THE POWER IN PAUSING

Do you live your life in busyness? Has life thrown a few curve balls at you lately... and then you find a moment to breath.... and you find your creative juices flowing and you start thinking up shit to do... buy... change... just because there has been a space to pause.

Do you find that you're not living in the moment and are projecting to days, months and even years later... the What if's?

I see it all around me and why is it that I can recognize it so clearly? It was my life! For years, I'd stuff an hour of work into 5 minutes and when there was space to BE... STILL... I had no idea how to do that or that I should even do that.

Until one day... life came crashing down and I finally heard a speaker, Terry Hershey, a christian speaker no less, talking about the power of pausing. Really?

When I started attending retreats for work (I worked at a church), I remember thinking, all I want to do is sleep... rest.... Don't talk to me... don't make me do anything...

If you find yourself in a situation right now, a stressful... an all time consuming... lifestyle and you find that you have a moment free of chaos and drama, and your creative forces find a space to flow, try not to let them make more work for you or take you away from being with YOU!

I know... it feels weird right? Who is this person that should be our best friend? Who knows... If you're at all like me, I had no idea who I was, who I had been created to be... what gifts I had to share with the world. Why? I stayed busy 24/7. After all, if I got to know me, I might not like me.

Well my darling, I can guarantee you one thing. When you get to know YOU... spend time with YOU... YOU too will see the brilliant bright shining light that is YOU and YOU will love you as much as I do!

HAPPY RESTING SWEET ONE!

Say YES and Adventure will Follow!

One of the great things that happens for me when I travel is that it keeps me conscious. It is so easy for me to get in a rut and routine of doing things, that making a shift periodically in my life helps me to stay awake.

It's never that comfortable to make the transitions and I can easily become depressed and then a bit of a hermit saying an inward NO, to the opportunities that present themselves to me.

My friend was helping with a fundraiser for the Community Food Bank Motorcycle Poker Run, and I said YES to helping her... she had a table at the base of the mountains handing out poker cards. ( I LOVE the mountains!)

Then, she asked me to Happy Hour, (which I hate, for a myriad of reasons). After my initial "No," then, "I don't know, let me think about it," finally turned into a "YES! Why the hell not?"

Because I said YES, I found myself with an invite for a ride on the back of a Goldwing Touring Motorcycle during the up coming poker run. (I LOVE motorcycles!)  You guessed it, I said "YES!" It was a brilliant ride through the back roads of the desert landscape.

What does one have to do to say "YES" when new opportunities arise? Get out of your head!

Stop thinking of all the reasons why you shouldn't or couldn't and let God/The Universe support you in your heart's desire.

I had an invitation for a motorcycle ride a year ago, which never quite manifested itself. Being patient and saying YES to opportunities that were out of my comfort zone, paved the way for this dreamy afternoon.

HAPPY ADVENTURES! 

Self-Care as a Preventative Health Alternative

ETL has applied to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services; Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion; National Health Observance Calendar for Self-Care to be recognized on the National Health Observance Calendar. We are asking that the month of September be recognized as September as Self-Care Awareness Month for the following reasons.

Self-care is a preventative health-care solution. It’s one solution, which is becoming more prominent in our society as evident by all of the social media platforms and ongoing conversations among celebrities, medical professionals, athletes and house-holders alike.

Virtually everyone from parents to caregivers and most people in between can benefit from understanding that neglecting to take personal responsibility for one’s own well-being; physically, emotionally, mentally, as well as spiritually, can masquerade as a myriad of different illnesses, which can be eased with education and practicing self-care techniques.

Our informal research shows that most people think of self-care as getting a massage or manicure, but it is so much more than that. It’s a lifestyle change. It’s becoming an advocate for, and investing in oneself as much as they invest in others. Along with communicating clearly, saying no, and setting boundaries with our time, just to name a few.

While our main focus at ETL is education of the many health benefits that practicing self-care has to offer, we’ve expanded our vision to include physicians, health care providers and legislation, in hopes of encouraging more insurers to pay for treatments.

A Golden... Not to be missed...Opportunity!

Already slipped up on your New Year's Resolution? No worries! 2018 provides us with a second, even better chance, and it's coming right up. A potent window of time occurs in the next few days, one that provides a powerful imprint on the coming months. It's an incredible opportunity to focus on the specifics of what we want to materialize this year. 

