NEW AND NOT SO NEW TECHNOLOGY! KILL ME NOW!

I'm trying to renew my application for the Apple store so that I can keep my phone app on it.....let's see...it costs $99 a year. The phone app cost me $600 have it made...(a bargain) and I've sold 1! This is the second year of renewing! After several days trying to figure it out and Apple gives you an email buddy!  Give me a friggin' break! Have you ever felt like throwing the phone threw the wall....I feel like smashing my computer! Or how about reaching through the ethers and strangling the person on the other end!

I'm so frustrated, and wondering if I should even renew it....wondering if I should even be doing any of what I'm doing! I know it's easy once you know how to do it, but I have to be shown, after all, I'm from Missouri, The Show Me State! 

So now, I'm trying make a new email campaign to send out and the email address won't verify. What to do? They at least  give you live person to chat with on line! What the hell? After 2 attempts, of doing as I have been instructed, I notice the little monkey at the top of the page says, "Pati, sometimes you gotta 'spress' yourself!" Even now....the damn computer wants to tell me what I want to say! It keeps changing the word 'spress'....leave me alone!

I had to laugh...I thought it said...."Sometimes you gotta suppress yourself!" I'm at a loss....feel like crying, screaming and kicking somebody! I'm going to the movies!

Pushing through closed doors...once again

I've been doing personal work long enough to know when a door is closed...leave it that way! But it was only several days into this 3 weeks trip with my friend in her motor home across the U.S., and I began to fret about my returning to the West Coast....just exactly how was this going to happen?

And so I began to become obsessed every time we had an internet connection to search for some sort of a "deal" to get me back. This particular night, we were camped in a Walmart:) parking lot and I realized that it was only 2 weeks until I was to leave her and so I had to book a plane ticket home TONIGHT! (God began laughing!)

As I begin gathering my computer and flashlight, I announce that I am going to walk to the Starbucks on the corner, so I can get an internet connection. I knew my computer battery was low and so I put my cord in in the bag, as well...

I walked to Starbuck's and of course it's closed (little town). So I proceed to stand in the parking lot trying to get a connection. I began feeling a little unsafe and well, frankly, stupid...I decided to hike to the McDonald's up the street. I arrived. sat down to connect, and it cost $2.95 for 2 hours. I went to the counter and asked how late were they going to be open. Great, another hour! I should certainly be able to find a flight home in an hour! I entered my credit card number for my 2 hours and guess what, yep, my battery died! No worries, I had even found a plug...but as I searched my computer bag, there was no cord.

You've got to flippin' be kidding me!

Totally deflated, with tears beginning to well up in my eyes, I began the long walk back to the motor home when suddenly a sense of peace came over me as I realized, "You are pushing, Pati girl! Let it go!"

As I opened the door I said to my friend, "I think I'm supposed to go with you to your reunion, everything I tried was blocked tonight." She began laughing and was happy to hear I was going to the reunion, as that was the original plan, I had just taken it upon myself to do it my way! (By the way, it is a Dreyer Family Reunion and I was going to be Pati Dreyer...the inventor of the Dreyer ice cream!

Believe me, this was not the last time, I tried to push my way home.....but read tomorrow and see what unfolded as I waited! Sleep with the angels!

Depressed, Frustration, Anger, Resentment? Ask yourself 2 Questions!

I find now when I feel anxious or depressed or am resenting someone or something, it is because I am not living my truth, who I am, what I want and need. (Very hard to figure out at times, but that's another story!)

The two questions I ask myself in all situations are simply these:
1. What would you do if you weren't afraid? (What are you afraid of?)
2. What would you do if it weren't about money? (I'll answer in the next blog!)

Ask the questions; feel the reactions; go through in you mind and body, the very worst that would happen if you did the thing you're thinking about.

My examples:

I had a daughter flying with an airline; my other daughter asked me the question, "Mom, how come you're not traveling?" (as it was free for me) "Well, if I'm to be truthful, I think it's because I'm afraid!"
So I had a good talking to myself..."If that's the real reason, you're afraid, then you're going girl!" And I was afraid, I had barely traveled anywhere really, let alone Internationally. I decided to be gentle with myself (something new for me) and go to a place where they spoke English.
What I found out, was that I was NEVER ALONE. There were always angels and divine presence every step of the way! A person traveling on the same bus to the same destination, several countries and languages away; someone who shows up to help you with the machine to buy a train ticket in a different language; an eagle flying overhead reminding me that Spirit is always present!

More recently, feeling like I wanted to take Evolve to Live on tour...I asked myself, "What would you do if you weren't afraid?" I instantly answered, "I'd sell my house, buy a motorhome and travel with Evolve to Live. Next part: "What are you afraid of?" It's the wrong thing, I sell my house and have nothing, gas is too expensive, people with think I'm crazy...etc. You get the picture. Once you go through it all, let yourself feel it, live it...then you're free to move forward.

I'll leave you with this thought:

I don't want to get to the end of my life and realize I lived what someone else thought life was about. Cheers