I'M HAPPY, I CAN BREATHE AND I'M HOPEFUL!

"My wife," (soon to be ex) " is telling all of our friends that I've gone off the deep end! That I'm living out in the middle of nowhere in the desert and that they all need to go and save me before I do something stupid!" he said.

This was the beginning of a very enlightening conversion between a client and myself one evening over dinner.   It was interesting to me that she thought he needed an intervention. I've only known him a short period of time but from my viewpoint, he's got it going on! He knows he wants to make changes and he's doing it! 

Then he began to run off a litany of adjectives of how he was feeling. "I'm depressed, anxious, confused, hurt, disappointed, and all of my security is gone! I'll be working forever now to fulfill my retirement requirements." 

And then... sitting under the twinkly lights on the huge manzanita tree under the desert sky, he said something that felt magical. He blurted out without missing a beat or even knowing what he was saying. "But, I'm happy, I can breathe and I'm hopeful!" 

"Oh my gosh!" I exclaimed, witnessing his clarity. "Did you hear those words that just came out of your mouth?" And I repeated them for him to really hear what he had said. "I'm happy, I can breathe and I'm hopeful!" 

Of course, we all go through the same emotional roller coaster ride of life, where depression and anxiety can feel overwhelming. But when we can complete the sentence with "I'm happy, I can breath and I'm hopeful," well, does it get any better than that? 

So go ahead, you don't always need to have a plan, sometimes you just need to breathe, let go and see what happens! 

SIDE NOTE - VISION QUESTING, ANXIETY!!

Just as an added little side note, Vision Questing doesn’t come without its issues. I’m in need of constant support from many different sources and on many different levels, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

For some it may appear a bit intriguing, however, I know for others, they can’t think of anything less interesting!

While I am certain that I was to leave the security of where I had been living for the past 3 months and the doors opened for a trip to Ireland, now that the time is getting closer I find myself in one of my panty twists.

Where am I going? Where in the friggin’ hell am I going? What am I going to do for a full month? Where am I staying? I keep thinking of different excuses not to go. My daughter needs me to horse sit; help her move...the Uncle of a friend of mine could use me to help him when he gets out of the hospital and I’m sure I can think up a couple of more distractions! I think the Universe is pretty tricky, as my ticket is non-refundable!

What make it extra difficult is traveling alone. My first trip to Ireland, Switzerland and Spain, revealed to me, that while I was physically alone, I was never truly alone. There was always support on a spiritual level. But dang it.....sometimes you just need God with skin on!

I called my shaman (support person). “This trip is like getting your PHD. You’re going for refinement in what you’ve been getting training in the past 10 years. You’re ready for this! Just feel into to the unsettled feelings and breathe, see who inside still needs reassurance and love.”

With that, I’ll go back on my retreat here in Chicago and try to stay in the moment, trusting things will unfold as they will...