THE SAGA OF THE RIVERBEND RETREAT HOUSE CONTINUES

The house, clear as mud….in this moment…..as soon as I hit the ‘publish’ button on the blog….already I began spinning with questions and what if’s...

The not trusting came back in full force…..what to do…..recognize….stop and breathe……You were clear in this moment…..that’s all you have to know…..it felt right….the body said it was right….it’s your fucking mind that gets in the way.

I told the realtor, you’re not going to like what I decided. He said that he was jus the mediator. I said (mostly for my own benefit) ‘This wasn’t decided from a knee jerk reaction or a place of resistance. I gave it a lot of thought and I did a lot of personal work around it.

2 things….When all is said and done, I will get $10,000, which I know isn’t any concern of yours, but $6,000 is a lot of money to me. and 2nd, I’m totally confident in the work that was performed….nothing was added, only things were fixed.” He wanted to counter the buyers with the $146,000 pricing….I said yes…..not because I felt pressured or because I didn’t want to back down from what I had said about wanting $150,000 to sell, but because I felt into it and it felt right.

I also said that I didn’t want to wait for 3 days for an answer, as I was planning to come up to paint and put gravel in the front and I needed to begin heading up. So by 5PM today....we’ll know the fate of the Riverbend Retreat House.....in this moment of course!

One hand, it will be nice to be finished…..on the other….the opportunities for growth remains and the journey continues……Hmmmmm, I wonder....What’s around the Riverbend???

I CONSCIOUSLY LET GO OF MY LAST SECURITY, RIVERBEND RETREAT HOUSE

While visiting the Wizards (my family) in Oz, (Kansas), I was dealing with my house rental. While it had been great the first year that I rented it, the second renters were not as cooperative. I had finally hired a property management company (who did a worse job than I was doing) and we gave 30 day notice to the tenants. I then had to hire legal services to complete the process.

Still not sure if I was going to re-rent or sell, I knew of someone who thought that they may be interested in renting the property, which didn’t pan out. (Roadblocks) To be honest with myself, I had been borrowing money to move ETL forward, money that was tied up in the house. Next step, test the waters for selling. It was a big decision as it would be the end of my past life, my last connection with my dad (on a material level) and a dying of Patty Hobbs and a life style of the past. All loans and all banking in California would come to a close. No real connection to California would be left, well except my driver’s license and car registration.

On Wednesday, I called the realtor, put the house on the market and had nearly a full offer on Saturday. They were asking for $2,800 credit for closing costs and they wanted me to pump the septic. The tears began to flow. Was it because of the previous reasons mentioned or was it that I was mad at God/The Universe, for giving me $2,800 less than what I said? (A test:) Once I came to my senses, I knew that I needed the full price in order to be sure that I was to sell, after all, it hadn’t even hit the MLS market yet.

While I wanted to be fair and compromise with the new buyers, I also wanted to leave the land ‘sacred’ for the new owners of the Riverbend Retreat House and so I agreed to pump the septic. (A willingness to clean up the last of my ‘shit!’!)

While it is a bit scary for me and I easily can spin in the ‘it’s not the right time to sell’ attitude that many share with me, I can say that it was the right time for me. The doors were clearly closing in the rental arena and while I love Grass Valley and the people, I knew that it wasn’t where I was to live.

Like in the Wizard of Oz, Glenda, the good witch said to Dorothy, The Tin Man and Lion, YOU HAVE THE POWER YOU’VE ALWAYS HAD IT, we know the answers to all of our questions. They are inside of us. We have the power to do and make changes in our lives. We just have to believe that we do!

So now that I have made the decision and I’m flowing in the river once again, I’ll remember what the Hopi Elders said, “Push off the edge and flow with the waters.” I’ll not cling to the familiar, holding onto the edge, while loose debris rams into me. Instead of trying to paddle my way up a very swift stream, I’m going to relax, not look back and trust that the waters that I’m floating on will continue carry me to new adventures and I’ll leave the ‘What if’s and doubts behind!”

Happy New Beginnings as jobs and schools resume!!!!!