FUNKY, FUNKY....

I'm here in Green Valley, AZ. While, like everywhere that I've traveled, I meet the most amazing people and have the most enchanting time. But today for some reason, I've been in a major funk! MAJOR! Watch out, anyone in my tracks today!~ PS...I'm sorry....

I've applied for several jobs....all jobs that I am well qualified for. I even had my business coach review my resumes and cover letters and have had zero response. Yes, I know why I am not getting "JOBS", I'm not supposed to have one. My business coach said that he was mad for me. He's surprised that no one has even responded to my inquiries let alone not have been offered any positions. I said, "I know why! If someone offered me a job, I'd take it and that would take me off of my shamanic journey of following the flow of energy." Adding insult to injury, friends are around me are getting great jobs! 

I drove to Tucson today with a list filled with things to accomplish, starting with yoga. I then went to see a friend who owns a hot pool for aquatic massages to inquire about her position at Canyon Ranch. (A high end spa.) We brainstormed about some summer possibilities at her facility.

Next, I drove around in circles, not knowing what to do or where to go! I called a friend who was going to meet me in town and she said, "You sound tired or down. You should come back to my house." I started to head south but realized that wasn't the answer.

It was my child who was panty twisting and the wise parent finally came to the rescue. "Pati, when you're feeling off balance, go inside and follow the breath, until you feel a sense of calmness. Then go back to the last thing that was familiar and stand there until you gain clarity." The last thing...I have a list of things to accomplish. Even though it was the last thing that I wanted to do, I simply put one foot in front of the other, took out the list and carried on. 

I stopped by to see my shamanic astrologer friend who explained why I was in this funk. (Yes, something to do with the alignment of the planets!) Her husband and I have the same astrological charts and he said that he's been in a I don't want to, state of mind. He doesn't want to move in the world and do the things that he's been doing to generate a cash flow. ( Always a nice mirror for me!)

It's nearly 1AM as I write this. While I can't sleep and I still feel like curling up in bed and crying.  And I can't exactly put my finger on what the issues are, it's nice to know two things. One, someone had added a comment on the blog....so thank you for being out there....all of you....and secondly, THIS TOO SHALL PASS:-) One thing that always is true for me. I feel better after I've written:-) So thanks for listening:-)

My Shamanic Journey Continues...

Learning to move through life consciously is shamanic in the sense that we learn to see and experience Spirit in all creation, with a knowing that we are all one, were are all intertwined and we all matter! After all, we were all created by the Creator, whatever name you use!

Just a reminder, a shamanic journey is one where you follow the flow of energy. It takes being conscious and awake to know when the energy is shifting and then you need TRUST yourself and  be free to follow the flow.

I had an amazing three weeks in So Cal...Huntington Beach to be exact. I still had 10 more days that were available to me. An offer to housesit in No. Cal came to me and while I felt like I was complete in So Cal, my head said "STAY, ARE YOU CRAZY?" But when a few things that were scheduled to happen in So Cal fell away it further verified for me, what I was feeling... it was time to shift.  

I left Monday morning, after an energy treatment for bladder (emotions, not sex:(! ). The traffic was beyond belief on Hwy 5. (A holiday for many). I arrived to a very chilly Nevada City and woke to snow falling which continued throughout the day, totally supporting a day of rest.

Yesterday I had an appointment with my shaman (you can't do bodywork without receiving it for yourself), which put me in the bath and bed (clearing and releasing) for the rest of the day. 

Today...I'm up and alert, trying to figure out a plan to stay balanced on this leg of the journey. My plan...LOL...is to be here until March 12, when I plan to head towards Kansas....You've heard the saying....We Plan and God Laughs!!

I may be traveling through your town. Let me know! We can do a playshop, small get together, pamper party or healing session! What I guarantee...WE WILL HAVE FUN! Happy Trails!

There is no love without forgiveness

I haven't written in a bit as I've been in a state of...well, I hate to use the word depression as I have nothing to be depressed about.

However, this is typical when I take myself out of the familiar and am alone in a new environment with just ME!

It's just like yoga for me. It's in the movements that space is created. And it is in that space that we place our awareness, focus on the breath and allow any feelings that we've kept tamped down the space to emerge.

It's in the movements of my shamanic journey (following the flow of energy) that I create the space to feel what still needs healing. 

