2016 Summer Tour of Hope - Stuff (Part 2)

We left off last blog with my realizing that while my 22" suitcase held nearly everything that I owned, there was nothing in it that I could remember.

I'm on this tour with my 22" suitcase of my clothes for the next 4-6 months and I've not even used anything from the suitcase. I have a smaller tote to take into where I'm staying and that's all the stuff that I've used so far... and I'm well into over two months into the tour.

Do we surround ourselves with stuff because we think more is better? Because it is a status symbol. Because we can't stand to have empty space around? It's the empty space that makes room for us to feel. We surround ourselves with stuff so we don't have to feel?

Because we can't let go of the past? We're afraid of the future? It was..."Mom's, Dad's, Joe made it, Sue gave it to me... fill in the blank. You're actually saying that others are more important than you're sanity.

Because it feels like love? We can rationalize, I deserve it!

Because its a DEAL? You can always find deals! Guaranteed... Stay out of the stores...  While in Grass Valley, CA, I noticed how many new thrift stores that have popped up since I was last here. Why? Because as a society have so much STUFF and people will pay money for what they think is a bargain! Where do we place ourselves on sale? I say to my clients,  "If you NEED something, and you know how you're going to use it... and you know where its going to live in your home and you're willing to go into a high-end store and pay full price for it... then buy it!"

Because we don't trust that we will be provided for?  I may need it someday! However when the day comes, it's old, it's rusted, you can't find it.

When we have to carry, pack and haul our own stuff, quickly we can see what is really important. I spent two years traveling without a car and two years with and it was much easier to travel with just a 22" suitcase and backpack then it was a car. Why? Because in a car you can always add more stuff! In a suitcase, it fits or it doesn't. If it doesn't, you leave it behind!

There's no judgement. It's simply an observation. And I know from the work ETL does, that folks aren't ready until they're ready. It's been true in my own personal journey. It's just interesting to me how many people on the 2016 Summer of Hope Tour are dealing or not dealing with their stuff!

2016 ETL Summer Tour of Hope - STUFF (Part 1)

Holy moly! Like in the movie, Hello, my name is Doris, I'm noticing on my tour that people and THEIR STUFF continue to have an off balance relationships with each other. Why is that?

A client and her sister are being swallowed alive by trying to merge their separate life times of stuff into one living space! Slowly but surely they just keep plugging away and they're getting things situated. They're very inspiring!

I just received an email from a former tenant who has been trying to get back into the house after several weeks to get a box of stuff that she left. Really? And another tenant still has stuff in the work shed that was supposed to have moved a month ago. It's been hauled from Point A to Point B, C, D and E... and each time not only does it cost money, it costs time and emotions. How secure is it? Whose going to steal it, break it or use it? It's exhausting!

What in the hell is the hold that keeps us attached, worried about and stressed over our stuff? Why do we have this unbalanced relationship with objects! What are we searching for? Why are we willing to spend so much money and energy on stuff? Stuff that will eventually end up in the land fill or someone else's garage. And yet it still holds us hostage.

I hear this story over and over again, "When my parent's died, I threw everything away." I know it was true for me when I settled my dad's estate. He had soooo much STUFF! So much that it was too overwhelming to deal with. So much that while he had paid money for it, I had to pay money to get rid of it!

In 2009 when I left for what became the book A Year in a Suitcase,  I had left everything that I owned in my 22" suitcase at the ranch of one of my daughter's friends, except my backpack that I took with me, while delivering horses to Chicago. On the way home, there was a fire in the area where my suitcase had been left and we weren't allowed back to the ranch for several days. After my original, "OH NO! My suitcase!"f Not even thinking of everything else that was at stake for others. After all... it was MY SUITCASE and it literally held nearly everything that I owned. Finally, I realized that while it held everything that I owned there was nothing that I could remember. That's how important all my stuff was.

My suitcase held all that I owned
 and yet nothing that I could remember!

(To Be Continued)

STUFF is an Energy Vampire!

Remember the song...WAR by Edwin Starr in 1969? He asks the question. War, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing....say it again ya all!!!"

As a transition specialist, I've been traveling from Northern CA to Peoria, Il helping people with transition which always involves letting go of stuff! 

STUFF is an energy vampire! It always stays in our minds. We romanticize as if it were a young lover's fling. 

We remember our stuff fondly, but in reality, like with all things, time has taken it's tole. Our stuff has been moved from point A to point B a billion times. It's been boxed and re-boxed, hauled and stacked, peed on by pets and has made nice homes for mice and rats. And still....we can't let it go...why? 

I pose the question. STUFF what is it good for? Absolutely nothing! 

Well, not exactly true. Stuff serves many purposes. Stuff is here for our pleasure and enjoyment. It's all well and good as long as it serves us and we're not in service to our stuff. 

On an emotional level, stuff gives us an opportunity to deal with the shit we create in our lives. (Among other things.) It's just a outward mirror for what's happening on the inside. In fact, dealing with our stuff....can be overwhelming and can literally make us ill. That's where I come in as support. 

The most freeing thing I've ever done (and hard) was to let go of everything that didn't fit into a 22" suitcase and backpack. Like an onion, I had to do it in layers, each time I was able to let go of a bit more. Whatever I have, wallet, purse or suitcase, I have to fill every last inch!  And now that I own a car, I can always add one more thing!! It's absolutely exhausting!

So, what keeps us holding onto our stuff? (Nice chapter for the book I'm working on!)* Of course the answer is emotional...what else? 

Can you let it go? If not...why not?  Why does our stuff make us crazy and still we can't let it go? 

Our stuff is comforting...as long as we have our stuff...we don't have to change...I have no point...just wondering...your thoughts? 

*Watch for the chapter (Our Stuff) in my new book, A Year in a Suitcase coming later this year.)

EVERYTHING IN MODERATION; THE DOSE MAKES THE POISON!

I just rented the Riverbend Retreat House so I could continue my journey of A YEAR IN A SUITCASE! I would have said, I own, very little...a half dozen boxes or so...I remembered back to when I had lived for a year at the beach in LA and arrived with absolutely nothing and left with a toyota truck...loaded to the brim...so much STUFF...I couldn't even find room for a soda for the 10 hour drive up north! Well, once again, having to get rid of the few (:-) things I had in the garage, I realized how our STUFF keeps us in bondage. When I left a year ago, I had put a few things in the garage and while moving the things yesterday, opening each box..."I can't get rid of...." I remembered how much time and energy just having these bits and pieces have taken! I had to have someone go to the garage and reorganize, put plastic down, cover the things in plastic in case the garage leaked, hunt for things I asked, reorganize again, make room for other treasures and now...my apparent 'nothing' fills another toyota truck! So now, carrying nothing, to the truck, loading nothing into the truck, carrying nothing into the house and resorting nothing is simply exhausting! It's stealing my energy...literally! I help others with organization and I can actually see when someone is ready to clear STUFF from their lives. New opportunities open up for them. Having too much STUFF, blocks the flow of energy. STUFF takes up space! It stifles creativity, blocks the flow of money and we can feel stuck! While it is hard to let go of some last bits and pieces the criteria that I will be using..."Can I get it again?" If the answer is yes, then it's going! Too much of anything is what makes it off balance! I want to move forward in prosperity and so I'm leaving my STUFF behind!