A YEAR IN A SUITCASE PART 2

I remember having a vision of the time I had saved a young girl in the Colorado River from drowning. I was very pregnant with our third child, when I ran into the water and of course the first thing that she did was grab my neck. Still to this day, I clearly remember thinking, "We're both not going to drown here!" And I dove down and grabbed her ankles and pushed her towards the shore.

That's how I felt about my marriage. I felt like I way dying, if not literally, certainly emotionally. It was like in the movie, Shall We Dance? How could I not be happy? How could I want more? How ungrateful could a person be? I had husband who was true and didn't gamble or drink. How ungrateful could a person be?

Then, he gave me a gift. It's how I see it now. Of course, this is ten years after the fact. He had a stroke. I absolutely would not have had the courage to leave had it not been a matter of life and death for me!  "We're both not going to drown here!" I remember thinking.

Long story short: I sold my car so I could get rent money for six months and my youngest son and I moved out. Of course, as you may imagine, I was a total basket case. I couldn't stop crying and I even told my son to call from school as we'd probably have to move back, even though I paid for the entire six months rent in advance. 

Then, my dear priest friend called, and asked, "Did you ever think that you're giving someone an opportunity to grow… rather than you've deserted them? 

To this day, he doesn't remember saying it and I'm confident that it came from a  higher source. Another self-defing moment was discovering that it's not my job to be sure that everyone feels no pain. My job is to live MY life!

My latest book, A Year in a Suitcase is on sale this month 2 for $30. Buy one for a gift and I'll even wrap and ship it for you! 

A YEAR IN A SUITCASE PART 1

In the Dale Carnegie course that I'm taking, our first assignment was to talk for two minutes about a self-defining moment. At the ripe old age of 62, I had many to choose from, and realized a handful were what led to my adventure of A Year in a Suitcase. So this month, I'm going to talk each week about one of those self-defining moments and hopefully get ourselves motivated for some kind of adventure in our lives come January.

I looked up and there I was…standing in front of the luggage store at the Denver airport, still in shock from my visit with my dad. While leaving his home, the Hospice Chaplin walked in... and that is how I found out that my father was dying! Feelings of anger, betrayal, abandonment filled my being. 

Why the luggage store? At the time, I had no idea why, but somehow I knew that I would need a new suitcase. I also knew that I had no money. I had no business buying anything! "I have a credit card", I began to scheme. Well, it really wasn't mine. It was one that my dad gave me after my recent divorce and bankruptcy… for emergencies. This was an emergency… wasn't it? A new suitcase? While I would be paying him back, I also knew that using it would come with a litany of questions that I would have to answer. But somehow I didn't care. I confidently walked in and asked the clerk what size of suitcase would one need to carry-on an international flight. "Twenty-two inch," came the reply. I plunked down the credit card, added a purse to the order and transferred my clothes from my little ratty bag. I proudly walked out rolling my new black, no frills, TravelPro, twenty-two inch bag, $400 poorer. 

It wasn't long before I began to panic. "What the hell had I done? Being the queen of taking things back, I knew that this could not be returned and I had no idea how I was going to pay for it! But as soon as I got home, I opened  my emails and there was a note from The Universe. This is what it read, no kidding! Hey Pati, You know how to get more money? Spend it! (Which is opposite of what I had been taught!) I began to understand what keeping the energy flowing was all about. And not to block the flow of energy just because I couldn't understand how things could possibly work out. 

This is the suitcase that I have to this day and its the suitcase that took me on a four-year adventure. In my latest book, you can read about the first year. A Year in a Suitcase. They're on sale on my website 2 for $30, buy one for yourself and one for a gift!