ETL 2016 Summer of Hope Tour

When I left Tucson, I had a couple of definite places to go, but everything in between I would leave to gently unfold. This is the first time that I've been alone and able to write so here is a brief rundown on how things have gone so far. First, I drove to Huntington Beach, flew to Sacramento, hitched a ride with my son and fiancé to Fort Bragg where I had the amazing privilege of marrying them on the bluff overlooking the sea, in the presence of God, family and friends.

Then I left with my daughter, son-in-law, and shared the back seat with my 6 month sweet grand daughter and not so small, BIG DOG on a road trip down south, via Mendocino, The World's Largest Salmon Bake, 4th of July Celebrations and a stop at Vichy Resort in Ukiah, one of only 3 champagne (effervescent) water warm springs in the world. (totally fun!)

Back for another week in Huntington, housesitting, walks, swims, family get togethers, and drinking beer.

Again, back on the road, heading to Yosemite for a not-yet known, pilgrimage to Half Dome with my daughter and 4 other courageous woman, after which, I drove up HWY 49 through the Motherlode and into Grass Valley. Because of the kind and generous spirit of many, I've spent the past two weeks, swimming, floating, boating, hiking, visiting, working, volunteering, gardening, cleaning, organizing and yes, drinking beer! I've stayed down town, in the mountains and on the water. As this is where I left in 2009 for my journey that began with A Year in a Suitcase, it has been a time of grace.

As I continue practicing living in the moment, I've kept my days from being planned.  When asked, "What are you going to do today?" I answer, "I'm going to just wait and see what unfolds!" And each day has held something special and magical.

We don't have to go away to experience something magical. But it does take conscious effort as it is easy to fall into what my friend calls a Six Inch Grave…a rut! We can let our personal and professional lives become... rote, routine, boring, and mundane if we're not careful.  It's tempting to follow the same routine, go the same way to work, eat the same foods, watch the same programs, etc. Then we can have the tendency to become rigid, complacent and inflexible.. all the while thinking… "This is the way it should be! I don't like change!" But if we can just change one small thing each day, or even change something every now and then, we will stay awake and living in each moment, and then we too can experience the magic each moment has to offer!

PART 4 GOOD LUCK? BAD LUCK? GRATITUDE

It seems appropriate, this being the week of Thanksgiving, to pause and look at life from perhaps another set of eyes. Seeing things from another angle… a new perspective can turn what appears to be Bad Luck into Good Luck!

First and foremost, we need to let go of control! Scary huh! But once we can let go of how we think things should be and say yes to how they are, then we are free to live in a state of gratitude. And when we can be in gratitude… for everything... we begin to live life filled with passion and joy.

Secondly, if we can stay living in the moment, there can be nothing but gratitude because we have no expectations and no regrets and so it is easy to be grateful for everything… just how it shows up. We can begin to turn what could be perceived as Bad Luck into Good Luck! It's all a matter of perspective.

I'm grateful for YOU!

SELF ACCEPTANCE PART 1

I had to laugh during a recent visit with my 83-year old aunt whom I hadn't seen in over a year. With the innocence of a child, she blurted out, You got fat! 

I reflected back to the writing of my now published, third book, A Year in a Suitcase. As I read back in my journals I had written about my astonishment to the fact that my weight had risen to new heights! During this time, I weighed more than when I delivered any one of my four children! Really? How could that be? How could I have let that happen…. to me?

Like many women, I had been weight conscious and even athletic in my younger years. It wasn’t until my life began to shift in a direction that I was unfamiliar with and all I could do, literally, was to remind myself to wake up and breathe through each moment. I didn’t care about anything else. I couldn’t care about anything else! When I finally began to emerge from The Dark Night of the Soul… I was in disbelief. Was this really my body? Oh how it had changed. I became a bit more aware and conscious of what I was putting in my mouth but I still wasn’t motivated to do much else about it.

While away on a trip, a book caught my attention. It was taken of brave women showing their tastefully exposed naked bodies. The title…. This is Who I Am…. I instantly knew that I would like to make a book titled…. This is My Body…. it is NOT Who I am!

My aunt had given me a gift, an opportunity to take another look at accepting myself exactly how I am. Can I love me… every inch of me without judgment? Can I be in choice? Can I consciously decide what I put into my mouth and enjoy it without guilt? Can I enjoy what I choose to put into my mouth without making excuses or punishing myself at a later date using the excuse, I ate/drank too much. When I get home… I have to fast/run…whatever punishment seems appropriate!

Certainly I want to be as healthy and look as good as possible. However, it seems as important to accept, love and make peace with me… exactly how I am. 

ON THE ROAD AGAIN!

I woke up this morning, knowing it's my last day in gorgeous San Diego! What happens....a pit in my stomach, a catch in my breath and a knowing that I'll be making a Shift  again.

It seems silly as I know where I'm going and what I'll be doing, so what's the anxiety about? It's not about the not knowing (which has been part of my journey so far) so what is it?

Don't know...do I care? Should I care? 

What I am grateful for is that wherever I am...is the most beautiful place ever...wherever that is! I guess that is living in the moment. Certainly I've stayed in less than lovely places, but there is always something special about where I am...the places, the people, the animals and situations I encounter.  

So while I do have my panty twisting...still...probably always will...I catch them earlier, allow myself to feel them and then breath through them. Then I come out the other side...sooner!

I left for Phoenix this morning and am sitting at the car dealer, waiting for my car to be serviced, (16,000 miles - 6 months old!) I'll be heading to Green Valley, AZ where I'll spend a day before heading to Mt. Lemmon, AZ. Happy Summer! 

I appreciate and love you..thank you for your support...

Here I am, nearly ending this leg of the journey here in Arizona and the anxiety begins to creep in once again. The good news is that I now recognize the panty twist that comes along with the unknown in my life. On this year journey of saying ‘yes’ to what shows up, I’m getting pretty good at ‘settling in.’ It’s when each part ends that I begin to squirm. I can say, the twists are less in intensity and duration, nevertheless, they still rear their ugly little heads signaling more trust and healing needs to take place.

Speaking with one of my daughter’s this morning; she was able to put it all into perspective for me. “Mom, it sounds like you’re playing a game of musical chairs! You’re just fixating on moving from one chair to the next with the goal being sitting your butt in a chair! How about enjoying the music along the way. If there’s no chair left when you arrive, well then, another door will open up! Deal with it then! Stay present in the moment, you're in Arizona today." Don't you love it when you're children are smarter than you!

What I know that in living in the moment; I don’t have to know anything except what is here and now…and that would be bed! Sleep with the angels, dear girls!