Seeing yourself bigger is hard. I would say it is the hardest part of the process, however, it is all hard work, make no mistake about it. Very few are born into who they were meant to become. Remember, it’s The Journey of the Soul.
Here I am, ten years into conscious living and I had set the intention that after I had gotten back from my last trip to Switzerland and Ireland that it felt like I would be ready to have a place to ground for awhile. The paper I had written on my altar read, “I want a lovely place to live and work.” Before I left on my trip, a house sitting job appeared. It was a beautiful authentic Spanish style hacienda with the most charming veranda and gardens. The first thing that I thought as I walked into the stunning courtyard, was retreat space! Now, I was thinking about retreat space for others, but so far, it has been retreat space for myself.
When I first saw the place, I was trying to decide if I would live in the guesthouse or the main house. When the furniture to furnish the main house appeared, I knew that I was to stay in there. My first day, I felt like goldilocks. The main house was too big, the guesthouse was too small, the master bedroom was just right (very large in itself! But there was coziness to it. It seemed like the main house was for retreats and guesthouse was for guests. I had to grow into where I was to live for the next 8 months. As lovely as the guesthouse was, it was familiar. I knew the size and I knew I could live there easily. But the furniture arrived for the big house. There could be no mistake that this was the space that was intended for my use. OK…I’ll have to grow myself into it! Expand!
While explaining my dilemma to a friend, she told me the story of when she bought her new, full size luxury car. She had been wanting an Acura and yet when she received it, she couldn’t drive it for the longest time. She kept driving her husband’s little Toyota pick-up. She had to grow herself into her new luxury space.
Remember that there is a time for everything, many different cycles in life. There is a time for contracting, going inward, living in a cocoon like space. But then, there will come a time when we have to grow ourselves, just as we had to allow our God to grow from our second grade image that we had of Him.
When the time is right, when it’s time for expansion, we will need to grow ourselves into bigger physical spaces as they are presented to us.
Growing the images that we have of ourselves, seeing ourselves bigger, who we were created to be, sharing our passions and the gifts that we were given to contribute to the greater good of the whole, for the highest good of all sentient (conscious) beings, is tough work. We are continually evolving, changing, growing and expanding!
I was constantly writing down, “Who am I today?” What layers have I shed? What has healed? Who am I becoming?
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