A Mars-Jupiter alignment in Scorpio gives surges of energy and slings our intent forward, while strongly supporting a Sun-Venus-Pluto conjunction in Capricorn, which is every bit as scary as it sounds. 

No withering or dithering now! Be clear what you want, and set in motion the process that will make it so. Grab the reins of your own destiny with this powerful configuration which peaks on Monday and Tuesday, January 8-9. A not-to-be-missed opportunity, so make it matter. 

A reprint from my good friend, Linea Van Horn, Astrologer at Large. Contact her at 415.418.9677

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TAKING TIME FOR YOU... A GIFT TO THOSE AROUND YOU!

Especially during the holidays it can be very tempting to let things that we do for ourself to take a back seat.

A colleague of mine, Peter and I recently spoke about the temptation to put off or completely let go of the things that give us life or bring us joy, when we feel pressured for time. 

He was telling me how he and his wife try to go for daily walks together. It's a time where they connect emotionally and talk about things that are important to each of them. Recently when he found himself particularly busy he was tempted to cancel his walk... tempted. But then he caught himself, went for his time away with his wife and when he got back, everything just seemed to flow in after, as he put it.

That lead to a reoccurring conversation that we have about my life. Working on Evolve to Live, there are are so many wheels that need to be turned and often I feel like a juggler trying to juggle many plates in the air and feel overwhelmed. Most times I only work on projects that have energy behind them (things that are fun), which can lead to my feeling like I'm not doing enough.

But as Peter pointed out, "Pati, I've watched you for years. When you do the things that bring you joy, everything else just flows in behind."

It's the same with morning prayer, meditation or exercise. Once we take the time for ourselves, the rest of the day flows in behind and that is a gift to everyone around us.

HOLIDAY - SELF-CARE - ASK...

This morning I was asking a friend for some advice on soliciting corporate sponsors to help finance the promotion of Self-Care Awareness Month, September each year.

We were discussing what to put in a letter and at the very end he added, "Ask for what you want." That question gave me pause for thought. "What is it that I do want," not only in my professional but personal life as well? Recently I read some statistics on why people made their last donation. Overwhelmingly, the answer was because they were asked to. Yes, that's right, simply because they were asked.

What do you suppose that we leave on the table in our own lives simply because we haven't mustered up the courage to ask? And beyond that, what do you suppose that we miss out on, in life because we don't know what it is to ask for?

Discovering what we want isn't such an easy task but asking for it can be even harder.

Many of us were taught that asking questions was impolite. And asking for something for ourselves was, well, I don't really know what the word is, it's worse than impolite, deplorable, that's it! It was deplorable for you to ask for something for yourself. You were viewed as being selfish or self-centered. Well, at least that was my upbringing. But it couldn't have just been mine as not asking for yourself was even depicted in the old movies. I remember one where the nuns weren't allowed to ask for the salt at dinner. They had to wait until someone noticed that they may possibly enjoy having the salt. Are you flippin kidding me? We can't ask, we're not allowed to ask. Or perhaps we just don't ask because we're afraid of the answer.

I had been struggling with this all summer... saying what I wanted to say.... asking questions I wanted answers to but didn't have the courage to ask. When I wrote in my journal, "If I ask, I have to much to loose." Then the answer simply wrote itself on the paper. "If you ask, possibly you have more to gain." Eventually I did ask and while the process wasn't easy to go through, I actually did have more to gain than loose in the situation.

I've come to a place in my life where any question is fair game... to anyone and visa versa. It's not that we have to answer every question posed to us or that we pose to another, but I feel like it is up to the person whom the question is being asked to set a boundary if they don't want to answer it. Otherwise, how will we know if we've left things that we wanted to know but were afraid to ask, out there in the void somewhere.

As the holidays grow ever so near, perhaps we could take some time to decide what it is that we want need or desire or what questions we want answers to... and then ask for it. Yes, it will take some courage. But like me, perhaps you'll have more to gain from asking than from not. If you don't ask, you won't know if it's even a possibility.

Alleviating Holiday Stress - Self-Care

Let’s begin this holiday season putting ourselves at the fore-front of everything that we do.

Yes, you read that correctly! I know, this doesn’t sound at all like holiday cheer does it? But how many times in the past have we said yes to something and then been mad or displayed passive/aggressive behavior…. “I’ll go… but unconsciously be witchy about it!” Or “I’ll do that…” but then give the silent treatment or cold shoulder to another. Let’s not do that this year.

