It is probably one of the most difficult parts on my vision quest. But what I have learned is that when I say No to the Universe/God, the God/ the Universe starts to say No to me. When I can’t receive a gift, it stops the flow of energy. People can’t give gifts if others won’t receive them.

I also know that recovering from co-dependency tendencies, that sometimes people offer things, not wanting you to say yes. However, the practice for me is to say yes to receiving in order for me to learn balance. I have to trust that everyone is speaking from their heart and won’t offer what they do not want to give. I have to accept that while another may offer me physical support, I too offer myself in the friendship, after all, isn’t that truly all that we have to offer to this world? The gift of ourselves?

A song from Michael Jackson comes to my mind: Human Nature:

If They Say -

Why, Why, Tell ‘Em That Is Human Nature

I Like Livin’ This Way...