Learning to Be 10 Again!

Trying to consciously move into the second half of life my traveling companion and I have taken on the philosophy of "What would a 10 year old do?" followed by "Lets do that! We found ourselves on the freeway, driving by Indianapolis. I began a ten year old protest..."I think we should take the scooter off the back of the motorhome and drive downtown." My friend was apprehensive as this is her maiden voyage with her new RV and downtown seemed a bit scary to her. We have totally different view points about living. We're both making the shift into the second half of life but I've been at it a bit longer. I have a lasso around her waist, not pulling her unwillingly, but just as a guide so that she can find me.

Well, we did stop and drove through the city, with the wind blowing in our hair, sun and smiles on our faces... we were rejuvenated.

Imagine, being rejuvenated by playing!

We then spent 2 nights at a KOA camp in Indiana, where we stayed in bed (more like a teen :-) but it worked, we read and wrote. Then cleaned and did laundry, (definitely not like a ten year old, however necessary :-P ) then we swam and laid around and read and ate.

Later, after everything, we were very tired so I took a nap :-[ ( more like an old person or... baby) then had a beer, chips and salsa (certainly not like a ten year old, well, at least the beer part!)

Our first "fun" food of the trip, as we've been trying to not eat like a ten year old but like fat ladies who need to loose weight!) Wait, wait, let's reframe that last sentence, We've been trying to eat like we're people who care about how their bodies are working!

Next we saw a sign for a hayride, then totally forgot about it until the old 1920 tractor came to our door to pick us up! We came back and took a hike through the woods, and then watched an outdoor movie complete with lightning bugs! (A blast from our past, as we both spent time in the Midwest as children!) We walked back to the motorhome to try to learn Itunes on the computer. (Very unlike a ten year old, as they we born knowing it!)

Trying to learn to stop and smell the roses makes me tired! So we went to bed which was made. OK well so we haven't totally mastered being ten again...hey, but it's a journey! Happy Playing!

Say what you need to say.....clear, direct, communication!

My dad was always picking on my youngest son; it was never right, it was never good enough, he wasn't thinking, the list was endless.

One day the light bulb went on for me and I said to my dad, "My son, reminds you of your son, C You are saying (not nicely) all the things you never said to my brother. It doesn't feel good!

In my family, we never addressed an issue directly to another person,(we wouldn't want to hurt their feelings) no, of course not. We would simply talk about them behind their back to the rest of the family, and anyone else who would listen. Very intelligent right? Certainly talking behind someones back still is hurtful and any way, it always got back to the one being talked about, and just like the telephone game, it barely resembled the original complaint as everyone added their own personal twist.

Sometimes we may find we are venting on behalf of another, when it is simply a mirror for us to see ourselves more clearly. Stand up for yourself. Choose YOU in every moment. It may be a bit contrary to what many of us were taught, but I can assure you from my personal life experience, things will change, you will be respected and still loved, probably even more.

PS...personal work, has nothing to do with who or where you live or what job you have, once you begin the journey to knowing you, (believe me, it's not as scary as I thought) not only will your life change for the better, it will ripple down to those around you.

Last thought; You are loved, simply because you are, it's not what you do, or how you perform. Simply that you are made in the likeness and image of the Creator....how could it be any different?

THE MIDDLE OF NOWWHERE, BETWEEN LIVING AND DYING!

The day before he passed on to his new life, he sat in a small blue upholstered rocking chair next to his bed. When I arrived around 8am as I was in charge of the day watch, I walked into his sun lit room and said “Good Morning, Pop,” and before he even said hello, the most profound thing I ever heard him say came flying out of his mouth, “Waiting to die is Bullshit!” I burst out laughing and said “I couldn’t agree with you more Pop!” (One of the only things we ever agreed on!)

Some months before, five to be exact, I had made a trip to visit my dad and it was quite by accident, that I found out my dad’s long held secret. It wasn’t until I was leaving to come home and the Hospice nurse and Chaplin were arriving that I was confronted with the harsh realization that my dad was dying of renal failure.

My dad truly lived, in the middle of nowhere, all on his own, 15 miles and 39 curves from town, which he continued to drive daily, even though his eyesight and health were failing. He made this daily trip to remain a part of the community. Town is where the farmers went to shoot the bull and he would partake in one of his other favorite past times, teasing the young kids who worked at the neighborhood diner where he ate his one meal a day!

The nurses thought that he hadn’t much time left on this earth and so they convinced him to go to California to visit his family, “just for the holidays.” Reluctantly he agreed but decided to leave his dog Freckles, behind, his one true friend, the one who knew and loved him like no other. However, he of course had a strategy. He knew that he would have to return home if he left his best friend there.

Several weeks passed, the holidays came and went, and we sent for Freckles to join my dad in California, where he continued to wait patiently, with Rufus at the foot of his bed. Well, to be honest, he only waited patiently because there was no choice in the matter, but nevertheless, he waited for the time to come when the waiting would be over.

My dad and I had read several books together, we talked about what to expect as the time to leave his body drew closer. We both had issues resolved, past hurts healed, misunderstandings illuminated and he finally learned to let go and receive the care and love that his family had to offer him.

The middle of nowhere, besides being in rural part of the country, for me has become that place between life and death, that place where the veil is so thinly placed, a person has one foot on each side of the bridge to crossing over; one foot on earth and one foot in heaven, which is exactly where my dad was. He would get upset because he would “see things,” on both sides of the veil. He would be mad at me if I said I could see the things that he was talking about when really I couldn’t. I think it made him feel like he was going crazy, not really understanding that he was simply in the middle of nowhere…limbo as it were, midway between here and there…just waiting.

My dad’s “crossing over” experience was the most beautiful of any I’ve participated in. He was totally aware of what was happening all the way until he breathed his last breath. I had been asking him for the past few weeks. ”Dad, have you seen anyone you know yet?” So when his eyes lit up, I knew he had seen someone. His tongue was thick and he wasn’t able to speak even though I could tell he wanted to say something. “It’s ok, dad, just let go, and follow the Light,” and with that, he closed his eyes and he left is poor failing body.

It was an powerful thing to witness and true to his form, he left with a bang! Within minutes of his departing this life, a loud roar of thunder and sudden burst of lightening lit the sky! We all cheered as somehow we knew that he had made it past the middle of nowhere.

It seems to me that when a person gets to the point of no return in their life that it is definitely in the middle of nowhere. You already know it intellectually, that leaving the body behind is inevitable. But when you begin to feel it in your heart, and you realize there are no bargaining tools left in the bag. When you can’t say, “Stop…I’ve changed my mind, let me off this ride!” When there are no choices left to be made and there’s nothing left to do but to simply wait; a total surrendering with a knowing and a trust that we are all called to a place beyond…The Middle of Nowhere!!