We began September this year unveiling an awareness campaign of the extreme importance of Self-Care in our everyday lives. Taking care of ourselves is not really an option, it is our responsibility not only to ourselves but to our loved ones as well. We need to be sure that we’re in the best physical, mental and emotional health possible to ensure that we have the energy and resources to care for those we love. (Just not at the expense of our happiness and well-being.)

Let’s take this new found information into one of the most stressful times of the year… the holidays… where we can take on too much… say yes to too many things… and find ourselves not only frazzled but resentful as well.

What are some things that we can do to help alleviate some of the pressure and make the holidays more joy-filled for not only ourselves but for those around us as well? For the ease of the season, all we need to remember are just a couple of things.

1. Only do the things that bring YOU joy! Don’t do anything from obligation or guilt.) When we’re happy, that translates to everyone around us being happy too.

2. Ask for what you need and accept the help without trying to control the outcome. This will take trusting that everything will be perfect just the way it is.

Then simply say “Thank you, you have no idea how much what you’ve done to help me means to me.” That’s it. We can just start with these two simple things to help make the holidays less stressful. Now, go ahead and enjoy the holiday season to the fullest with a new sense of peace and relaxation. (PS… your new found sense of peace and relaxation will translate to those around you!)

Walking A Mile in Another Person's Shoes

This weekend I found myself wanting to make some cash and to do something fun. So I got on over to Craigslist and under the Help Wanted, Events, I found a gig as a cashier at a carnival about an hour away. I had applied on Friday and the position had been filled, but early Saturday I received a call and the position was offered to me. YES! Sounded like fun and I've always wanted to go to Wilcox, where the Apple Orchards are and it's even apple season. Super Cool!

Twelve to twelve, a twelve hour shift of standing basically in one place and then the clean up! Ugh!
I was exhausted and every inch of my body hurt and I had an hour drive home at midnight. The owner felt sorry for this old lady and told me to come in Sunday at noon instead of eleven. Okay.

I thought of my sister and her recent breast cancer surgery and her unwillingness to rest and take care of herself. Although I've accepted that she gets to live her life the way that she wants to, it also saddens me that we're a society where there are so many taboos around self-care.

Then I took another look at what I just did and will do again next weekend. The very same thing, pushing through in order to make a buck. Now, that's not the whole truth of it all, but that's the part that surfaced for me and I was able to understand my sister's decision better.

I also got to feel how it feels to be so completely exhausted that you can't speak. Of course, I've felt this many times in my life, but in the near past, I live a pretty stress free life. I was having a hard time understanding when my current roommate arrives home from work, he grunts like a caveman for hello. Now I get it! You're just too exhausted to do or say anything else.

To balance it all out, Sunday morning I took the time to explore Wilcox, a produce stand and an orchard before my shift started. It's fall and the corn maze, hay rides, pumpkin picking and children laughing all were in full swing. The hour drive back on Sunday evening in the desert twilight was pure magic.

Being able to see things from another person's perspective is helpful in living life free of judgements and with compassion. And the ultimate hope is that we can be as compassionate and judgement free for ourselves.

Remember to Be Good to Yourself!
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Day 16 - Body Image Meat Suit

Why is this so hard to get?

From my time in Ireland with a shaman, I came to appreciate the fact that not all souls have the privilege of having a body and no matter what kind of body we have, it's a gift!

In this life, our bodies help our spirits to experience things that they can't without one. Our bodies are really God with Skin on. As important as Spirit is in our lives, we're just that important to Spirit because of our bodies.

And so, it's so sad that so many of us... including me... struggle with our body image. Gratitude... that's the appropriate response for our meat suit.

Growing up in SoCal,  I did all the things one does to keep in shape, because heaven forbid... I didn't want to be one of those fat old ladies! And then life goes on and you find yourself just able to get up and breathe each morning and nothing else mattered... And my body had changed.

Taking Aquatic Massage, my instructor lived at a clothing optional hot springs.  She wore a suit during her sessions because she said the space between the client and therapist must be neutral. I asked her about her personal experience of being naked in the hot springs as an older women. She simply said, "I feel nothing but gratitude. Just look around. That man took off his leg before entering and that woman has only one breast. There are all shapes and sizes. It's all good!"

Why then do we have such trouble? Of course... we want to be healthy. But beyond that there is a feeling lurking around many of us of being not good enough. Good enough for whom? We have a meat suit! Wow!

