6MO OLD PUPPY, LIKE A KID AT COLLEGE!

He looks peaceful; now, doesn't he? You'd never guess that he is a bouncy little guy. My daughter called to report to me all the 'bad habits' her new little bundle of joy, Tate was acquiring. His chewing and bouncing around like Tigger on Winne the Pooh! All I could do was laugh. It reminded me of exactly why we sent our children off to college; so that we didn't have to watch all the mischievous behavior that comes with growing, exploring and learning about this big beautiful world we live in.

What I have come to see is that everything that we do, all the situations, people and relationships that we attract to ourselves are simply tools to help us to see ourselves more clearly and discover the life lessons that we have come to this earth to learn. What may seem like failure, simply isn't so. Henry Ford says it like this: Failure is simply an opportunity to begin again...more intelligently the next time!

So the next time you get 'down' on yourself because things didn't go the way you had planned, just remember to be kind to yourself and know that you are doing great! Every thing is in Divine Order. I'll leave you with this one last thought: We Plan and God Laughs!

Learning to Be 10 Again!

Trying to consciously move into the second half of life my traveling companion and I have taken on the philosophy of "What would a 10 year old do?" followed by "Lets do that! We found ourselves on the freeway, driving by Indianapolis. I began a ten year old protest..."I think we should take the scooter off the back of the motorhome and drive downtown." My friend was apprehensive as this is her maiden voyage with her new RV and downtown seemed a bit scary to her. We have totally different view points about living. We're both making the shift into the second half of life but I've been at it a bit longer. I have a lasso around her waist, not pulling her unwillingly, but just as a guide so that she can find me.

Well, we did stop and drove through the city, with the wind blowing in our hair, sun and smiles on our faces... we were rejuvenated.

Imagine, being rejuvenated by playing!

We then spent 2 nights at a KOA camp in Indiana, where we stayed in bed (more like a teen :-) but it worked, we read and wrote. Then cleaned and did laundry, (definitely not like a ten year old, however necessary :-P ) then we swam and laid around and read and ate.

Later, after everything, we were very tired so I took a nap :-[ ( more like an old person or... baby) then had a beer, chips and salsa (certainly not like a ten year old, well, at least the beer part!)

Our first "fun" food of the trip, as we've been trying to not eat like a ten year old but like fat ladies who need to loose weight!) Wait, wait, let's reframe that last sentence, We've been trying to eat like we're people who care about how their bodies are working!

Next we saw a sign for a hayride, then totally forgot about it until the old 1920 tractor came to our door to pick us up! We came back and took a hike through the woods, and then watched an outdoor movie complete with lightning bugs! (A blast from our past, as we both spent time in the Midwest as children!) We walked back to the motorhome to try to learn Itunes on the computer. (Very unlike a ten year old, as they we born knowing it!)

Trying to learn to stop and smell the roses makes me tired! So we went to bed which was made. OK well so we haven't totally mastered being ten again...hey, but it's a journey! Happy Playing!

What an Honor

Did you grow up in a home with good communication?

Not me...

Later, I found out that as an adult child of an alcoholic; I learned early not to talk, not to trust, not to feel.

Talking. I had no experience disagreeing with another person and being able to talk about it, no experience of afterward still feeling loved. In fact, I used to think that if someone didn’t like my opinion or viewpoint, they must not like me. My reaction was to simply write them off my friends list. Where I grew up, children were to be seen and not heard! In my family the premise was; If you don't talk about it it will go away. In a sort of perverse reality the family would talk to every person available except the person being talked about.

My very first experience of honest conflict resolution was many years ago when I was employed by the church. A parishioner had befriended me until the new pastor arrived, then I felt dropped like a hot potato. In a spiritual counseling session, my broken hot potato self revealed how I was feeling about the situation. My counselor asked, “So, what would happen if you talked directly to Friend about your feelings?” “Oh no," I dismissed, "It’s not that big of deal, I’ll just forget it…I’ll just forget about him!”

Well, I needed to face this. I had the guts to call Friend and invite him to lunch. Friend agreed and after we ordered he asked, “So, what’s up?” My instant standard reply, “Nothing.” ( I have to tell you 'nothing' was my standard broken hot potato self answer. I mean, even when I would go to the doctor and was asked “How are you doing?”and 'Nothing ', seemed suitable!)

