In the recent months I have a friend and we’ve had a lovely time together. After my trip to Ireland something had changed and yet he never talked about it. Me, being aware of trying to live life consciously, noticed and asked him about it. What had changed for him while I was away?
True to form, for a codependent, he wouldn’t say, actually he couldn’t say. Why? A codependent feels like someone is digging a knife into their heart for them to say or do something that would (possibly) hurt the feelings another. How do I know? It’s me!
The problem is however, that when we skirt around the issues at hand, in the long run, it is so much more painful than the sting of the initial first blow. Certainly there are tears involved and maybe even unkind words are exchanged. But like a splinter when left untreated, our feelings fester and the pain intensifies and we make excuses for their behavior.
MAN UP and say what it is that you need to say. What do you want in YOUR life? Don’t wait for another to dictate what they want. If you’re not feeling loved, heard or appreciated, (personal or professional) in your relationships decide what YOU want!
Always come from a place of strength and clarity. Sometimes it takes quite awhile for the clarity to come but once it does, the strength follows.
With this friend of mine, I call it the Refiner’s Fire. It is reminiscent of a past relationship that I hung onto for 6 years, knowing that he just wasn’t that into me. I would make excuses, but he said, he called, he....whatever, get over it! This time, it was only 6 months! YAHOO!!!!!
If you find yourself in a situation where you’ve been clear in your communication and your needs and desires aren’t being met, then CHOOSE YOU, every time!!!! (Off to LA for a conference! Have a great rest of the week!!!!!)
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