WORDS ARE NOT JUST WORDS!

Sometimes, it’s the perceived meaning behind the words that can make them confusing!

Nowadays, with all the different ways of communications, words can even be more confusing than ever! Sometimes we may think another person should be available to us, 24.7, via text or email. That simply shouldn’t be the case. There are times when people need their own space or need to process something and the continual texting, expecting a response and getting angry when the correct words don’t follow can feel a bit like badgering to me.

In the ‘good ol’ days!’ people had to communicate in person or by telephone, (yes, there was the pony express too!) but for my argument we’re going to stay with the fact that when you wanted to communicate with someone, you had to go to the telephone (making time, giving them your full attention), dial the number, wait for them to answer, etc. Many times they were not home and so the process began again. When you connected, you were both fully present for the conversation, hearing inflections and tones of the words.

Recently, I had been having a few communication issues with a friend, which doesn’t surprise me in the least, as my themes in life are 1. clear, direct communication 2. boundaries and 3. self-care. After several days of us not being clear in our communications, we worked together at an Open House. We were trying to decide if I should take the signs to his house or keep them in my car. He said, “You can see how it feels!” Because of our previous conversations, I took this to mean, “Now, you can see how it feels, what you did to me!” He meant, “See how you feel, when you’re finished, do you want to take them with you or bring them to my house?” Had he said, “See how YOU feel.” I would have understood that.

In this world of texting and shortcuts, abbreviations...BFF, LOL, etc...so much is lost in the translations. In Ireland, my professor friend uses no shortcuts or abbreviations and so his text look like a paper that was written to be turned in at college! He had gone to the market one day and I texted him the word, butter. Now I understood that to mean, if you haven’t checked out yet, pick up some butter....he took it to mean, at all costs...don’t come home without butter! You can imagine the conversation that followed!!

The point is, texting, emailing, twittering and Facebook can be like second hand information, getting information from a friend about another friend. Don’t take anything personal, go directly to the source when something is written or said that you aren’t clear about. It will save you many heartaches...guaranteed!!