“Come on, Patty, you asked me to lunch, so what do you want to talk about?” Wow, what do I want to talk about? This was truly a first for me. “Well,” I began timidly as it was my first attempt at “being real.” “I felt like you and I were friends before and now with the new pastor, I feel like I’m not your friend any more. We used to spend time together and now it seems like you don’t have any time for me.”

Much to my surprise, he calmly answered me. “Wow, if that’s true than you must really feel used.” “Well, yeah, I sort of do.” “Well then, you must really be hurting.” “Well, yeah, I sort of am.” “Well, I’m really sorry!” he added. (Not so broken hot potato says... what?)

Later that day I came home to Friend's email which read, “If you could see my friend Pati Hope thru my eyes, you’d love her as much as I do!” I love you, Love me.

It’s not necessary that we see eye to eye on every issue in life, in fact that's what makes the world interesting and balanced. That day I first talked a problem out loud with another, with someone I felt safe with, was an evolution for me.

A person we count on as a friend does not take it personally, we’re able to say exactly what we feel and know that we will be loved.

A beautiful, sacred, sharing of our soul. What an honor.

Why Master of Transition?

As I have been evolving, it has come to my attention more than once..."Why Master?"

The first time, someone said to me, "I really don't like that you call yourself Master." I took this into consideration and began reflecting on why was I calling myself Master of Transition.

As I have been moving forward in my life, the hardest part has been to see myself bigger...no, I can see my physical self getting bigger....I mean the soul self, the essence of who I am. It is most difficult to evolve and see myself different, growing. When I remain in the same circle of friends who have always known or seen me as one way, it's that much more difficult!

Several years back, a friend suggested I begin to spell my name, Patty with an "i" as this second half of life was about me! Whoa baby, the skids marks from the brakes being slammed on where deep!
"I've always been Patty...for 50 years I've been Patty how could I not be me?"
As time passed and the shock began to wear off, I asked one of my daughters, "Oh you can't" she replied, "You've always been Patty." Well that was enough for me! Patti with an "i" is it! But do you think I could take ownership of it? No! I got a new job, they asked how I spelled my name, I said, "It doesn't matter, either way." It truly took a year to make the conversion.

Next, several years after my divorce, I decided I was done being a Hobbs.
I decided to go back to my maiden name, not angry, just finished. I called my ex-husband and thanked him for sharing his last name with me for the past 30 years, but that I was going to take my maiden name back. So I went to the courthouse, filled out the paper work for "Miller" and waited patiently for the permission to "be me!"

The permission paper came and I couldn't change my name on anything. I finally went to the DMV, who sent me to the Social Security office who sent me to the DMV....anyway, you get the picture and when they asked me to sign my name...I didn't know how. I was a Hobbs longer than I was a Miller. It just didn't feel right.

I had been toying with the idea to drop my last name completely and become Patricia Hope, Hope being my middle name. A name I could never stand as a child. The joke was, "Hope there was no more kids!"

One day in the middle of my "dark night of the soul," which is what I call the past 6 years of my life, I realized in my yard, thru my tears, looking at a truly neglected rose in the garden, even it was blooming, that "Hope" is all there is! I found it fascinating that someone knew I would need "HOPE" at some point in my life and there it was!

In my work I wanted everything to be light and fun, and so I began playing with Pati yes, one "t." Different enough, light and fun feeling.

I now live by signs....I read in the newspaper someone who had dropped her last name and was going by her first and middle....good enough confirmation for me! And then I went to a new bank and the teller's name was posted, Pati! OKey Dokey! Pati Hope is re born!

Now, you don't think I could become Pati Hope without a panty twist do you! It took along time and alot of talking to myself and seeing myself different. Recently I went to a friend as I was having a bad day....I sat on her couch and began crying...giving her a litany of all the things that weren't going right in my life. I finally burst out, "I don't even know what my fucking name is!" Who am I? We both burst out laughing as we knew the journey.

Now, I know....I've evolved, I'm Pati Hope! Hope is all there is!

Christopher Reeves - Once you choose hope, anything is possible!!

Next, We'll continue the saga.....Master of Transition????? (When I return from my next trip)