When I was about 50, I spent a summer in a small town in So Az and because I had no money for air conditioner, I found that if I didn't wear clothes, I didn't get hot. And because the property was completely fenced, it was doable. Still trying to accept myself completely as I was, I took it one step further and for a very short period that summer, I began watching porn. I know... but it was the only way that I could see the bodies of other women and give myself permission to have my body. We basically all have the same parts... beautiful!

I thought that I was completely over body image, and while I'm clearly not, (refer to Day 13) I find the gift in this challenge is to once again remind myself of the gift that a body is to the soul. To accept, love and appreciate all of its parts and allow myself the space to grieve the loss of the parts no longer with me... my appendix, uterus and ovaries. It is with deep gratitude for the joy they've brought me as a woman. I'm thankful for the reminder of this challenge... to love and accept me... all parts of my meat suit. 

Day 14 - Self-Care Awareness Challenge - UNPLUG - GET A LIFE!

The invitation for Day 14 of the Self-Care Awareness Month Challenge was to UNPLUG... I suppose to unplug from anything that we are too over consumed with, but in our society today, unplug from electronics. For me, I even unplug from the news and daily morning news talk shows.

I'm not sure when it became the 'norm' to be available to everyone 24/7. I know the excuses; My work... I have children... I'm in a relationship, etc. Not to even mention how we've become addicted to social media, sharing every last thought, what we ate, what we're doing, and we give our opinions and viewpoints on everything under the sun, even things we know nothing about.

In my world, unplugging is easier than plugging in! My phone is always on silent, not vibrate and my texts only come when I turn my phone on, which allows me to be present in each moment with whomever I'm with or with whatever I'm doing. I know, it seems a bit antiquated, but it works for me. I'm not always jumping every time a text, email comes in. And I don't get regular updates on social media, I only know what's happening... when I physically choose to go to their pages and take a look.

What can I say... it gives me peace and I feel calm. I get to keep up on whatever... but on my terms. (Now that's true Self-Care!) No one is so indispensable that they have to be available whenever someone else decides. By unplugging, I put myself in control of my life.

But... you say, "What if someone needs me?" I would argue, that not being available to them 24/7, gives them time to figure out things for themselves. We're giving others an opportunity to grow. The hardest part of unplugging is that we can feel the void of not being needed or having a purpose in life. There's the real invitation... GET A LIFE for yourself and you won't be so plugged into everyone else.

Week 13 - Self Care Awareness Month Challenge - Start a Compliments File

I'm a little behind on posting my experiences of the 30-Day Self-Care Awareness Month Challenge.
I read through them everyday, but as I believe in Divine Timing, I am trusting that the perfect time for this challenge for me was today. We were invited to begin a Compliment File for ourselves.

My daughter and grand baby had just left from a week long visit and the void left space for unhealed feelings to emerge, as always happens for me when I transition from one project to the next. This time was even more intense for me as I had just watched the video of my last television appearance promoting Self-Care Awareness Month on a morning talk show.

I found myself quickly going down a rabbit hole that I wasn't sure I could find my way back. Start a compliments file... you've got to flipping be kidding me! No Way! I couldn't find one thing nice to say about me!

I've been struggling with getting older. Getting older in itself doesn't really bother me, but how my looks change in relation to how I feel makes me very sad. I still feel 19... until I look in the mirror, and I don't even recognize who I am. So watching me... or a version of me... on television was just more than I could take.

I won't bore you with the details... but I needed to go to bed to get out of my pain. I felt bad that for all my body and  has given/provided for me, that I had nothing nice to say. So, I went to bed and through the tears tried to say one thing nice to this old gal. A compliments file? Let me see if I can just find one.

Self-Love - Day 8 - Self-Care Awareness Month 30-Day Challenge

Here we are at Day 8 on the 30 Day Self-Care Awareness Challenge... with the palm of your hand on a mirror, look yourself in the eyes and say, I LOVE YOU, 10 times! I wanted to write about this because it's hard as well as powerful.

Whew! I've been doing this work for many years and have done this very exercise many times and yet it never looses its potency for accepting myself just as I am.... over and over... again!

When I first began my journey of self-discovery, I was living in a beautiful home in southern Arizona that was completely fenced and had a wrap-around veranda. In trying to learn to appreciate and love all of me, I spent the summer in the nude. Now, 10 years later not only do I still struggle with my body image, I'm still very aware of the areas that I feel lack or not enough.

