I don’t know if this is helpful to anyone, but I’ve told you about the personal issues I’m going through dealing with a relationship in my life that I was unwilling to participate in any longer...my renters!
It’s taken a lot of coaching from my trusted friends. (I’ve received a lot of advice as to what I should do and in the end, I took the advice from the people who are renting to good tenants who pay on time. Just to clarify: I’m not saying my tenants aren’t good people, I’m only saying I want tenants who pay on time without incident.)
I ended up hiring legal help as I have heard the horror stories. We started with their 30 day notice. The emails began. Begging, pleading and can’t you see our side....Oh wait, I’ve already got that lesson, stay strong, Pati! The first of the month came, no rent. We were able to give them a 3 day pay or quit notice. The emails continued. 5 days later, (because of the laws:) we went to court (because after many attempts, were not able to serve them in person) and we were able to serve them with a court summons, of 10 days to answer or vacate.
Last night, I received an email from the tenant, asking me to stop this 'silly and unnecessary court order.' All along, he’s made it sound like my fault and I’m acting irrationally. I bring this up because this is very manipulative behavior and a bait that I would previously have bitten on before. @ell, actually struggled with even in this instance, to show how another person in our lives can try to get us to see/do things their way by using guilt. It was the silly and unnecessary court order that got their attention! All the rest was just blowing smoke.
If I hadn’t had my shaman, trusted friend and daughter consulting with me, pointing out the obvious (to them) I possibly would have gone back into the 'mommy protection’ mode. I have had much practice at this and had come too far to back slide, though I easily could have.
Today I pulled the angel card Caressa: Self destruction tendencies are caused from guilt. The underlying cause of not taking care of ourselves is guilt. I could really see this is true in my life. I’ll do anything first, besides take time to take care of me. Why? I’m so wretched for upsetting the lives of others?
When I left my husband and found a place for my teen age son to live. I had made the decision that he should have the master bedroom. Why? It was because of what I had done that ruined the lives of my family. He should have the nice room. A very wise friend said to me, “That is out of order! You will take the master bedroom!” God Bless Her! (I would have caused harder lessons for my son in the long run had I not heeded my friend’s advice.)
While I’m semi-strong enough to make the moves forward, the emotions that still need healing for me is the little one inside who thinks that she has wrecked the lives of her family (by leaving) and now these tenants.
As I see it, it was just the Refiner’s Fire. My tenants were simply the angels that came into my life to say, “Hey, Pati, are you going to stand up for yourself through all of this or will you back down?
I know that I’ve passed, as I got no charge from the email (I didn’t read it of course, I had my daughter just tell me anything that I needed to know) and I have no anxiety or emotions about the money, it’s just business!
YAHOO!!! Now, if I can get the take care of yourself part down:) Happy Day!!!!
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