When I'm in unfamiliar territory, space has been freed up, I can feel the feelings of being alone, lonely and sometimes even rejected and abandoned. (I wonder if there were no texting, cell phone and email if I'd feel the same...) These feelings are not reality. I know that I am loved and supported. (Thank you!) 

A friend sent me this picture and asked if I agreed. My answer... I think self forgiveness is the most important, hardest and least mentioned. I think that these feelings that have the space to arise in my movement can be connected to self forgiveness, self love and self respect. 

TRAVELING UPDATE: I've spent the past two weeks ripping up old carpet, preparing the floor and laying laminate with my friend here in Huntington Beach. The past two days, I've had the honor of caring for a 2 month newborn baby, a real honor to be a part of this little one's life. He had a lot that he wanted to say to me! Very Sweet. Friday, I am heading back to AZ to be a part of the Physic Fair in Tucson, then back to HB. 

A Shamanic Journey

Today I leave on what I am calling a shamanic journey. There are many different kinds of shamanic journeys. They can be traveling through spiritual or physical realms or a combination of the two. This one for me is paying attention to the flow of Divine Energy and practicing gaining balance in my life.

On a shamanic journey, one follows the flow of Energy, paying attention to when the Energy is stagnant and when it gives life. Example: My decision to leave AZ was based on the facts that there was no movement of energy for me. Nothing had opened up; not housing, job or relationship. Oh yes, I had places to stay, was making money and I had friends, but nothing has popped up to say this is where to stay for now. 

On a shamanic journey or vision quest, one needs to be flexible and willing to change with the flow of energy. One is on assignment from a Higher Power (God) and goes where they are drawn even when it doesn't make any sense.

On a shamanic journey, you are on a need to know basis. You don't always get to know why you're going where you are or who you'll meet  on your way, whose life will touch yours and whose life you will touch, you simply trust the little voices in your heart and not the ones in your head, resting assured that you are exactly where you are supposed to be! 

I'll be in Huntington Beach for this first leg of my trip, helping my friend remodel her one bedroom apartment, practicing balance, a little bit of work, a little bit of self-care and a little bit of Evolve to Live. 

And so I'm back, embracing change, living from my 22"suitcase and backpack, but now with my new Nissan Sentra, I have my healing table.

And in the shamanic tradition, paying attention to the signs of support, the last two songs that shuffle through my Boze iPod before leaving are...Calling All Angels and On the Road Again...I smile with acknowledgment and gratitude to have been called and having the courage to let go, trust and receive.

Thank you all for your love, support, encouragement, listening ear, friendship and generosity!

Remember to Embrace Change: Adventure is Out There!
Looking forward to seeing you On The Road! 

Shamanic Journey Workshop - (Spiritual Healing)

I've taken several workshops over the past few years that have involved Shamanic Journeys. A Shamanic Journey is where one consciously  tries to connect with spiritual support. It's kind of like praying and dreaming combined. I've never quite been able to get the hang of it according to how I interpreted  the experiences of others.

My last trip to LA, I discovered a Basic Shamanic Workshop that was going to take place in Phoenix, AZ, which I quickly signed up for. I wanted to get it right!

What I know about these intensives as they're called, is they are about one's personal journey/personal growth. The last little pieces of one's soul that are still in need of healing, emerge at these intensives. And being that I am on a journey to become real and authentic, I was honest with the feelings that were arising in me. 

The friend I attended with suggested to me, "Just change your language and stop acknowledging places of lack." I disagree with this philosophy. I believe that I have to take a look at the little places that still need to have a voice, be acknowledged, love them and then they can be set free. Otherwise what happens is they just continue to stay dormant, unaddressed and eventually these undressed areas can cause dis-ease.

While working at the Catholic Church, a priest friend said to me, "Pati, Jesus only condemned one people, the Pharisee's, people's whose insides didn't match their outsides." I spent years with my insides and outsides not matching, smiling and saying everything is OK.

I no longer do that, which can make others uncomfortable or perceive my being real as whining or looking for attention. But for me, it's simply sharing the real me, with my ups and downs and my coasting along status quo.

I don't need to be fixed, just a safe place to be real....so that when I find pieces of my soul that are still in need of being loved and accepted, I am free to do the personal work. I thank all of you who let me be real.....I love you.