I took this exercise a bit deeper. I broke up my life into decades and said I LOVE YOU, to me in each stage of my life. I began with pre-birth. I LOVE YOU... I knew you before you were born.

I went to me in the womb. I LOVE YOU, knowing I was an unwanted child.

Next decade, age 1-10, I LOVE YOU, visualizing me as a child, feeling all the parts that I was told were unloveable.

Ages 10-20, I LOVE YOU, in those very awkward years of feeling like no one could love me.

Ages 20-30, I LOVE YOU, finding love and meaning in relationship and family.

Ages 30-40, I LOVE YOU, as the children grew and began finding their own path in life... and realizing that I wasn't a part of it. (I had to get my own life!)

Ages 40-50, I LOVE YOU, as the invitation (discontentment) to the path of self-discovery began showing itself.

Age 50-60, I LOVE YOU, accepting my path for living my life as untraditional and magical, when I rest into it and say yes to the doors that open. Still struggling with my side kick - 'not good enough.'

Let's see, that leave 2 more, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU... you're perfect just the way you are. You're made in the likeness and image of the creator, how can that not be perfect.

Pati, looking into my eyes with one hand on the mirror, I say one last time with true heartfelt meaning, I LOVE YOU.

DON'T POSTPONE THE JOY!

Day 6 of the Self-Care Awareness 30-Day Challenge invites us to take the time to discover what brings us joy in our life? What lights us up? What puts a smile on our face.

When working with clients, I also add, "It can't be SOMEONE or SOMETHING." Well, that takes loads of things out of the equation. Now, I'm not saying that people or things can't bring you joy, but when you're trying to discover your passion for living, people and things are just on the surface.

Why can't it be someone or something? A few reasons. First, as I mentioned, they are not deep down desires of who you were created to be. What brings you real joy and puts a smile on your face is something deep within your being. It's a soul calling. It's a gift that you've been given to share with the world.

Secondly, SOMETHING... will always go away. It may bring you joy for a bit, but it's not the passion deep within. SOMEONE... is on their own life's journey path... and at some point will venture off to follow their hearts desire even if you're not ready.

Nope... to discover what truly brings you joy in your life, you may have to ask someone from childhood. "What did I like to do? Play?" Many times, in becoming an adult we loose sight of what we used to love.

So while the challenge today is to discover and show what brings you joy in your life, if you'd like to go deeper... begin noticing... what really brings ME joy! What makes ME happy?

DON'T POSTPONE THE JOY!

COMFORT FOR THOSE MOURNING

One last word on the subject:

Years ago while in intuitive massage school, a place helping one to trust their intuition, I walked past the library and randomly picked up a book. It was written by someone claiming to have channeled John Lennon.

As I read with apprehension, I was intrigued with one of the things that John Lennon said. He was addressing his fans who years after his death were still mourning his passing.  I personally witnessed the many people who gathered at the edge of Central Park in New York next to the apartment where Lennon had lived, singing his songs and still wondering how could such a thing have happened.

John's advise was that we had to stop all the negativity! He said that he was trying as best he could from his position to take all the negativity and transmute it into positive but that we had to learn to do this for ourselves.

It may also be comforting to know that he felt no pain after he was shot. From the book  Peace at Last: The After-Death Experiences of John Lennon, John explains:

John: I lived the lifestyle of wanting to love everybody, wanting everybody to have the hope in each other that we can create a mutual language of acceptance, a mutual language of love.

John: It didn’t surprise me, either. I didn’t try to defend myself or plea for my life. Once my transition happened, it was such a blow to the body that there wasn’t really a moment of sustaining itself. I felt I was out of the body before I hit the ground.

Interviewer: So you didn’t suffer at all, then?

John: No, no I didn’t. I remember looking at my mouth, standing above my body on the sidewalk, looking at my mouth, and it’s moving like it’s trying to breathe. My chest is pumping itself. And in that one moment, I thought, ‘It’s true! We are fish out of water.’

Me: Oh, my. What an epiphany.

I offer this here to possibly ease any pain of those who have lost a loved one to a tragic ending.
May peace and love prevail! 

A YEAR IN A SUITCASE PART 3

It was black outside and there was no one on the freeway that I noticed. But then, I wasn’t noticing anything. I could have been in a different state or on another planet for that matter! My brain was in a fog!

