HOW TO SURVIVE THE HOLIDAYS WHEN YOUR LIFE NO LONGER LOOKS LIKE THE WALTONS!

You remember the television series the Waltons, about a large family surviving the depression times or the Normal Rockwell paintings of family and the holidays. 

Well, one thing is for certain, life changes. At the very least, the children grow up and leave home. Add to the mix parents die, a spouse dies, siblings and friends move and you may find yourself with a Holiday Celebration that feels foreign or unfamiliar leaving you feeling sad!  What happened? 

As long as we try to cling to the way things used to be and celebrate in a way that feels familiar we may become depressed. 

This year, my family all gathered (the ones in town) at the local pub on Thanksgiving afternoon for a few beers, watch sports and to play pool. I did put in a small turkey early in the morning so that we could all have turkey sandwiches and everyone could take some turkey home. 

An 82 year old friend asked, "You're not going to have a turkey dinner?" I said, "For me, the most important thing is to have fun and cooking a full turkey dinner is not longer fun for me!"

So in order to enjoy the holidays completely, look outside the box of what was always familiar and do something new, something different and exciting!

When life happened, for me, (things were really different), I used to drive to Chico (about an hour and a half away), go to Mass, stop at Starbucks and get the Grandma's Turkey Sandwich with stuffing and cranberry sauce and go to quiet little spot overlooking Lake Oroville and just be. It was lovely. I loved the drive, no one was on the road, no one was at the lake except me and God. 

So start investigating now for Christmas. What sounds like fun? Remember to think about doing something completely different in order to feel the exhilaration of being alive! 

If you like being alone the holidays are a great time for that. I love to drive with no where to go....it's like being on a different planet! No one is out! (Unless you're headed to the city of course!)

Whether you enjoy being alone or being with others do what makes you happy. Either way, do only what brings you JOY! 

Some thoughts: 

1. In town, two restaurants were serving free turkey dinners to anyone who wasn't cooking for themselves, not just homeless or people in need.  Go and eat or go and volunteer! See what's happening for Christmas!

2. Cook at your home and start inviting people who are alone for the holiday.

3. Volunteer for a project that serves the homeless.

4. Go away! Go someplace that makes you smile.

5. Find a church and sing in the Christmas Choir.

6. Sleep all day.

Whatever you do, don't cling to...doing things the way you've always done them. As long as I was doing that, I just felt like a failure and it was in my face....things had changed! 

CHRISTMAS DAY

Since ‘Life Happened,’ to me, I’ve really come to appreciate the major holidays. Not from my old perspective in life, but from where I currently am on my life’s path.

When my children were small, my parents were still alive and my siblings all lived close by, we enjoyed having the big family get-togethers. But as the years have passed and the family dynamics have changed, there was nothing for me to do but to change the way I moved through the holiday season, otherwise I was just depressed!

It has become a time for me of peace, tranquility and reflection. While living in Grass Valley, I would drive to Chico for Mass on Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Day. ( I love to drive, I listen to God in the car! Otherwise I just order Him around!) The day before I would get a Grandma’s Turkey Sandwich from Starbuck’s and after Mass I would go to a cliff overlooking Lake Oroville. The sun was always shining and it was just me there enjoying the day, the bonus, the roads were empty! I loved driving through the grove of trees on the way there. I felt like they were hugging me! (It was a time in my life when no human could have done that for me!)

This Christmas, I traveled to Vancouver, WA, where all of my children and ex-husband will be gathering at my daughter’s.

My plane left at noon. Even though the plane was full, I was in the back and no one was in my row...so I had a nap:)!!! What a lovely present! I had a three hour layover in Vegas and enjoyed my time watching the people. Who was traveling on Christmas Day?

This Christmas and New Year’s time are everything that you’d like them to be in your life. I wish you love, joy, and laughter with whomever you choose to spend your time with. Thank you for being a part of my life.

TAKING TIME TO ENJOY THE MAGIC OF THE CHRISTMAS SEASON!

I recently got a new job...something that is relatively new for me, since ‘Life Happened’ to me eleven years ago. I consciously made a decision that I would work as many hours as I needed for one month to see if I couldn’t get this beautiful, one of a kind (in the USA anyway) ionized water, Aqua Spa, on its feet.

Being a recovering workaholic, I knew the challenge would be taking time off. The local Cheers Bar owner had organized a trip to Tucson to see the WinterHaven Lights. There were several choices that one could use to see the lights. On foot, trolly, horse and wagon and hay wagon! I’m very happy to report we (old foggies) took the trolly. A great choice as it was raining BIG Time! Wait! I’m in the desert....where’s the sun????

Living in the desert has it’s own sense of holiday magic....the illuminaries are quiet beautiful. However there is something to be said for the traditional Christmas trees and lights. I’m happy I took the time to get away with some friends and experience a bit of the Christmas Magic. Wishing you joy and magic this holiday season!

SANITY DURING THE HOLIDAYS...TAKING CARE OF OURSELVES!

Christmas….

How can one day put so many people into a tail spin? After all, it’s just another day…right?

I had a phone call yesterday from someone very dear to my heart….the conversation began…. “ I need a valium to get through the day tomorrow.” This is not the first person who has confessed to me the stress of the holidays and the need for some relief to 'get through it!'

I thought back to the movie, Christmas Vacation….Chevy Chase wanted the holidays to be perfect. He tried to duplicate Christmas from his childhood memories, what he thought he needed to do to make Christmas...Christmas! After every thing he created turned out to be disastrous…he turned to his dad and asked, “How did you make it through so many holidays?” His dad held up a bottle of whisky and said, “I had a little help from my old pal Jack….Jack Daniels!”

I put myself in the category of not fitting into the Norman Rockwell holiday scene and the stress that trying to ‘fit in’ can cause.

One more gift to make, to buy. One more thing to cook, to clean...One more person to visit~

Sometimes we can get so caught up in the preparation that we totally miss the gift, the gift of time and doing what bring us joy.

The question: Can we stay grounded and happy in the Holiday Season simply by taking inventory as to how we wish to spend our time. Who do we want to spend our time with and how much are we willing to give others while still taking care of ourselves.

Maybe the next time a holiday or special occasion comes around, perhaps we'll be able to say 'No' to the things that don't bring us joy....saving space for the things that do! Remember to take some time just for you...resting, playing...rejuvenating! Remember that when you're feeling your best, that will radiate to the others around you.