A YEAR IN A SUITCASE PART 2

I remember having a vision of the time I had saved a young girl in the Colorado River from drowning. I was very pregnant with our third child, when I ran into the water and of course the first thing that she did was grab my neck. Still to this day, I clearly remember thinking, "We're both not going to drown here!" And I dove down and grabbed her ankles and pushed her towards the shore.

That's how I felt about my marriage. I felt like I way dying, if not literally, certainly emotionally. It was like in the movie, Shall We Dance? How could I not be happy? How could I want more? How ungrateful could a person be? I had husband who was true and didn't gamble or drink. How ungrateful could a person be?

Then, he gave me a gift. It's how I see it now. Of course, this is ten years after the fact. He had a stroke. I absolutely would not have had the courage to leave had it not been a matter of life and death for me!  "We're both not going to drown here!" I remember thinking.

Long story short: I sold my car so I could get rent money for six months and my youngest son and I moved out. Of course, as you may imagine, I was a total basket case. I couldn't stop crying and I even told my son to call from school as we'd probably have to move back, even though I paid for the entire six months rent in advance. 

Then, my dear priest friend called, and asked, "Did you ever think that you're giving someone an opportunity to grow… rather than you've deserted them? 

To this day, he doesn't remember saying it and I'm confident that it came from a  higher source. Another self-defing moment was discovering that it's not my job to be sure that everyone feels no pain. My job is to live MY life!

My latest book, A Year in a Suitcase is on sale this month 2 for $30. Buy one for a gift and I'll even wrap and ship it for you!