Earlier in the day, I had received a phone call from my daughter. She and one of my son’s had left our home in Northern Cal to attend college in Southern Cal a few weeks previously and she had called to ask me what to do. She was used to me having all the answers and fixing things. The doctor’s were recommending that my son have emergency stomach surgery. But for the first time in my life, I couldn’t fix this. I had no answers! In fact, I had driven past the airport ½ hr before I realized where I was or where I was going.

Life wasn’t turning out at all as I had expected. In fact, I was having many little and not so little earthquakes that were shaking my life. And each time a tremor appeared… I did my best to shore up the wall that was starting to crash. I thought that was my job…. To be sure that nothing changed and no one felt any pain. They were happening so frequently that I even got smart with God saying, “Is this it…. Is this as good as you can do….. Bring it on!” I was completely confident that whatever God could deal out, I could fix! It became my full time job… putting out fires that I blamed God for.

It was that very night that I had a self-defining moment. When I came back to reality, I noticed the tears streaming down my face, and I cried out loud “Uncle! I give up! You win! I can’t fix this! I don’t know what’s best for my son and I don’t know how to pay for it! In fact, I don’t know anything anymore!”

Eventually, I could see that all God was trying to do through these little shakes ups in my life was to help me let go…. Free me from the prison I had created for myself… the impossible job of running the Universe! And that night I began to experience the freedom of what Letting Go felt like.

A Year in a Suitcase is still on sale: 2 for $30 

It's not too late to get them in the mail before Christmas! And I'll even wrap and ship them as gifts! Just let me know when you order. 

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE

 Several years ago I accompanied my son to Peru where we hiked the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.

(www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6DULNriI8g
And you can read about this adventure in my latest book, A Year in a Suitcase, available on evolvetolive.com.)

After nearly escaping with my life (too old… out of shape… late start in the day...) I was beyond exhausted when we got back to our room for the night.

My son was the only one in the group who wanted to hike Wayna Picchu the next morning. (Taller mountain in the back).

It seemed like a feat that was simply out of the question for myself. But when I asked the guide if she thought that I could make it, she said something to me that I remember vividly to this day; ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! I've come to really appreciate those three words in my life.

Yes… anything is possible and with her kind words, I got up the next morning at four and made it to the top! Why… because ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

So that brings me to the present day in my life. I decided to run a triathlon. Seems crazy, but its a baby one and it will give me a reason to make conscious choices each day about my health. Come and join us! Evolve to Live is going to have a team. May 6 and 7th 2016  in Sahuarita, AZ!

SELF ACCEPTANCE - PART 2

Learning to love myself… every inch… exactly how I am in any given moment didn't come easy… and it's still an on-going challenge.

A few years ago I lived in beautiful spanish style home that was completely secluded in southern Arizona. Because the summer's are so hot and I didn't have the funds to use the air conditioner, it gave me an opportunity to practice loving me… all of me on a daily basis. 

I quickly found out that if you don't use artificial cooling and you don't wear clothes… you weren't hot. So that summer I spent in the nude. 

And there I was… in my face… all day… ME! ALL of ME! For me to see… and experience the judgments that I had developed over the years about myself and my body. 

And then… I even took it one step further. I told my daughter… "I'd watch porn, but I'm afraid I'll die and you children will find it on my computer!" She assured me that it was more popular than my little conservative mind could imagine and gave me a site to explore. 

This was a short lived experiment for me, but it was very revealing. I could witness my resistance and explore my childhood abuse issues from another view point. But mostly what it did for me, was to see the bodies of other women and see that I wasn't any different… better or worse… than any of them. I had the same parts and they were being loved (perception) exactly how they were. Could I do the same for myself? 

So when my aunt blurted out last week You got fat! (Previous post) It was a gift. Simply an opportunity to see how I felt about it. Yes… I had gained weight… now that it was said out loud and I wasn't offended or hurt, I wondered if I could explore another avenue of being conscious and in choice about how I want to move forward in my life.  Whatever I decide to do in the future… eat… exercise… or not…. can I do it consciously? That's my next plan! 

We plan and God laughs!

SELF ACCEPTANCE PART 1

I had to laugh during a recent visit with my 83-year old aunt whom I hadn't seen in over a year. With the innocence of a child, she blurted out, You got fat! 

I reflected back to the writing of my now published, third book, A Year in a Suitcase. As I read back in my journals I had written about my astonishment to the fact that my weight had risen to new heights! During this time, I weighed more than when I delivered any one of my four children! Really? How could that be? How could I have let that happen…. to me?

