Walking A Mile in Another Person's Shoes

This weekend I found myself wanting to make some cash and to do something fun. So I got on over to Craigslist and under the Help Wanted, Events, I found a gig as a cashier at a carnival about an hour away. I had applied on Friday and the position had been filled, but early Saturday I received a call and the position was offered to me. YES! Sounded like fun and I've always wanted to go to Wilcox, where the Apple Orchards are and it's even apple season. Super Cool!

Twelve to twelve, a twelve hour shift of standing basically in one place and then the clean up! Ugh!
I was exhausted and every inch of my body hurt and I had an hour drive home at midnight. The owner felt sorry for this old lady and told me to come in Sunday at noon instead of eleven. Okay.

I thought of my sister and her recent breast cancer surgery and her unwillingness to rest and take care of herself. Although I've accepted that she gets to live her life the way that she wants to, it also saddens me that we're a society where there are so many taboos around self-care.

Then I took another look at what I just did and will do again next weekend. The very same thing, pushing through in order to make a buck. Now, that's not the whole truth of it all, but that's the part that surfaced for me and I was able to understand my sister's decision better.

I also got to feel how it feels to be so completely exhausted that you can't speak. Of course, I've felt this many times in my life, but in the near past, I live a pretty stress free life. I was having a hard time understanding when my current roommate arrives home from work, he grunts like a caveman for hello. Now I get it! You're just too exhausted to do or say anything else.

To balance it all out, Sunday morning I took the time to explore Wilcox, a produce stand and an orchard before my shift started. It's fall and the corn maze, hay rides, pumpkin picking and children laughing all were in full swing. The hour drive back on Sunday evening in the desert twilight was pure magic.

Being able to see things from another person's perspective is helpful in living life free of judgements and with compassion. And the ultimate hope is that we can be as compassionate and judgement free for ourselves.

Remember to Be Good to Yourself!
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MEXICO, HELP FOR THE DEPORTED IMMIGRANTS

I stopped into a local artist’s gallery to say hi and the first thing she blurted out was, “Pati, you have to call Fr. Sean!” “Ok!” Who is Fr. Sean?” She continued to tell me that he had been the guest speaker at the local bi-monthly forum, speaking about the Kino Border Initiative. (Help and dignity for those who have been deported.)

As I do, following things until they stop, I called the number and made an appointment to go and see what this was all about.
I had been saying that I wanted to go to another country and live in another culture. Duh! It’s only 20 minutes away! (Changing my perspective!)

I arrived and along with a group of high schooler’s and parents, I walked across the border to the structure where deported immigrants were lined up for a morning meal. The mission tries to do a little education session before the meal. There were plenty of volunteers to help cook and serve and so I tried to stay out of the way. Most of them are there for only the one meal and then somehow are bussed back to their homes, further south. When they were leaving, I did what came natural to me, connecting through the heart. I stuck out my hand, touched their shoulder, looked them each in the eye, wishing them good luck and fortune.

OMG! I FELT THE POWER IN THAT!

I could feel my heart opening and the tears welling. I realized then, that while so many times we can serve, do for, care for others, but to actually BE with another is the challenge. Our own uncomfortableness arises. It takes us to a place of vulnerability and can trigger our own wounded-ness. But these are the very encounters that can be healing for all involved, the cracks that allow the LIGHT to shine through.

We left to see the Women’s shelter which is 2 apartments on the top floor next to each other. Women can stay there for up to a week. There were two at the time we went and we were able to talk with them through a translator. One was trying to go to Tennessee where she had relatives, the other to New Orleans. I was amazed at their big ambitions, they had quite a journey to travel once they did cross the border. I didn’t really have many questions at the time, but now I do! ‘What were you thinking? Are things so bleak that you’ll risk anything in the hopes of something better? Or do you see it as an adventure? While they are there they are given information about the same issues we as american women struggle with....self-esteem, domestic violence, learning to say no, etc.

Just a short twenty miles south of my home, across a fence; there are people. People like me, people who feel and hurt and struggle. People who are grateful for the help they are given. People who want to be with their families or have the courage to leave their families in hopes of providing them with a better life.

People, who no matter where they live, have the right to human decency and dignity and people who when touched also feel love and the POWER!

I came away thinking that while I don’t know what any of this means for me, I did realize that no matter what a person’s stand on the immigration laws in the US are, it’s difficult to be in the presence on another human being and not find some compassion for their life’s journey.

(Their immediate needs are of course money, but also, sugar, corn tortillas, ladies underwear and toiletries)

YOU THINK YOU KNOW, BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

The words, You think you know, but you have no idea, came to my mind today. I originally heard them at a youth rally many years ago.

I was having dinner with several friends and the conversation turned to current events and who is guilty of what.

I was shocked to hear one friend say, “She’s absolutely guilty!” (Now exactly how does one know that for sure? How many times has someone been put into prison, only later to find out they were innocent, or conversely someone was set free and later found to be guilty with new evidence.)

Most recently this friend had been in a local paper in an article that was false and unsubstantiated. My friend hadn’t even been contacted before the article appeared to see if there was anything that he wanted to say in his defense.

“That’s exactly what has happened to you!” I complained. “How can you say so quickly, that she’s guilty? We’ve heard only what the media has to say!”

I do not want to discuss the guilt and innocence of people here. I only want to point out that things are not always as they seem. Many times we get on the band-wagon without knowing all the facts and hearing both sides of the story, realizing that everything is tainted from each person’s point of view.

You think you know, but you have no idea!

I wondered, why we are so quick to point fingers and judge others? Our society, with modern day media and social networking, etc., is overly involved in living the lives of others. From sports figures to movie stars and anyone else who comes up in the media, we judge, condemn and criticize.

I came to the conclusion that if we were living our own lives, truly living; we wouldn’t be so concerned about the cycles of life others are going through. As long as we can obsess about how others are living, guessing and putting our own projections onto them, it keeps us off of our own personal journeys. Which is the only journey that matters.

When we can find compassion for ourselves, we’ll have it for others. Once we stop judging ourselves, we’ll naturally stop judging others. We can begin by being nice to ourselves, loving ourselves. After all, conceivably we can be the only person that we’ll know our entire lives! Let’s be friends!

As Martin Luther King said, Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere! (Including injustice to me!)