Like many women, I had been weight conscious and even athletic in my younger years. It wasn’t until my life began to shift in a direction that I was unfamiliar with and all I could do, literally, was to remind myself to wake up and breathe through each moment. I didn’t care about anything else. I couldn’t care about anything else! When I finally began to emerge from The Dark Night of the Soul… I was in disbelief. Was this really my body? Oh how it had changed. I became a bit more aware and conscious of what I was putting in my mouth but I still wasn’t motivated to do much else about it.

While away on a trip, a book caught my attention. It was taken of brave women showing their tastefully exposed naked bodies. The title…. This is Who I Am…. I instantly knew that I would like to make a book titled…. This is My Body…. it is NOT Who I am!

My aunt had given me a gift, an opportunity to take another look at accepting myself exactly how I am. Can I love me… every inch of me without judgment? Can I be in choice? Can I consciously decide what I put into my mouth and enjoy it without guilt? Can I enjoy what I choose to put into my mouth without making excuses or punishing myself at a later date using the excuse, I ate/drank too much. When I get home… I have to fast/run…whatever punishment seems appropriate!

Certainly I want to be as healthy and look as good as possible. However, it seems as important to accept, love and make peace with me… exactly how I am. 

Where's Pati?

Since my last blog, I have in fact landed back in Green Valley, Az in another awesome home for the summer. I found myself in a state of depression, again, as tend to happens every time I shift.

My intention was to finish/start, whatever, my latest book, A Year in a Suitcase.

This summer I've been questioning what and where I'm headed and  and so I have put ETL on hiatus. What is it, and where is it going? Whose is my target audience and how do I promote it?

One of my mentors asked me the question, "How do you see yourself living the next 12 months of your life?" I was really glad that he said 12 months, anything longer would have put me comatose. Surprisingly, I instantly knew.

I'd would be willing to take one year and learn things that I seem to be missing to move ETL forward. To do that, I would need a job and stay in one place! Yes, I said, stay in one place!

So I made a list:
1. Work for Canyon Ranch - as a Program Advisor. Learn as much as I can about it all, including sales, phones, communication and how they move their business forward with social media, etc. Why Canyon Ranch? I feel like we're a perfect fit! I am missing some structure and people in my life and so this could fit the bill. Note to self. Just BE. It's the first "job" that I can say I'm totally excited about the possibility of having.
2. Work with Byron (an accomplished Dale Carnegie retiree)
3. Take the course at Dale Carnegie
4. Take Apple classes and learn Youtube and audio and Powerpoint for Tele seminars.

I was that clear, that quick. So, that's what I'm going to do.

If you want to know where I'll be for the next year. Tucson. Downtown or in the burbs? Or, if things get really magical as I know they can be, I'd be in a lovely home housesitting:)

PS. Today a man from WA state ordered my GPS for Living book. Thank you!! Someone is out there:)

DO YOU EVER FEEL OVERWHELMED?

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? Have you thought that you know that something needs to be done but that you just can't bring yourself to do it?

It becomes easy once you can break it down into small manageable bites.

I have been overwhelmed trying to get Evolve to Live to fly. There always seems to be so many moving parts. I hired a business coach and we've made progress but it seems like it's one step forward and a whole slue back!

I was talking with my friend today and she reminded me of a time we were together and she wanted to clean out her linen closet. She kept insisting that it would take days and I kept insisting, it would take ten minutes. All you have to do is start!

In a situation like that, you have to take everything out before you can put it back in. It's worse before it's better.

On my drive to Southern California, in my white car, the place I get clarity and ideas, I got the brainy idea to hire Pati Hope as the General Manager of Evolve to Live. I mean really, who better to do the job. She is organized, believes in the products and loves people! I even went so far as to write her an official letter as to why she was the best person for the job! (Too bad we can't pay her, YET!)

I gave her a list of the departments that she would be managing and she was to hire the best person for each department. (ME!) She was to have them each work one day a week. She was to meet with them and together they were to decide what the jobs they were to perform on their day in the office.

The subdivisions were (the products and services ETL offers) Sessions/Playshops/Energetic Wellness, stuff like that. Anyway, what that did for me was to break things down so that each division had their time on the top. The GM, still has the business coach to help keep her on track!

Don't know if this helps, but just thought that I would pass it along....Just do it!